Friday, September 29, 2006

One of These Things Is Not Like the Others

To help combat my office boredom, I decided to make a list of all (or at least all the people I can remember) I have kissed romantically in the past 15 years or so. I feel like I'm leaving a few out.

It's actually not that many ... I need to get out more.

Asian Man
Asian Man 2
edited to include Lorenzo, the Italian Professor

And, there should be some "random dance floor lip action" scattered throughout the list too.

I need to branch out on names. 3 Brians? [and actually, I was dating the last two Brians at the same time. Yeah, that got confusing.]


Happy Hour at Halo last night was fun. I drank Vanil and Ginger. Yum. Sweet and warming. Mmm. I think I had 4 drinks. I was well-lit. I left around 9, I think. Tomoko and Robert went to dinner. Mike and Darryl went home. A fun time was had by all.

On the way home, I did something I possibly shouldn't have. I called John. He didn't answer, so I left a message. I didn't say much ... that I had been thinking about him lately and wondered how he was doing. And to give Oscar a squeeze from me. Surprisingly it wasn't a drunken rambling crying voicemail. At least, I don't think it was. *heh*

I'm leaving work early today (2:30ish) to get ready for Jake's visit. I'll try to remember to take a camerapic of my Red for Autumn hair tomorrow and post it to my flickr account. Other than that, have a totally groovy weekend.

AND, don't forget, October 1st is World Vegetarian Day - take a vegetarian out to lunch or send your favorite vegetarian blogger (hint: ME!) wads of CASH!!!

(or I suppose you could just have a meat-free meal/day ...)

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Red for Autumn

As I have mentioned, I've decided to go Red for Autumn. In case some of you are having trouble imagining what I will look like, here are a few visual aids:

Headshot 1, StickSteven Edition:

Hm... That's not really all that helpful, is it?

How about this:

HeadShots 2&3, Blond and No Longer Blond Edition:

Better, no?

Most of you probably do not know this, but I was born with very red hair - not the CarrotTop shockingly vibrant red, but a less in-your-face strawberry blond red. Everyone loved it.

As I got older, my hair darkened, losing nearly all of its redness until my natural color became a dark blond. Yet, if I spent long periods of time in the sun, red highlights would appear.

However, working full-time put a serious dent in my ability to spend long periods of time in the sun. Very sad. I liked having red hair. I dyed it red once (maybe 3 or 4 years ago), but I think it was too dark. This time I want something a bit lighter. We'll see how it goes.

The great thing about hair is that no matter how bad the cut, style, or color, it (usually) grows out.

Weekend O' Fun

Let the Weekend O' Fun begin! [or, um, let it begin in about seven hours ...]

Lots going on ... Happy Hour at Halo tonight. Jake coming into town tomorrow. Going Red for Autumn. Saturday Early Evening Margaritas (SEEM). And who knows what other fun there will be?

So, last night, in preparation for the arrival of the Jake, I started de-cat-hairing the apartment. Jake, apparently, is allergic to the hair of the cat. I will be turning my bedroom into a "Cat Free Zone" and, hopefully, that will be sufficient. One thing I learned last night: Removing cat hair from velvety drapes? Not so easy.

As it was laundry day, it was also call all my friends who also have Verizon and catch up. I had a nice long chat with my college best friend, Isa. I tried calling Lori too, but we kept missing each other. And, I talked to Christal. I filled everyone in on the latest Mike news. Loads of fun. But, y'know, the more I talk about these things, the better I feel. Sure it hurt, but I'm slowly realizing that I've known the end was coming ... I was just trying to avoid it. I'll miss the sex though.

One of the washing machines is still broken, which meant it took me FOREVER to get my three loads of wash done. I finally had everything folded and my bed made with nice, clean, warm sheets by 10PM. *geh* I spoke to several neighbors, and all are not happy with the lack of response we are getting from our management company. It may be time to initiate a search for a new one. Thank goodness I'm not on the board and have to deal with this.


Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Like Yarn for Knitting

Last night, as I sat there, slightly intoxicated, casting on 134 stitches in a wheat-brown yarn on #3 bamboo needles, I suddenly thought of Like Water for Chocolate. I had just gotten off the phone with Mike a little earlier, and the hat I was beginning to knit was for him.

What if, like in the book, my feelings while knitting were somehow transferred to the knitted object and the wearer?

I had been thinking some not very nice thoughts. I emptied my mind (which isn't all that hard to do) and concentrated on happy things and friendly feelings and good memories. It was exhausting.

Negativity is so much easier.

I think I need to do that for all my knitting. As I stated earlier today, knitting is my thinking time, but too often I dwell on the negative as I knit and purl. I need to focus on positive thoughts and outcomes.

And, maybe, this will transfer to those who wear items I knit as well ...

Pervy! Monkey!

Alyssa and Dana, two of my former co-workers, came to Silver Spring for lunch today. We went to Austin Grill. I haven't seen them in ages, so it was tres cool to hang out for a bit.

The weather is stunning, so we sat outside. Towards the end of our meal, two very good-looking men walked by. As soon as I saw what was written on their dark blue t-shirts, I got the giggles:

Chute Master

*tee hee*

[I googled it, apparently it's an environmental company of some sort ... with a defunct website.]

A Bottle of Wine

I made a simple pasta sauce of sauteed onion, red bell pepper, and a can of fire-roasted tomatoes. Then, I added some homemade pesto which was in my freezer. I tossed it with that twisty pasta. It was yummy.

I watched a DVD. It was in French. I don't remember the title, but it was cute.

I drank a bottle of wine, cabernet sauvignon (did I spell that correctly?).

Slightly buzzed, I called Mike. *heh* Yesterday, I included him on a mass email to friends inviting them to join me at Halo on Thursday for its second anniversary all night "happy hour." He didn't respond. I wanted to make sure that he knew I was inviting him because I wanted him there and not out of some misplaced obligation.

We talked for a bit more. We discussed the weekend roadtrip to West Virginia. He is still willing to take care of PsychoKitty Isabella while I'm in London [Did you know that I'm going to London?]. The conversation was coming to an end, when he said,

"Was there anything else you wanted to say to me?"

[pause] Eh. What? I had to stop to think. No, there wasn't. But was there something I should have wanted to say? Was there something that he was expecting me to say that I didn't? [pause]

"No. I think I covered everything I wanted to mention. Is there something else that I should have said?"

"No. I was just being polite, like a Verizon operator who asks if there's anything else you need."

"Uh. OK. There isn't. Bye."


I cast on another hat. I needed to think.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006


I think I look really tired ...


really, really tired ...


[and at that angle my head looks pointier than usual.]
[Yes. I have a pointy head.]

I feel really, really tired too.

I think I'm going to go red on Saturday [I have an appointment with Leah the Colornatrix].

Meat-Free Monday: As God As My Witness, I'll Never Go Hungry Again!

*munches on carrot*

After work, I took the Metro to Scaryland (aka Wheaton). I needed to pick up a few things at Target, and I wanted to look for a pair of cute, slimcut, dark brown, fashionable pants which would travel well at Macys/JC Penneys/somewhere lelse.

No luck was had with the pants.

On the way home, I stopped off at Adega for dinner: portabello mushroom sandwich and a glass of the house cabernet. YUM. Plus, I got to ogle the cute new cashier, who also works as a barista at the nearest Starbucks. I really should ask him sometime if he works at every restaurant/shop in Silver Spring.

The food was good, but eating seems like such a chore recently. I may drop down to one meal a day.

