Vibrant.(Still) Unrepentant. Badass. Old. Queer

Hi, Kittens! It is that time of year again - Tax Time!  I did my taxes this weekend.  And, since I recently donated to the Washington Animal Rescue League in honor of Miss Psychokitty Isabella's 14th birthday, I will more than likely be donating 10% of my refund to Food and Friends and/or the Whitman-Walker Clinic . Those of you who are loyal reader-kittens of this blog, may remember that I have challenged you to donate at least 10% of your tax refunds in previous tax years, and, then, rewarded one lucky Challenge winner with a piece of my pottery.  This year, since no one really reads blogs anymore, I will send a piece of made-to-order pottery* to any kitten who donates 10% of his/her refund and emails me proof that the donation has been made.  Please, when you send your email proof, include any pottery/design/color preference.  If you need my email address, leave a comment to let me know. Of course, since the pottery is made-to-order, you may not get...

Good morning, kittens! I am sitting here staring out the window wondering if those are actually snow flurries I'm seeing or if it's time to schedule an eye appointment. I love my occasional Monday off :-) My weekend was full of not doing much. On Friday, after work, I stopped by the Whole Foods and picked up a frozen pizza and some pistachio gelatto (and a box of wine and some bourbon from the likker store). I ate pizza, drank wine, and watched "Horrible Bosses," which had a few laugh out loud moments ... so I give it 3 stars! Saturday, I went for a 5 mile run. I set a couple PRs: Fastest 5K (25:38) and Fastest Mile (7:54). I also have run 100 miles since getting my new Nike+ GPS watch for Xmas. When I got back, I borrowed K-Factor's blender and made a green smoothie: I used some of my credit card points to buy a new blender (it is small, only holds 14 oz) and zhuzher. As soon as I get them, I am totally going to zhuzh some soup! Then, I finished my taxes! ...

Good Afternoon, Kittens. I am back at work (yay) after an exciting day off yesterday. How exciting was it? Let's see ... I woke up yesterday morning feeling a little out of sorts. And that's when the explosive liquid poo started. Plus vomit. Joy. Needless to say, I called out sick. And, this was my day: 1. sleep in bed. 2. bathroom. 3. sleep on sofa. 4. repeat. Sometimes, just to mix it up, I'd reverse the order: Sofa, bathroom, bed. Around 4PM, I decided to have some veggie broth. Tasty. Later that evening, my parents called with sad news. My 39-year-old cousin had a stroke and died. Pretty shocking. And he leaves behind a 13-year-old son. Poor kid. I can't say I'm all that torn up about it because (1) I'm not close with that side of the family and (2) I'm an insensitive, unfeeling bastard. This morning, I felt better (not 100%, but well enough to come to work). As I was getting ready for work, I had a shocking realizat...

And the lemon flower is sweet. But the fruit of the poor lemon Is impossible to eat. I grew up with Peter, Paul and Mary, listening to their albums on the first piece of furniture my parents bought as a married couple - an RCA stereo cabinet. That cabinet is in my living room now. When I lift the lid, I can smell the memories, and I'm back in our house in Murphy, flipping through albums ... Neil Diamond, Barbra Streisand, The Sound of Music , until I find Peter, Paul, and Mary . Green carpet. Plaster walls. Sooty fireplace. And the lemon tree. Peter, Paul sans Mary and the world is a little more empty. In other news, Boozy Lunch with Ms. Bluestocking was quite fun ... and boozy. I got to find out all about her hot new burning hunk of love. Plus, she read over my short story and gave some input on how to resolve the issue I have been having. I came home and took a nap. Wine at lunch time can do that to you. Before lunch, I mailed the two cute little baby hats I knitted re...

Good Morning, Kittens! Not much happened in Vutopia yesterday. I applied for a job (yay). I spent an inordinantly large amount of time prepping for our monthly Co-op board meeting, which ended up being quite short. We only have one major issue to decide and we still need a little more information. Carolyn stopped by prior to the meeting to pick up her prize for winning the 10% Refund Challenge drawing: I should've taken her picture posing with the plate, but I didn't think of it at the time. Oh, well. She also shared some unpleasant news: A former co-worker of ours committed suicide last month. I only worked with her for a year or so before she left for a better job, so I didn't know her very well. Still, it is sad. Couple that with a woman who I knew while I lived in Japan recently passing away from cancer, and it makes me wonder who amongst my outer periphery of friends and acquaintances will be next... Fortunately, I don't consider my blog readers and friends ...

