Monday, August 28, 2006


About one week before I closed on my home and moved, my PCP (primary care physician) stopped accepting my insurance. I had very good intentions to find a new one; however, with the moving, the boxes, and the rapid last minute packing, I lost all my insurance information.

And, then, well, I forgot about it.

Until last week or so. I went online, registered to use the NEW and EASY (*cough*) insurance homepage. However, when I tried to pick a new PCP, the system wouldn't let me. Curse the System! Curse the System!

I meant to call later, but ... well ... I forgot. I don't get doctor-visit-worthy sick very often, so it didn't cross my mind again.

Until today. So, I went online, located about 5 doctors who were in easy walking distance of my office and/or home, and called the insurance company.

It was relatively painless. Except for the screaming my social security number into telephone part. When I said it at a level that my entire office couldn't hear, the little telephone recordingman would say "I'm sorry, but I didn't understand that. Please say your social security number again."

Eventually I did get to speak with a "real person," who explained I couldn't do anything online because they had my old address. Some mail had been returned [stupid post office and they're lack of forwarding my mail. hate them], so they put a "hold" on my account until I called to give them my new address. *geh*

Once that was sorted, I randomly picked some doctor off the list and all was well.

UNTIL, I googled the doctor. I suppose my criteria for choosing a doctor should be more selective than male, walking distance, and able to speak Farsi. It would appear that this doctor's interests are 1) endocrinology and 2) geriatrics.

At first, I thought, "hm. inappropriate." Then, I realized, in gay years*, I am geriatric! My new doctor should be a perfect match.

*VUBOQ's How to Calculate Your Age in Gay Years


If you are between 18 and 30, use your actual age +/- 5.

If you are >30, use the following formula:

[(Your Age) - 30] X 5 + 30 = Your Gay Age

Example: I am 36 years old. Using the formula, I am 60 in Gay Years.

I might as well be dead.


  1. then you are 30.

    milliseconds away from geriatricity.

  2. but i'm older than 30. i'm 30 and 3 months. which means i have to use your formula. and it comes out, 31.25yo. but when i was exactly 30, a few months back, i'd have been 30 +/- 5. which could have made me older than what i am now. or much younger. but, i was carded at a movie theater... hmm...

  3. Do you really want to be the person that you were at 21? Or 25?

    I am content with my age (32) and don't care about the young queers who think I am already an old crone.

  4. I am not gay so thankfully I don't have to apply your painful formula. I mean, holy cow!

  5. life only begins at 60! embrace it!