Once home, I put in some Harry Potter DVDs and concentrated on my knitting. I finished another hat! YAY! I tell you, these hats are SUPER-CUTE. I have two more to knit as presents. Then, I'll buy some more of the yarn and make one for ME! Actually, I kind of want to make one for all my friends, but I think I may get tired of knitting them before that happens.

In other news, right before I left work yesterday, I got this email from Mike:

I haven't known you that long but it's still strange to check my email and see nothing from you today!

I'm wondering what to do about the road trip to [West] Virginia. I'm assuming you want to cancel the trip. Or, do you want to wait awhile in case you begin to feel differently?

When you left the house yesterday, I already began to miss hanging out with you. I hope we can again soon!

So, I wrote this back:

And what have you learned about making assumptions?

I spoke with Darryl yesterday about what to do about the trip, and he convinced me that I should still go. Maybe Darryl and I could share a room? Maybe I will feel not so out of sorts when I get back from London? Maybe I won't, but I still value your friendship and I don't want that to end. You helped me deal with a lot of difficult stuff that was going on this summer and I appreciate that so much.

I want to write more, but I can't without getting all emotional and that makes me feel even more ridiculous.

Knitting time is thinking time for me, and what I came up with last night is that I'm not sure if I'm getting all emotional about *him* or if I'm getting all emotional over the fact that I have been unable to have a relationship (other than very good friendships) that works.

There's always something: I live too far away. I don't drive. I'm a morning person. I didn't sweep him off his feet. I don't accept a partner who cheats. There's no "magic" when we kiss.

Y'know, I've never subscribed to the belief that you need a partner to be complete. That we are all puzzle pieces with missing gaps until we find that one special person who fits. Yet, I've always thought that somewhere out there is the "perfect" partner for me, someone who challenges me, who helps me be a better person.

The question is how do you find him?

Monday, September 25, 2006

On Food

I realized about 30 minutes ago that I haven't eaten since Mike and Matt's party on Saturday evening. I've had coffee (lots of coffee). I nibbled on some corn chips. I took a vitamin. Oh, and I had a bowl of ice cream last night (with Kahlua and cherries. yum). But that's it. I haven't had a "real" meal in two days.

And, I really don't want to eat now either.

It seems like too much of a chore - going out, deciding what to eat, buying it, chewing, swallowing. So much effort. So little to show for it.

Maybe I'll eat something tonight. I have to go to Target to buy some necessities. There's a yummy Thai restaurant nearby. I might grab a bite to eat there. Otherwise, this week's Meat-free Monday might not happen for me.

I hope it happens for you though. Do your part for the environment: Enjoy a Meat-Free Meal today! *meat-free smooches*

Toxic Waste Dump of My Life

Hello, my name is VUBOQ, and this is going to be an extremely overdramatic entry that you probably shouldn't take at face value.

Things I learned this weekend:
1. I get cruised a lot more than I realized.
2. I should listen to my intuition more.
3. Mike and I ended our "relationship."

So, let's start with the depressing stuff first, then I'll recap the rest of a rather eventful weekend ...

Saturday night, after attending a party and seeing a movie, I was at Mike's house watching DVDs on his computer (his roommate had commandeered the downstairs TV). Mike asks, "So what are you thinking about our relationship?"

I responded that I was a little confused because it seemed like we (meaning he) were becoming more distant, rather than closer [like one would expect after seeing someone for an extended period of time].

He asked if this is something I had just noticed today. [Um. No.]. I said that I had been feeling that way for several weeks, and had been trying to figure out what was going on. Of course, he lambasted me for not communicating my feelings. [What.ever. We shall soon see that he could have also been a better communicator. It's a two-way street, y'know.]

He then went on to say this blah blah blah crap about how when he kisses someone that he needs to feel [for lack of a better word I'll use] "magic" and he doesn't when we kiss. He babbled on about how when we first met it was "really special" and he doesn't know why he can't be in a relationship. And, I'm just sitting there. Listening. Thinking.

It's 2AM. He said, "Do you want to stay over?'

I said no, put on my shoes and got ready to leave. I got home around 3:45.

And, now, we'll interrupt the narrative for a few of my thoughts:

1. He's known he's felt this way for several weeks [I could probably pinpoint it in this blog by going back to see when I stopped blogging about our sexlife]. He could have said something then. He probably should have said something then. That bothers me.
2. I knew this would not last. That it was temporary. All of my gut feelings pointed that way. So why did I not listen to them?
3. He said at one point "I shouldn't have to tell someone how to kiss me" and I thought, "why not? You tell people how you like blowjobs ['My head is really sensitive so be careful']. Why can't you tell them how you like to be kissed?
4. If you wait for "magic," you're going to be waiting for a long, long time. In my experience, the "magic" tends to be one-sided, the feeling unreciprocated. Fairy tales don't exist, yo.

So, anyway ... that's the gist of teh drama. Now, the weekend recap, with a little more drama thrown in towards the end ... [this is a clever ploy to get you to keep reading].

Friday, I went over to Christal's to tidy up her place and take her mountain bike. On the way, I was totally [and obviously] checked out by this guy stopped in traffic. It was funny. I say it was obvious, because usually I am completely oblivious to that sort of thing. I caught him looking. He smiled. I smiled back.

I biked home from Christal's, because bikes aren't allowed on Metro during rush hour (gah!). It didn't take too long, maybe 20 minutes, but I am seriously out of shape. *gasp* hill! *pant* Once I got home, I decided that I didn't want to be a total loser, so I called Darryl. I decided to meet him and his friends at Logan Tavern. I got there around 8:30, I guess. When I met them at their table, Darryl said, "Well, you certainly attracted attention as you glided in."

I'm all like "What?" ... see what I mean about oblivious?

After eating a bowl of mashed potatoes [I had eaten at home earlier] at Logan and having a Tangueray Negroni [bitter, like me!], we wandered down to Halo for a drink or two. Fun times were had by all. I got home around midnight.

Saturday, I went to the Whole Foods to buy ingredients for chili. I blobbed around. I knitted. I made chili. I met Mike at 5:30 to go to Mike and Matt's going away party, which was a lot of fun. Many nice people were there. Mike and Mike have some mutual friends, so Mike actually knew more people there than I did. Go figure. We left the party around nine and went to see Jet Li's Fearless, which I thought was really good [I have a super-huge crush on Jet Li]. It made me cry in a couple of places.

Lesseee ... then there was all the "drama."

Sunday morning, my cousin called at 9:45. It's good she did. Otherwise, I probably would have spent the day in bed feeling sorry for myself. She and her husband put an offer on a house in Ann Arbor. Yay! We talked about that. We talked about Mike. It was all good.

That afternoon, I decided to go shopping. I went to Barnes and Noble. Using some leftover giftcards, I bought a coffee and Rough Guide: Scotland. I'm very excited about my trip. [Did you know that I'm going to London?]. I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy some more clothes hangers. Then, I went over to Mike's. I wanted to pick up my inflatable mattress.

I get there and he's all chatty like everything is the same as it was. He's all "are you sure you want to take the mattress now?" and "I'll have a car this weekend I can drive it over" and "it's really heavy" and blah blah blah. I'm, like, "give me the friggin' mattress already."

He's asking about my shopping and whatnot and finally I say, "Mike, I don't think I can transition into simply friendship so quickly." He looks surprised, as if he's forgotten that he's had weeks to process everything and I've had about 12 hours. We talk. I start crying (gah!), mostly because I feel so stupid.

He's all "You're mad at me."
And, I'm all, "No. I don't get mad at people for being honest."
He's all, "Maybe you should have communicated how you felt earler."
I'm all, "Maybe. Maybe you should have, too. Not that anything would have changed."