Good Morning, Kittens! How's work? Get into a petty argument with the co-worker in the next cubicle who insists on smacking his gum like the overweight cow he is? Things here in Unemployedlandia are peachy keen. I sent out two resumes yesterday, and I'm going to work on a couple of government applications later today. First, I have to venture forth into hip and happening downtown Silver Spring. I received my final (*sniff*) paycheck and my "bonus" for working until the end of the contract yesterday, so I need to go deposit them. Here's a fun fact: Did you know bonuses are taxed at a higher rate than regular paychecks? Don't believe me? Here's a little proof: The federal tax on my regular paycheck (which is nearly double the bonus) was $208. The federal tax on my $1000 dollar bonus was $100 $208 $250! Fuckers. Mmm. Hmmm. After all the taxes were taken out, my $1000 bonus was actually a $594 bonus. Woo. Hoo. I shouldn't complain. Any bonus i...

In the tradition of an even greater blogger than I , since it's Tuesday, I'm going to take this opportunity to teach you something. Or not. Whatever. First, a little quiz (because you know how we LURVE quizzes) ... The photo is of: (a) bell peppers (2) cashews (iii) Paris Hilton (D) all of the above The correct answer is ... (2) I first saw actual cashew fruit when I was travelling in Thailand in the late 90s. Having been an avid reader of National Geographic's World magazine during my formative years, I immediately pointed them out to my travelling companion, "Look, the ground is littered with cashews! Try not to step on them, because uncooked they can be a skin irritant!" We dutifully avoided smashing the cashews on the ground ... but I still managed to burn the soles of my feet later on the SuperWhiteHot sand at the beach. Gah. Thailand was lovely though ... *sigh* I wish I were there now ... instead of at my desk eating leftover cashews from last night's...

My camera batteries finally charged, so here's the exciting finale of our Tax Day Extravaganza: The WINNARZ of the Poor Bastages Who Owe the Tax Man Pity Party. First, the entrants: All the names were put into the Official Non-Sponsor Bazura Bags Recycled Juice Boxes Bag: And, FIRST Prize goes to ... [drum roll, please] ... Congratulations, ANGIE !!!! *w00t* And, SECOND Prize goes to ... [drum roll, please] ... David ! YAY! Congratulations! Please email [environy(at)gmail(dot)com] your mailing addresses and (eventually) you will receive your SuperFantastic Yet-to-be-determined Prize Packages! Thanks for playing, and we are all really, really sorry that you had to pay taxes this year. Srsly. *smooches*

Good Evening, Kittens! The drawing for the winner(s) of the 10% Refund Challenge has just taken place! I know you are excited to find out who will be receiving the fabulous yet to be determined prizes!!! First, I wrote all of the 10% Refund Challenge participants on slips of paper: Next, they were folded in half and placed in a small bag made from recycled juice bags from Bazura Bags (not one of our sponsors). I reached in ... and the 1st Prize Winner is ... [drum roll please] ... Mel! Yay! Congratulations! But, wait! There's more! I decided to have a 2nd Prize Winner ... And, the 2nd Prize goes to ... [another drum roll please] ... Dorothee and Jay! YAY! If you would email me [environy(at)gmail(dot)com] your mailing addresses, I will send you your fantabulous prize packages (as soon as I figure out what they are going to be)! Thanks to everyone who participated in the 10% Refund Challenge . To me, and the charities to which you donated, you are ALL winners! *smooches* Stay tun...

