Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Bad Poetry Afternoon!!!

Let the joyous news spread throught throughout the land! It's Bad Poetry Afternoon here at VUBOQville!

Please leave your original bad poetry in the comments. There are no rules other than they should be godawful! Have fun!

Here's my contribution (possibly more to come):

A Poet -Meaning VUBOQ- Uses His Very Nearly Consumed Lunch As a Metaphor for His Life
Bits of pasta swimming in olive oily pesto
Slightly hardened by reheating
Bell peppers
Veggie Italian Sausage
Farts in the making.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Update: So far, people, I am underwhelmed. Here's another poem, inspired by an article in the WaPO ...

A Foie Gras ban?
Where are we?
Or Iran?
Pity the poor
Who craves
The liver of a duck
Force-fed grain
from a truck.
Animal cruelty?
Who gives a fuck?


Thank you. Thank you very much.

Updated Update: Not another poem (I heard that collective sigh of relief!). I just noticed a typo in the first line. GAH! Have I not visited this page like 8 GABILLION TIMES today? GAH! Silently slinks away...


  1. "Ew" is not a poem.

    Unless ... wait ... you are using "ew" to express your revulsion with (to?) society as a whole. Then, maybe, I will accept that as Bad Poetry. Perhaps if you come up with a title.

  2. Ew

    Walking with VUBOQ
    Hot moist stillness of the air
    Wrinkle nose and glare

  3. 'Underwhelmed' he said
    Just see if I play again
    In his reindeer games

  4. Bah!

    i step forward. Bah!
    i step back. Bah!
    i move left. Bah!
    i move right. Bah!
    Bah! Bah! Bah!
    I stepped on shit.

  5. Here...

    Steven’s whiney
    And a bit limey,
    But never slimy!

    Was that bad
    Or sad...
    Maybe just a tad?

    Happy now?!? Is this bad enough for you... that was the best I could do so quickly!!

  6. Who is this "Steven," I wonder?

  7. vuboq the great
    vuboq eschews meat
    he won't eat moose
    and doesn't know fois gras is goose!


  8. This is uncanny! It reminds me off something I was chuckling about today.

    In the UK lots of shops that sell delicate things, such as glass or china wares have a sign up that says something like:

    "Nice to touch,
    Nice to hold,
    If you break it,
    Consider it sold!"

    So you see what they've done there? They've pleasantly warned you through rhyme that if you smash it, you have to pay for it. Not difficult to understand.

    This lunch time I went to a shop here in Brisbane, and the sign said:

    "Nice to touch,
    Nice to hold,
    If you break it,
    You must buy it"

    Mr. Chung, the owner, should win your poetry award. Post it to me and I'll pass it on!

  9. Dykewife: But "goose" doesn't rhyme with "fuck." Poetic License, it's all about poetic license.