It's not like communicating that I'm upset that we're not having sex as often as I like would have suddenly made him feel "magic" when we kiss. Perhaps it only would have hastened the end.

coulda woulda shoulda.

That's it. End of story. The end.
Any questions?


1. Do I still have him take care of the PsychoKitty while I'm on vacation? [Did I mention that I'm going to London?] Or do I find someone else?
2. Do I back out of the weekend group trip to West Virginia that we were planning in November? [Darryl says no, because if I don't go, he won't go, and he wants to go. Maybe by then I'll have made my peace]
3. Can I find someone to date who is not a 'toxic bachelor'? Or should I throw in the towel?

Any answers?

Oh, and on my walk to work this morning, I am walking past the middle school's lower parking lot (about a block from my apartment) and a man in a silver car asked, "Do you need a ride?"

I smiled, said "No. Thank you" and went on my mary way to work.

I saw him drive by a few minutes later. He was so busy checking me out in his rear view mirror that he almost hit the car in front of him. *heh* Behold the power of VUBOQ in the morning!

Friday, September 22, 2006

A List of Things You May or May Not Know About Me

1. I want to go back to White Sands, New Mexico some day. I think it's one of the most beautiful places I've ever been.
2. I have a BA in Science Education, Biology Concentration from Elon College (now University).
3. I have an MA in Global Environmental Policy from American University (and, even though Mike works there, I didn't meet him until after I graduated).
4. I had a girlfriend for a few months in Japan.
5. When I was in second grade, I jumped off our front porch, landed on a bush, and sprained my ankle.
6. It really bugs me when people say things like "I thought you only dated Asians" or "Someone told me you only like black men" to me.
7. I think my mom will freak out when I tell her I'm gay.
8. I think my dad already knows.
9. My favorite color is green.
10. Breaking up with John is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. And, sometimes, I think about calling him and trying to get back together.
11. I've been snowskiing twice in my life. Both times were complete disasters.
12. I can ice skate pretty well though.
13. 13 is my lucky number. [Ex. I graduated 13 out of 396 in my high school class.]
14. Two of the first crushes on (famous) guys that I can remember are Patrick Duffy in The Man from Atlantis and Mark Gastineau.
15. The first man with whom I had sex was a math teacher at the school where I worked. I was 23. He was in his 40s.
16. If I lived in a big house with a yard, I would have a dog ... in addition to the PsychoKitty.
17. I wish I had taken Spanish instead of Latin in high school.
18. I "inherited" my first car, a metallic pine green 1979 AMC Spirit, from my brother.
19. I have a hairy brown birthmark on my right leg above my knee. I don't wear shorts often because of it.
20. When I was in 5th and 6th grade my bedroom had dark purple carpet. I thought it was cool.

Random Thoughts

It's too early to be thinking about these things ...

1. Being alone isn't bad. Really. [See the comments on Goblinbox's latest entry.]

2. Why do we sometimes refer to discrimination against the gays as homophobia? By making it a "fear," does it somehow justify it?

3. Am I a total loser because I have no Friday night plans other than a) clean a friend's apartment, b) knit, and c) watch DVD?

4. If I don't have sex soon, I may explode.

In other news,

As some of you may know, I'm GOING TO LONDON!!! WOO HOO!!!

Oh, and yesterday, I met Mike at Whole Foods in Silver Spring. While waiting for him, I ran into one of my neighbors, Chris, who serves on our co-op board. She asked me if I would be interested in serving on it next year, because one member can't run again and another is moving. I said I would be willing to be considered. Then, she goes into this long explanation about our management company and how it's not been doing a good job recently and blah blah blah ... and I start thinking, "Are you asking me to be on the board so I can fire the management company?" [pause] [pause] (still thinking) "I'm the heavy! I'm the heavy!"

Apparently I give off the aura of someone who would enjoy firing little old ladies. *sigh*

Sad, but true, I suppose.

Anyway, Mike arrived. We bought food and ate on the pseudo-astroturf "lawn" in downtown Silver Spring. The weather was lovely, if a bit cool. After we ate, we wandered through some of the shops. Somehow, I managed to restrain myself and not buy any more shoes from DSW. Mike bought cupcakes at CakeLove, which really weren't all that great. The frosting was yummy, but the cake was a little ... dense. We sat in front of the newly restored fountain and talked. Around 9:30, I started to get cold. We walked to the bus stop and waited for his bus. We kissed good night and he left.

I walked home, knitted a few rows on a hat, and went to bed. My life is so exciting.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Great White Way

Some of you may remember back in my Enviroboi incarnation I wrote about "The Worst Date Ever." It took place in early Spring, perhaps April? Towards the end of the date, as we were walking to the Metro Station, we passed a woman who was wearing white shoes.

My date, utterly aghast, exclaimed, "How dare she wear white shoes before Memorial Day?!" Maybe if we were walking down the street during the White Shoes Only Between Memorial and Labor Day and Never Wear Pearls Before 5PM 1950s, his response would have been appropriate, and we could have whipped out our sterling silver martini shakers and flogged the woman about her head and shoulders.

However, this was in the early Who Gives a Flying Fuck About When to Wear White Shoes or Pearls 2000s and the-very-frustrated-at-this-point I responded, "Perhaps she doesn't prescribe to outmoded fashion dictates?"

Every now and again, about this time of year, I come across a blog post in which someone is ranting about someone else wearing white -and not necessarily shoes- after Labor Day and I think, "Eh. Get over yourselves."
and "Stop being so closed-minded."
and "Comfort and style are more important."

For example, when I lived in Japan, my junior high and high school students were often the victims of rigid fashion dictums (dicta?).

Autumn comes early in Japan. Think of the Autumnal Equinox being the midpoint of Autumn, rather than the beginning. At the early August arrival of "Autumn,"* Japanese school uniforms switch from short-sleeve Summer cotton shirts to heavy wool Winter weight. It didn't matter if the temperature in southern Japan was frequently over 80 degrees in late August. The students had to wear their Winter wool uniforms to school. *gasp* I had heat stroke simply looking at them.

A more common sense approach to uniforms (and the wearing of white shoes whenever the hell you want) would be to allow comfort and personal style determine the clothes. Yet, when have Japanese Education Bureaucracies (and ignorant little queens) allowed common sense to influence their decision-making processes? Possibly never.

So ... um ... my point being: Wear white whenever you friggin' want.
VUBOQ declares it to be A-OK!

(If you must know, VUBOQ doesn't wear white much at all. It's too hard to keep clean.)

*OMG. Was that some fucking fantastic alliteration or what?

I Have Purchased New Luggages

New Luggage! From! Very excited!

All I have left to buy is a pair of pants or two ... I found these I like at (in dark brown). And these and these at Ben Sherman (but they are too expensive for now). I have cute shoes to wear already (yay!): the ankle-y boots I bought at DSW last week and a pair of Calvin Klein shoes to wear to da clubs (if I end up going to da clubs, that is).

I think I'm going to head up to scary, scary Wheatonland this weekend to check out the Target, Macys, and JC Penneys there. Fun times. Anyone want to join with?

I'm Actually Doing Work Today

It kinda sucks.

I'm compiling our monthly stats for our annual report. I'm making graphs and being an MS Excel wizard. It would help if I could remember all the terminology, so when I ask a question it's not phrased like this, "When I copy the thingy to this thing, what code do I use to make sure all the numbers are copied from each individual thing to the main thing?"

At least *I* know what I'm talking about.

In other news,

-As some of you may know, I'm going to London.