Can you feel the excitement? It's palpable! In about 4 (or 5) (or 6)* hours, one of these lucky (and generous) people will be winning a fabulous prize of a yet to be determined nature: - Earl Cootie - Mel -Julia -SCGB - Eight Lives Left - Dorothee and Jay - kmkat AND, one of these unlucky people will also be winning a fabulous prize of a yet to be determined nature: - Someone in a Tree - Angie - Sticky Crows - Biddy -Heather Outside Boston OMG. I can barely stand the suspense! Who will win? WHAT will they win? Only the Shadow knows fer sure. *maybe 7

As you sit there, rumpled, in need of a shave, surrounded by adding machine tape* and coffee-stained files and chewed pencil erasers and forms with odd names like S-4B/2104: Withholding Allowance for Pet Apes Who Eat Only Organic Bananas, and you're thinking "Where in the hell did I put that Organic Banana receipt," there is a bright spot, a beacon of hope. There! On the horizon! Do you see it? Glistening in the distance? Beckoning you to move towards the light? What could it be? You squint, and, yes, it's ... it's ... It's the Last day to enter VUBOQ's 10% Refund Challenge ~or~ the Poor Bastages Who Owe the Tax Man Pity Party ! You have until MIDNIGHT TONIGHT to either leave a comment or email. There will be prizes and fun! And, most importantly, dogooderyness !!!! Don't wait. Enter NOW!!! Drawing to be held April 15th (possibly around 7PM). Employees of vuboq.blogspot.com not eligible to win. *and the children born after 1985 think "What?"

Last night, after folding all my laundry, I invited a few neighbors (DUN, SCGB, Tomokito) down to help me perfect the drink recipe I created for the Helix Lounge Spring/Summer Cocktail Contest . After a little trial and error (and a lot of gin), I think I hit upon a winner. The suckiest thing is that, since it's Alcohol-Free April, I couldn't sample my own creation. Poo. I emailed my recipe to the bar this morning. If you'd like to play along, email me (or leave a comment) and I'll send you the recipe. The drink, which I have dubbed the Blueberry Collins , is a lovely purple color and is YUMMY (or so I am told). And that's all the news that's fit to print. More later. *smooches* PS. Don't forget you only have a few more days to sign up for the 10% Refund Challenge or the Poor Bastages Who Owe the Tax Man Pity Party ! Fun! Prizes! Dogooderyness!

I know some of you are dreading the Ides of April , BUT there is something to look forward to! On the Evening of April 15th , the Winners of the 10% Refund Challenge *and* Poor Bastages Who Owe the Tax Man Pity Party will be announced! [Fantastic Prizes still TBD.*] Of course, there is still time to sign up for either FUNTASTIC drawing. You must email me or leave a comment on my blog by 11:59PM EST April 14th . Although not a requirement, it would nice if you told me to which organization(s) you are donating (so I can provide that organization a little linkyluv). So, far the Good People of Vutopia have donated to: Campus Cats Care Food and Friends Kiva Medical Students for Choice Operation Migration Ornicus Seva Foundation Washington Animal Rescue League Keep up the good work :-) *smooches* *Is it my fault the kiln is broken? Is it? I think not.

I was drinking expensive vodka up until the very last minute last night. And, now, no more booze until May. Thanks to all of you who have agreed to be Alcohol-free in April with me. We can do it ! Also, don't forget you only have two more weeks to sign up for the 10% Refund Challenge or the Poor Bastages Who Owe the Taxman Pity Party ! Enter now for the chance to win fabulous (TBD) prizes! Drawings to be held on April 15th. Finally, on a sadder note, after much thought and serious contemplation, I have decided I will be giving up blogging after the 10% Refund Challenge is over. I have enjoyed getting to know all of you, but the mental toll this daily exercise takes is just too much. "I want to see mountains again, mountains Gandalf! And then find somewhere quiet where I can finish my book."

Behold! Vases! and Mugs! These are the four objects I finished on Sunday (and, finally, got around to uploading the photos). My favorites of the four are the tall vase and the mug on the left. I think I might give Y that mug for his birthday (assuming it is finished in time). Perhaps some lucky 10% Refund Challenge / Poor Bastage Who Has to Pay the Tax Man Contest participant will win one of the others? Hmmm ...