-It's Fall. And it's COLD! (It was 47 degrees this morning. What up with that?)

-I'm meeting Mike for dinner tonight. YAY!

-My 5th Annual Pumpkin Carving Party will be on October 27th. Mark your calendars.

-Mike and Darryl want to do a weekend road trip to some gay B&B in West of Bumfuck, WV. I wonder if they have running water there. Coal mines! Rednecks! Deliverance! Loretta Lynn! Can't wait.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Pants! It's Pants! I Tell You!

As some of you may know, I am going to London (!!!) next month. I need a new pair of pants or two for my trip - something cute, fun, and that will travel well.

I'm having difficulty finding anything decent in my size that I like.


I think only fat people live in the suburbs. Maybe this weekend, I'll venture into the District to see if I can find anything.

Meanwhile, if anyone has any suggestions (style, color, brand, store), please let me know. I have to look all hip and European while I'm there.


Aimless. Passionless. Practically Dead.

Ever get the sinking feeling that you're in the wrong career and that the choices you've made all along have been more the result of randomness than the desire to follow your passions?

I have. Yesterday. More so today.

It all started with a simple conversation over dinner with Bellringer Moving to Scotland Mike. We were discussing the tragedy of the MacArthur Foundation, once again overlooking me for a "genius grant," which, if you don't know, is $25000 per quarter for five years with no restrictions on how to spend it.

Mike asked a simple question, "How would you spend it?"
And, I couldn't answer.

Would I write a novel? Probably not. I come up with really great starts to novels, but flounder after a chapter or two.

I started thinking about my passions in life: Things I love to do (or have loved doing), things I loved studying, etc.

So far, I've come up with:

Evolutionary Theory.

Global Environmental Policy didn't make the cut. I mean, I loved it when I was studying it, but actually working in the field? I'm kinda *meh* about that.

So, I'm stuck.

I'm feeling *meh* about continuing to work in my field, and I can't afford to go back to school to get a degree in the Evolutionary Theory of Bugs, Knitting, and Pottery either. Maybe I should try knitting bugs or something.

This week, not so good so far.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Rejected Once Again

I have once again been overlooked by the MacArthur Foundation. No "Genius Grant" for VUBOQ.

VUBOQ sad.

It is important to note that until very recently I thought that this foundation was somehow affliated with General "I Shall Return" MacArthur. Color me embarassed. Perhaps that's why they keep ignoring my creative contribution to society.

In other news, the meeting with the realtor went well. He didn't mention John. Nor did I. I was a bit apprehensive walking to Christal's. *whew*

Finally, a little poll ...

If you recently moved into a new apartment, would you rather receive

a) a nice plant of some sort,
b) a basket of English muffins/breakfasty foods, or
c) something else which you must name in your comment.


Meat-Free Monday: Inspiration Lost Edition

I don't know what's happened in the past few weeks, but my desire to do anything fun in the kitchen has waned. Last night, I peered into my fridge, took inventory of the various ingredients therein, and fried up a veggie burger. Nothing photo-worthy, I'm afraid. Veggie burger with tomato and cheese. Ice cream with kahlua. That was my dinner.

Not that it wasn't yummy. It just wasn't ... well, it wasn't up to par. *sigh*

In other exciting news, I finished the green hat! I was going to post a photo, but it's a present for someone who, I think, sometimes reads this blog. I don't want him to see it before I give it to him. The hat? It is TOTALLY cute. Soft. Warm. I want to keep it for myself. I guess I'll make one for me later.

Christmas knitting... what fun. I have a few more hats to make for people. I have to knit a scarf for my brother. I have to decide what I'm going to knit for my parents (maybe cute matching mittens?).

Meanwhile, at 10:30, I have to go meet Christal's realtor to give him her spare key. I'm a little worried about the meeting, because this realtor was also John's realtor. John and I went to dinner with him earlier in the year. John referred Christal to him when she was first moving to Atlanta. Anyway, he knows John and I aren't together anymore. I wonder if he'll bring it up. I hope not. I was thinking of different ways to respond to any questions he might ask. The emotionally satisfying answers are more than likely not the ones I would actually give.

Tonight, I'm meeting Mike (the Mike who is moving to Scotland, not the Mike with whom I occasionally have sex) at Zaytinya for dinner. It's a fun middle eastern tapas (mezze, I suppose is the correct term) restaurant. I'm looking forward to having a glass of retsina.

OH, and finally, yesterday, I received a letter from my university. Homecoming is in November, and the Elon Teaching Fellows are having a reunion brunch. I was in the first class of Teaching Fellows accepted at Elon. The NC Teaching Fellowship is a program which provided a full scholarship to approximately 400 students per year to attend one of 11 (?) North Carolina universitites in exchange for teaching for 4 years in North Carolina public schools. I completed 2 years of my indentured servitude before I came to my senses, resigned, and moved to Japan. When I returned, I had to repay the final two years (about $9000, interest free) from my savings.

The letter included a little survey, which was lots of fun to fill out. Example: Tell us (briefly) about your favorite teaching memory: "Resigning."

They also asked us to send in photos either of us teaching (the actual phrase was "a photo of you in action" ... my pervy monkey brain went in a direction I don't think they want a picture of) or with our families for a slideshow. I'm still debating whether I should send in a photo or not. What would I send? The Saturday Afternoon Margarita gang gathered on a patio drinking? That's about as close to a family as I have. I haven't taught in nearly 10 years, so I doubt any of those pictures would be worth sending: "This is me teaching in China. I now have shorter, blonder, thinner hair." *heh*

And, then, last night, I kept dreaming about Teaching Fellows. They were my closest friends for four years, and, now, I only keep in touch with two of them. Sad, really. People change. People move. Friends get tossed aside and forgotten. I totally had a crush on Jaime. Hm. I wonder if he's gotten fat, bald, and married like most straight men do?

Monday, September 18, 2006

In Flight Knitting

Sin asked about my travel-knitting, so here's a picture of my WIP:


I started it on Thursday night, but did most of the knitting on the plane(s) and in the airport(s) on Friday and Sunday. I like the colors. I like the yarn, which is very soft (cashmere, merino, and microfiber). It will eventually look like these.

I am a slow knitter. Hopefully, I will finish the hat tonight or tomorrow.

Something important to note is that the knitting is not a good way to attract the hot, single, gay mens in the airports. However, it is a good way to attract the crazy older knitterwomen and the bored, unattractive married mens who want to talk about the wives and the crocheting.

Speaking of the airports ... do airport shops no longer carry gay magazines? Atlanta, Greensboro, Dulles, Cincinnati - none of their shops sold any gay mags. Very sad.

WTF Up With the Blog?

Hm. It seems I can view individual posts but not my main blog page. Is anyone else having this problem?

My weekend, once I finally arrived, was good. I tell you, I am NEVER flying that route again. As I told my parents, "if you ever want me to come back, you're going to have to reimburse me for the more expensive, more direct ticket."

My route was this: Silver Spring --> Dulles Int'l Airport --> Atlanta (connecting flight was over 2 hours delayed) --> Greensboro (spent the night at my brother's) --> Waynesville (3 hour drive from my brother's) --> Greensboro --> Cincinnati --> Dulles --> Silver Spring

I spent more time in transit than I did at my parents' house. Speaking of which ... here's the view from their deck:

NC view

And, here are two pictures of FrankenKitty Gertrude:



Isn't she precious?

OK. More later. And, don't forget, today is Meat-Free Monday. Do your part for the environment by enjoying a meat-free meal. *meat-free smooches* to all!

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Tired und Cranky

My flight arrived in Atlanta on time. But, my flight from Atlanta to Greensboro was delayed by nearly 2.5 hours. My brother and I decided not to drive to the parents' house tonight. We're going to get up early in the morning and drive the 3? 4? hours to Waynesville.

Here is a picture of me being cranky in the Atlanta airport. I hadn't eaten. My blood sugar was low. My head hurt. GAH!


Love Me. Love My Crankiness.

Now, I'm going to brush my teeth and collapse on the uncomfortable futon. Oh, joy. Oh, rapture.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Leavin' on a Jetplane!

Don't know when I'll be back again.

OK. That's a lie. I'll be back on Sunday at 11:12PM. Try not to miss me too much. I might be able to squeeze in a post or two from the parents' abode.

I'm all packed. I have new yarn. I have new needles. I have several knitting projects to work on. I have a magazine to read. I am charging the iShuffle right now. I am good to go. Yay!

*thinking positive*

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Attracting the Mens

As some of you may know, VUBOQ is journeying to NC this weekend to visit with the family. Oh, joy! Oh, rapture!

This trip involves considerable time in a couple of airports: Dulles and whatever the one in Atlanta is called [yes, VUBOQ has to fly to Atlanta then back to Greensboro. *curses the cheap non-direct tickets*].

Normally, when in the airports, VUBOQ has used a tried and true technique to attract the mens: VUBOQ puts on his headphones, reads his magazine/book, and glares at anyone who even *thinks* of approaching him.

For some reason, this technique has not worked optimumly.

TODAY, in fact, a few minutes ago, VUBOQ realized what he was doing wrong, why he was not attracting the mens in the airports:

He was not knitting!!!

Tomorrow, at the airports, VUBOQ will put on his headphones, pull out his yarn and needles, and knit a hat or scarf or something. The mens will flock to him like sheep to the slaughter!

HA! This VUBOQ, he is the genius.


Wednesday is laundry day. I did one load. I also figured out who is selling their apartment in my building. Fortunately, it's not the cute boy and his girlfriend (wife?). Yay. I was worried. Cute boys are not allowed to sell their apartments. If anyone is interested in being my neighbor, the asking price is $199,000. It's a 2-bedroom, 1-bath. Approximately the same size as mine, I believe.

I also finished knitting the Purple and White "Harry Potter" scarf for my brother's friend, who attended Furman University (and, thus, likes purple and white).

I went to bed around 10:30. I turned off the light, got in bed, put my glasses on the table, and laid down. Then, I started (nearly) hyperventilating. I don't know why. But, I had to consciously think about my breathing for a few minutes before it stopped and I could fall asleep.

I dreamed about John.

When my alarm went off this morning, I couldn't get out of bed. The rain, the dark, the cool air, the snuggliness of my comforter and my kitty were all conspiring to keep me in bed.

Now, at work, I feel like there is a band around my chest that keeps getting tighter. I wish I knew what was going on. It's probably a combination of job unhappiness, "relationship" woes, several approaching deadlines, and the trip to NC all balled into one throbbing mass of unpleasantness. *gah*

I need a drink.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Positive Attitudification

As some of you may or may not know, I'm going to London next month (woo hoo!). But, this entry isn't about that (I know. I know. I'm sorry. I promise LOADS of London-themed entries in the days to come! Promise!). Instead, I need to type a bit about my upcoming sojourn in Waynesville, NC.

I am not looking forward to it. Not at all. However, as Mike reminded me in an email, "try to remember that it's your choice about how you will think about your trip home. Bad thoughts will get you experiences you don't really want." Out of the mouths of babes, eh?

I need to think about this pilgrimage in a more positive light. I need to make a list of good things about my trip to North Carolina:

1. It will practically be over before it starts (I'll only be in NC from 9:30PM Friday - 6:00PM Sunday).
2. Maybe my parents will buy me things - like fun NC pottery.
3. Maybe my parents will buy me things - like fun NC fashion. *cough*
4. Free food. And, Mom is a good cook.
5. Cable (well, satellite actually) TV.
6. My brother will be there too. [Misery loves company]
7. My friend from college, Lori, will be driving down for dinner on Saturday.
8. It should be close to peak weekend for the Autumn foliage.
9. I'll get to see FrankenKitty Gertrude.
10. Did I mention free food and my parents buying me things?
11. Dad will reimburse me for the airfare.
12. Computer access.
13. I'm only working a half-day on Friday.
14. My brother is more naggable than I am.
15. I won't have to go back until Christmas.

Ah. The Power of Positive Thinking. I feel better already.

Election Results. Sort of.

With the giant mess that was my -and most of Montgomery County's- voting experience yesterday, I'm fairly sure that my vote has not been counted. I am not sure if it ever will be. Ah, the joys of the provisional ballot. BAH!

A few of the races still seem too close to call and, according to the WaPo website, many precincts still haven't reported their results [either that or the WaPo people are too lazy to update local election results].

As of right now, here are what looks to be the results for the candidates I voted for:


Democratic Primary: Governor/ Lt. Governor: Martin O'Malley/ Anthony G. Brown (unopposed)
Comptroller: Peter Franchot (36% of the vote)
State Senator, District 20: Jamie Raskin (67% of the vote)
House of Delegates, District 20: Sheila Ellis Hixson (19% of the vote), Heather R. Mizeur (22% of the vote)
County Executive: Ike Leggett (61% of the vote)
County Council at Large: Marc Elrich (14% of the vote)
State's Attorney: John McCarthy (68% of the vote)
Clerk of the Circuit Court: Loretta E. Knight (56% of the vote)
Sheriff: Raymond Michael Kight (48% of the vote)
Board of Education at Large: Shirley Brandman (59% of the vote)
Board of Education, District 5: Nancy Navarro (57% of the vote)


Attorney General: Stuart O. Simms (43% of the vote)
US Senators: Kweisi Mfume (38% of the vote)
House of Delegates, District 20: Gareth E. Murray (6% of the vote)
County Council, District 5: Hans Reimer (41% of the vote)

Too Close to Call:

Representative in Congress, District 4: Donna Edwards (48% of the vote, 75% precincts reporting, currently in lead by about 250 votes)

County Council at Large: Michael L. Subin (12% of the vote, 50% reporting, currently in 5th - top 4 move to the general election)

Can I pick the WINNERS, or what? *heh*

Late Night Ramblings

I hand-wrote this entry last night. I'd scan it in directly if a) I had a scanner and b) I thought you could read my hand-writing:

The disappointing realization that my life isn't a Hollywood romantic comedy hit me on the head like a banksafe dropped from a skyscrapper.

Recently, I've felt like I've been hanging in midair, in midsentence, in midlife, waiting ... waiting for the grand gesture - the hand slipping in to stop the elevator doors from closing, the out-of-breath "Wait!" as I start to get in the cab, the "Princess Vivian" yelled from the limo. But it's not coming. I knew it never would, but ...

I've still been waiting.

If only my life had been written by screenwriters and directed by Rob Reiner, no, Nora Ephron ... If only. Then, maybe my prince would come, would realize he done me wrong, would fall on his knees and beg my forgiveness.

I've been waiting. But it's not coming.

No flowers delivered to my office.
No chariot.
No horses.
No knight in shining armor.

There's only me, alone with my mask - the one I put on when I go to work, when I go out, when I see my friends. Sometimes, I feel like it's the only thing holding me together, and I will fall apart if I take it off.

Rcently, I've felt like I've been waiting ... waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think it did. And the thud echoes in the emptiness.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Veni, Vidi, Voti

I came. I saw. I voted.