I am beginning to realize that the only way Martha Stewart can keep her house looking spotless is with her staff of thousands. I, on the other hand, have a staff of one [two, if you count the Psychokitty, but usually she is more of a cleaning hinderance than cleaning help]. Project Cleanliness is Next to VUBOQliness is bordering on dismal failure. It worked for awhile. But, then, life, as it tends to do, got in the way. Pottery class started, which means that my Monday cleaning doesn't usually happen. And not getting to bed until late on Monday night means I am too tired to clean on Tuesday. And, on Wednesday, the neighbors all gather around the Magic Glowing Box to watch Project Runway , which doesn't end until late, meaning I am too tired to clean on Thursday. Suddenly, it's the weekend and nothing has been done. *sigh* Today, even though I am tired to the point of my fingers hurting slightly as I type, as Gawd as mah Witness, I'm going to pull myself up by my...

Look over there --> Three people (so far) have participated in the 10% Refund Challenge!!! *w00t* And, two poor bastages are entered in the "We Owed the Tax Man" Pity Party! You can play too! Donate 10% of your refund to the charity/charities of your choice and let me know. If you have to pay, you won't be left out ... drop me a line and I'll put your name in the hat for a separate drawing! Yay! Last night, I completed my 10% challenge by donating to a very worthy organization, Medical Students for Choice . Considering that more medical students learn about Viagra and hair replacement than providing the full range of reproductive healthcare, I think it's money well-donated. I also put some money into my Pax World Roth IRA and opened up an ING Direct 6 month CD (3.65%). In these uncertain times, perhaps it is best to squirrel away the extra cash for a rainy day rather than spending it on frivolous things. OK. I admit it. I did set aside some of my refun...

In case you missed the lunar eclipse last night, here's a photo taken with my digicam ... It's towards the end of the eclipse, which, btw, was pretty cool. I hope you caught it. The PR4 Reunion Show was a lot of fun. Big laughs. Good times. No one got drunk and sloppy though. Darn. In other news, after much consideration, I have decided that, in addition to the 10 % Refund Challenge , I will have a separate contest for you poor schlubs who have to pay the Tax Man. I mean, after writing a big ol' check to the guvmint, you should have something to show for it, right? Well, you'll get to show everybody your name ... over there --> AND, you'll be entered into a drawing for a FABULOUS (tbd) PRIZE! woo hoo! Good luck, Refundless Masses. Sucks to be you. I guess that's it for now ... more later. *smooches*

Friday night was rather uneventful, so we'll skip right over it and move directly on to Saturday. Saturday morning, I did my taxes. And, for those of you, like me, who have to pay PMI*, we must give Congress a big SMOOCHY thank you, because ... PMI is NOW DEDUCTIBLE! Yes, kittens, yes, it is. I checked to make sure in my March issue of Kiplingers . It almost makes having to pay stupid PMI to the blood-sucking mortgage companies worthwhile. Almost. So, this year, VUBOQ is having Super-Happy Refund ! YAY! We *heart* Super-Happy Refund ! * super-happy refund booty dance* (_\_) (_/_) (_\_) (_/_) doot doot doot. doot doot da doot doot. Now, I'm sure you are asking yourself, "What is VUBOQ going to do with his Super-Happy Refund ?" I'm so glad you asked. I'm going to put most of it in savings and my Roth IRA! YAY! PLUS, and here's where you come in, starting today, VUBOQ issues forth his 10% Refund Challenge ! VUBOQ challenges everyone who gets a refund this ye...

And, so, it seems, does the Neighbors Will Hear . He got all the correct answers on the photo quiz yesterday. Congratulations! For the rest of you, here are the answers: 1. Pier 1, 2. Whole Foods (mmm. cheese) , 3. Whole Foods, 4. Borders (although "outhouse" was a good guess Clio Bluestocking ) , 5. Pier 1, and 6. DSW. Now, wasn't that fun? I was chatting with this guy last night, and he suggested that the Rudy Giuliani Countdown to Victory *giggle* calendar is a Collector's Item and that I should run back out there to buy it. What say you, Loyal Blogreaders? Perhaps I could make it a prize in my next Blog Contest? My evening was quite exciting. I surfed the web, watched a movie, and then went up to Tomokito's for margaritas ... which Across the Hall from DUN made. They were ... strong. Such boozy goodness. Mmmm. We watched two hours of PR4 reruns, ate chips and salsa, and drank. YUM. Tonight, I have a lot of paperworky things to do - pay a few bills, enter data ...