I arrived at my polling site at 7:15 this morning. There was already a long line.

"What's taking so long," asked a woman behind me.
"I'm sorry," replied the harried volunteer. "The voter access cards for the electronic voting machines haven't arrived."
"When will the get here," asked someone else.
"The people at the Board of Elections say 'shortly,'" he said.

"Shortly." Mm-hm. In the meantime, every person in the line had to fill out an application to use a provisional ballot. You know, the ones 'they' don't count until a month later.

Help! Help! I'm being disenfranchised!

Later this morning, I will write a short note to the Montgomery County Board of Elections, expressing my concern that a) even with MONTHS of time to prepare, they still couldn't get their act together, b) all of us who used provisional ballots will have our votes accurately recorded, and c) commending the volunteers who were making the best of an unpleasant situation.

In the meantime, if you're interested, here's who I voted for:

Democratic Primary:

Governor/ Lt. Governor: Martin O'Malley/ Anthony G. Brown (unopposed)
Comptroller: Peter Franchot
Attorney General: Stuart O. Simms
US Senators: Kweisi Mfume
Representative in Congress, District 4: Donna Edwards
State Senator, District 20: Jamie Raskin
House of Delegates, District 20: Sheila Ellis Hixson, Heather R. Mizeur, Gareth E. Murray
County Executive: Ike Leggett
County Council at Large: Marc Elrich, Michael L. Subin
County Council, District 5: Hans Reimer
State's Attorney: John McCarthy
Clerk of the Circuit Court: Loretta E. Knight
Sheriff: Raymond Michael Kight
Board of Education at Large: Shirley Brandman
Board of Education, District 5: Nancy Navarro

And there you have it! I hope all both of my readers in Maryland and the District will get out there and exercise your constitutional right to have your vote misplaced and/or miscounted! Woo hoo! Democracy ROCKS!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Fighting Terrorists with Consumerism

or, I Beat Back the Islamofascists with a Great Pair of Mizuno Running Shoes (and I Got a Free T-Shirt)

On the evening of September 11, 2001, I decided I'd had enough of watching TV. My friend, Lyra, and I needed to buy new running shoes for our AIDS Marathon Training Program. We figured the store wouldn't be busy, which meant we could get more individualized assistance in the selection of our shoes.

On my walk to the metro station, the streets were deserted. The only other time I have ever seen rush hour streets in DC that empty was on Thanksgiving Day, when I had to make a last minute trek to my local Giant to buy coconut milk for my Traditional Thanksgiving Thai Green Curry. (What? No one else makes Thai Green Curry for Thanksgiving?).

The store was also nearly empty. I bought a pair of Mizuno Waverunners (mainly because Ichiro Suzuki -yum- was sponsored by Mizuno when I lived in Japan).

Only later, with a little prodding from our Commander in Chief, would the rest of the country understand that the best way to defeat terrorist influences was to go shopping and get great deals and 0% financing and make all your dreams come true!!!

Weekend Update: Apparently Making Happy Memories Includes Copious Consumption of Alcohol

As some of you may recall, I assigned homework this weekend: Make Happy Memories. Did everyone do it?

Friday evening, I met Darryl, Mike, Robert and Tomoko at Halo for happy hour. I wasn't expecting Mike to be there because he was supposed to meet a friend in Adams Morgan for dinner. After his first drink, he called and cancelled. We left Halo around 8 or 9(?) and went to Dupont Italian Kitchen [fondly referred to as "DIK"] for dinner. Then, we all went our Mary way home ... well, I went to Mike's house. I think we went to bed around midnight.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I had a horrible headachy hangover. What up with that? I don't remember drinking that much. I think I had two martinis. Darryl thinks I had three. Mike couldn't remember. I swear I only had two, because I distinctly remember thinking at one point in the evening that I would not order another drink after I claimed my "free" one [Happy Hour at Halo is 2-for-1]. Someone else ordered my second drink for me (I don't remember who), so maybe they ordered rail gin (*shudder*) instead of Sapphire?

Mike made a yummy breakfast - pancakes, eggs, veggie sausage, but played a mean trick on me. I took one bite of the veggie sausage and said, "Wow. It tastes like real sausage."

"It is," Mike replied, paused, and laughed at my expression.


I left his house around 2, got home at 3, and slept until about 4:30. By the time I got up from my nap, my headache was gone. Yay! I called Mike, and we arranged to meet at the Silver Spring Jazz Festival around 7.

That was fun. We wandered around Downtown Silver Spring, listening to the Jazz bands. We both bought new shoes at DSW. I got a pair of brown boots for $18! Woo hoo! Bargain! He bought a taco salad. I bought eggplant fries, and we ate dinner on the astroturf "lawn" in front of the stage. Later, we sat at a table in front of the still-under-construction fountain and people watched. He caught the bus back home around midnight.

Sunday, I spent the day lounging around ... I knitted - I'm almost finished with one Harry Potter Scarf! Two more to go by Christmas! I watched a few DVDs (nothing of note). Around 6:30, I met Mike in Silver Spring to go to dinner with two of his friends. They drove us to Udupi, a vegetarian Indian restaurant near Langley Park.

Admittedly, Indian cuisine is not among my favorites. I don't hate it, but it is usually not one of my first choices. Usually it's the texture I find unpleasant. A lot of Indian food seems to be a tad on the mushy side. As long as I steer clear of the mushiness, I do like the food - the flavors, the spices, mmm ... the cooling yogurty sauces. I had something with chickpeas (Maybe Chana Masala?). Quite good. And for dessert I had pistachio ice cream. YUM.

Mike's friends dropped me off at home around 10:30 and I went to bed soon after. All in all, a good weekend.

Today, I have to make some final decision about who I'm going to vote for in the primary elections tomorrow. I also have to figure out how to get to my polling site. I think I might do a little online yarn shopping as well. Must. Buy. Yarn. for. Christmas. Presents.

Oh, and I have to work on updating our training manual this week, too. *bleah*

Have a super groovy day, yo. *smooches*

Friday, September 08, 2006

Truly Happy

The other night I watched Harry Potter 3 for the umpteenth time. During the scene in which he's trying to learn the patronus charm. Professor Lupin tells him to think of a strong, happy memory.

That's when I started to think about what happy memory I would choose ... and, I realized that I can't remember any particular moment when I was *that* happy. I mean, I have happy memories, but I'm having trouble placing my finger on one in which I felt like joy oozed out my pores ... *heh* Y'know what I'm saying here? Happy enough to conjure a patronus?

On the flip side, I believe I can remember every single embarassing and/or painful moment of my life.

Why is that? Why do I remember the bad and forget the good? Is that how everyone's brains work? I wonder ... Can you remember a moment in your life when you were so filled with happiness you thought you might burst? Feel free to share ...

In the meantime, your homework assignment (and mine) is to go forth and create some happy memories this weekend!


Stupid Quirky Thing That I Do

One of many ...

Everytime I buy Kettle Chips New York Cheddar with Herbs, I giggle.

a) Because I always pronounce the "h," and
b) Because I always think of this.

Paralyzed by Indecision

I checked the RyanAir site again this morning, the bargain tix must be purchased by midnight Monday (UK time). I freaked. I almost bought a ticket to Dublin, but then I started looking at hotel prices. GAH! Expensive! I think budgetary constraints will keep me in London and Scotland. That will still be fun. The last time I was in Glasgow was in 1990, and that was for less than 24 hours. Plus, by staying a few nights with friends, I can spend more time toodling around, rather than spending my money on hotels. Win-Win, yo!

Mike came over for dinner last night. I cooked Thai food - green curry and a black-pepper encrusted pan-fried tofu. The green curry was hotter than usual. I used a different brand of curry paste, forgetting that this brand tends to be more hot. Oops. Still, it was delicious. The tofu was also good. I used a recipe I found online. This one. Mike said it was the best tofu dish he's ever eaten. I wouldn't go that far, but, still, it was yummy. And, relatively easy even though I have difficulty frying things. You would think given my Southern background, I'd be a master of frying. I blame my Yankee Mother. She can't fry food to save her life.

After dinner, we watched Poseidon (the 2006 re-make). It was good. Suspenseful. The acting was not all that great, but who ever watches disaster flicks for the acting [point of reference: Shelley Winter's "heart attack" in The Poseidon Adventure]?

Mike left around 9:45. He had to meet an out-of-town friend who was going to crash at his place. I cleaned the kitchen, talked to a friend in NC, and went to bed.

Plans for the weekend: Happy Hour tonight at Halo. Saturday, possibly spending some time at the Silver Spring Jazz Festival. No plans for Sunday. Hopefully, I will be seeing Mike either Saturday or Sunday.

Oh, and thank you to all who participated in my little poll yesterday. I appreciate your input. *smooches*

Thursday, September 07, 2006

London! Dilemma!

As some of you may have heard (and/or read), I'M GOING TO LONDON!!!! (from Oct. 7th-22nd).

I will be staying with my friend, and former co-worker in Japan, A-M. It's hard to believe I've known her for over 10 years (and we have been on speaking terms for *most* of those years)! Another one of our friends from Japan, D, moved to London last year with her boyfriend, so it will be a reunion of sorts - the three of us together again, drinking loads and ... well ... drinking loads more.

Today, I was checking the RyanAir site, and they have started a "free" flights [+ taxes/fees] campaign! I was thinking about flying up to Glasgow to visit Bellringer Mike while I was there. A RT ticket on RyanAir would be about 30GBP [I'm not sure of the exchange rate right now, but I guess that would be between $50-60?].

BUT, here's my dilemma, I've been to Scotland before. It would be great to see Mike and Matt (assuming they have moved there by then ... he's still waiting on his paperwork, I think). However, there are LOADS of cheap flights to other cool places - ROME! DUBLIN! PRAGUE! The mind boggles!

I would love to go to Dublin! I could read Ulysses on the way (and while) there! I could drink Guinness! In the Land of Guinness! Oooh. So exciting!

So, my people, what would you do? Here's a little quiz, feel free to leave your answers in the comments below:

Q: Where should VUBOQ go during his fantastic 2-week vacation to London?

a) Visit Glasgow only
b) Coordinate a London-Glasgow-Dublin-London trip
c) Visit Dublin only
d) Visit some other exciting and exotic locale
e) Stay in London

Please bear in mind when answering that in London and, possibly, Glasgow, I have free places to stay. Given my finances, any trip will only be for a few (possibly 4) days.

The Summer of My Discontent

All week, I've been meaning to take a moment, pause, breathe, and reflect on my summer. Then, GayProf writes a witty post on his Summer goals/accomplishments. So, now, if I do what I had planned, I'll look like a Big Post-Idea-Stealing-Copying Schlub. *sigh*

Earlier this morning, I re-read how my summer began (this entry and this one, in particular). Probably not the best thing to do first thing in the morning. I'm a little choked up - remembering the Cheating Cheater and reading all the sweet comments everyone wrote.

I'm left feeling a little empty and no longer reflective. Some things are best not remembered, at least until the distance of time has dulled the sharp edges.

Since I'm stealing from GayProf, I may as well steal from another great writer ...

IT WAS the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way ...

more later. *smooch*

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

I Don't Believe I've Mentioned This Week That I'm Going to LONDON!

During my lunch break, I stopped by Borders to "purchase" a new London guidebook (pictured). After redeeming my Borders Reward Certificates, I ended up paying $0.95. I hope it's worth it! Ha!

Seriously, I love the TimeOut guidebooks. Quirky. Fun. Good advice on all sorts of things. And, unlike Lonely Planet guidebooks, the maps tend to be accurate. I swear, the Lonely Planet cartographers must draw the maps drunk. Or high. Or both. Either that or at some point between publication and my trips, entire buildings move several blocks, crossing roads, rivers, and railways. Tricky bastards to plot, those moving buildings.

ANYWAY, I've been to London enough that I don't need to see the typically touristy stuff. I like guidebooks that highlight out-of-the-way interesting little spots, like medical museums or the Ragged School Museum.

Next on my travel planning agenda is figuring out when -and for how long- I want to go to Scotland. I'll need to pick up one more guidebook for that, I think. Fortunately, I have some unused Barnes and Noble giftcards. YAY for free books!

DHL. Express Delivery to Hell

When I got home from work last night, there was a DHL Express Delivery Envelope by my door.

"Hm. I wasn't expecting anything," I thought. I bent down to look at the address - "Albert Adams. 8702 Manchester Rd."

Let's review: My name is not Albert Adams. And my address? It's 8722 Manchester Rd.

I guess 8702 is a bit further up the road? I have no idea.

I called the toll-free number on the envelope (not that it actually was "toll-free," since I had to use my cell phone). There was no "Your Stupid Driver Delivered the Envelope to the Wrong House" option on the phone tree, so I kept pressing 0 until I was able to speak to a live person.

"May I have your phone number please?"
"No. Your driver delivered an envelope to the wrong address."
"And your name?"
"Steven. But, my name isn't in your system. Your driver delivered an envelope to the wrong address?"
"Your. Driver. Delivered. An. Envelope. To. The. Wrong. Address."
"Oh. I see. Is there a tracking number?"
I read it off the envelope.
"Well, it says here that [someone's name] signed for that envelope."
"Great. I don't know who that is. And I'm not the addressee. And it's not my address."
"Oh. OK. I'll schedule someone to come pick it up within the hour."
"Good. I'll leave it in the outside door, so the driver won't have to bother me to get it."
"Thank you for using DHL."

About thirty minutes later, I see a DHL van in the parking lot. 5 minutes later, the van is still there. Then, my phone rings. It's the door intercom.

Me, saying, "You delivered that envelope to the wrong house. Please take it to the correct address."
"Thank you for using DHL."

Trust me on this one people. I will never use DHL.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Shelf of Tacky Things from Around the World

Marve asked for a picture of my Musical Chairman Mao Cigarette Lighter. Suddenly, I remembered that I had an old picture of the Shelf posted on my geocities site. Here it is:

This is a fairly old picture, so several things have been added to the Shelf, but what you can see here (from left to right, sort of):

2 sets of Chinese "healthy balls" *heh*, Pope John Paul II snow globe, Mexican stone donkey, Mexican painted armadillo, NYC cab/snow globe, black Egyptian bird-thing, Eiffel Tower, Mao Lighter, Myrtle Beach (SC) thing with dolphins, Sardinian mushroom toothpick holder, Kali finger puppet, Thai lip gloss container (I guess), Miami (FL) thermometer/snow globe, pottery penguin (my pottery teachers 3 year old made it for me), San Francisco trolly pencil sharpener, Greek Ouzo (not drinkable!), Costa Rican vegetable cart, Che and Fidel, Uruguay musical flute-like thing, Thai clay turtles, Portuguese Lucky Cock *heh* "cock," Chinese magnifying glass.

The picture? Those are the Davis Cousins at Matthew's (the youngest cousin) wedding. Guess which one is me (not the one in the dress)!

Judy in Disguise

(with Glasses)

Self with Glasses

Since I spent the night at Mike's on Saturday and Sunday, I didn't take out my contacts for nearly 3 days. My eyes? They are red. Today, I'm giving them a break by wearing my supercute glasses (from SEE).

I have worn "corrective lenses" since I was in the 2nd grade. I began wearing contact lenses my freshman year of high school. Three years ago, I decided to give my eyes a break and wore glasses full time. I went back to contacts a year later.

Anyway, I am totally loving the green cotton sweater I'm wearing. I bought it from J. Crew a few months ago in their super summer clearance sale. I think it was less than $20 ... possibly around $12. Super!Cute!


More Southern Than Brad! Ha!

Brad, over at Southern Expressions, had this dialect quiz posted. Here are my results:

Your Linguistic Profile:
45% General American English
40% Dixie
5% Upper Midwestern
5% Yankee
0% Midwestern

I blame the 5% Yankee on my mother (she's from Massachusetts).

Meat-Free Monday: Oops Forgot a Photo Edition

I hope everyone enjoyed a Meat-Free meal yesterday (I know you did, Marve! *smooch*). I didn't remember until after I had eaten Monday night that it was Meat-Free Monday. I blame the holiday. My dinner was quite simple. I made a sandwich - heirloom tomatoes, avocado, and mixed greens on seven-grain bread with a rosemary butter spread. Yum. I made the same sandwiches for our Sunday picnic. Surprisingly delicious. Although the rosemary butter wasn't as flavorful as I had hoped. Next time: more rosemary!

I received a package from Jay! Yay! It was full of tacky Australian tourist crap! Woo hoo! Fun things for my Shelf of Tacky Things from Around the World* (currently still in a box somewhere, eventually, on display in my "office, currently storage room"). I will try to take a picture of the GOODS tonight (if I remember), but there was a little wooden boomerang, a beer hugger, and a itty bitty koala bear. ALSO, there was a big hat-cum-cat toy. [*heh* I just typed "cum"]. I still have to figure that one out ... but it's a big floppy hat with this test tube stopper-like things hanging off of it. Isabella was going batshit crazy playing with them last night. Too funny! Perhaps, Jay will be willing to explain ... Many, many thanks and lots of *smooches*

Not much on the agenda today. Depending on the weather, I might go to a happy hour in the District. I really don't want to venture forth into the rain though. If it stops, I'll go.

Hm. I wanted to blog about something else, but I've forgotten what it was. Alas. Maybe more later. *smooch*

*I can't quite remember how this Shelf started ... I'll have to pull it out at some point to see if I can remember what the first thing was. Quite possibly my Chairman Mao Musical Cigarette Lighter. The Rule of the Shelf is that, no matter how tempted I might be to buy myself the London Double Decker Bus snow globe, I can not buy anything for the Shelf. Everything on the Shelf must be a present. It's kind of fun to see the tat my globe-trotting friends bring back. Among my favorites: the Pope John Paul II snow globe from my cousin and the mini Fidel Castro and Che Guevara clay figures from Tomokito. I do have a few things on the Shelf which I purchased; however, those were before the Rule of the Shelf was formalized.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Labor Day Update

I'm at Christal's. After checking her mail and watering her plants, I uploaded a few photos from our picnic yesterday. Here's a quick rundown of my Labor Day Weekend activities:

-Left work at 4:30.
-Happy hour at Tapatinis (Open bar $25 from 5-8)
-Drank 5.5 martinis. *oog*
-In hurricane force winds, went to Mike's house.
-Watched TV.
-Decided to leave around midnight. (why? I have no idea)
-Trip home in hurrican force winds. Not fun. Took forever.

-Saw The Illusionist with Mike. Very good. Highly recommended
-Walked around the Mall with Mike.
-Ate dinner at Jaleo with Mike.
-Went home with Mike.

-I got a package! I got a package! Thanks Jay! *big smooches*
-Picnic in Rock Creek Park with Mike, Tomoko, and Dennis. FUN!
-Went to Be Bar (brand new gay bar near Mike's house).
-John, the Cheating Cheater was there.
-Ignored him.
-Went home with Mike.

-Slept in.
-Mike made breakfast tacos.
-Came to Christal's.

No other plans for the day.
Will head home. Sit on sofa. Knit and watch DVDs.

Here's a cute photo from the picnic:

picnic 004

Friday, September 01, 2006

It's 3:33

The sign of THE BEA*!!!

*I can explain this if anyone needs.

I can leave in an hour. Please. Send help.

So I Was Counting the Ways I Admire GayProf When ...

I got to 2,539 and my pen ran out of ink. It's a good thing, because my hand was starting to cramp. There are just too many. Too. Many.

Now, I'm listening to my J-Pop collection. FUN. How can you not love the line "give me smile and shine day?" Hm?

The rain still falls.
The wind still blows.
We are still going to Happy Hour.


To Tapatinis. They have a $25 all you can drink happy hour from 5-8 [so ... hrm ... should that be a Happy Three Hours?]. The cool thing is that high call likkers are included. Woo hoo!

I'll need to have at least 3 martinis to get my money's worth.

Unfortunately, quoth my friend, Darryl, who is also coming to the happy hour,

"Martinis are like breasts. 2 are just right. 3 are too many."

To which VUBOQ adds,

"and 4 are fantastic!"

Not that I would know, having never known the love of a woman ... let alone a three- or four-breasted one. I'm getting a little silly now. I think it's Friday-itis, combined with my giganto lunch.

I'm trying to eat all of it so that I don't get all martini-sick later on this evening. Must. Maintain. Control.

Especially, since there is the opportunity for red. hot. luvin'. later.

Mmmm. RHL. Mmmmm.

Yume yo asaki yume yo watashi wa koko ni imasu.

Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

I'm beginning the long, slow descent into Boredom.

It's raining (Thanks, Ernesto! Love you *air kisses*). It's cold.
No one is calling. No one is IM'ing.
Everyone has left for their fun fun holiday weekend vacations.
And, I'm here. All by myself.

Well, not really ... I'll probably be letting everyone go around 3. I may make an executive decision and shut down the hotline around 4 or 4:30.

I think I'm going to have Baja Fresh for lunch today - Veggie Burrito, Enchilado Style!


I need entertainment.

Slightly Overhung

It's always that *last* drink, isn't it?
I met Robert for an impromptu happy hour last night at Halo. I had 2 Sapphire Martinis, straight up and dirty (just the way I likes it). Then, even though I had all the intentions of going home and fixing dinner, Robert somehow convinced me to go out to dinner at Logan Tavern:

Robert (holding gun to VUBOQ's head): Come out to dinner or DIE!

Now, for what really happened ...

VUBOQ (slightly intoxicated after 2 Sapphire martinis, straight up and dirty, just the way he likes it): Mmm. I could really go for some mashed potatoes.
Robert: Let's go to Logan Tavern.

It was at Logan Tavern, where I had the Negroni of Doom. I love negronis. They are full of gin and bitter ... like me! Negronis are usually my Autumn Drink of Choice. They seem Autumnal, with their red color and bitter aftertaste. Mmmm. Bitter.

I also had two sides: garlic mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli. YUM. Then, we had dessert: blondie sundae. YUM YUM YUM!

I went home afterwards.

This morning, I look quite cute :-) I'm going out with Mike tonight. YAY. Hopefully, there will be some red-hot luvin' later! *heh*

Meanwhile, a pussy lips update: My lovely photo, cleverly titled Pussy Lips, has received 288+ views in the past week. If you google, pussy lips, it's the third link! Don't believe me? See for yourself!

I am loved.