Vibrant.(Still) Unrepentant. Badass. Old. Queer

Hey, kittens. I've added a new blog to my roll [over there -->] that you should all go read. It's dorky. It's funneh. It's blocked by the Evil Firewall of Doom because it's (not) a gaming site. It's PUNTABULOUS . In other exciting news, Jeff sent me an LOLlink which I forgot to forward to my work address, but, using my AMAZING internet searching skillz, I found! YAY ME! LOLCat Bible Translation Project Here's Genesis 1 . And, the SuperEvangelical's Favorite, John 3:16 - So liek teh Ceiling Cat lieks teh ppl lots and he sez 'Oh hai I givez u my only son and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k? ...the Word of Ceiling Cat for the People of Ceiling Cat* Thanks be to Ceiling Cat.** *This is what my dad used to say after he read a bible passage in church ... except he didn't say "Ceiling Cat." **This is what the congregation would say in response ... except we didn't say "Ceiling Cat," either.

Some of you may remember the Summer VUBOQ-Gazing Chart . Now, submitted for your Autumn VUBOQ-Gazing Pleasure: Scary, huh?

The great expanse of the weekend stretches before me with nary a plan nor a scribble to be found on my calendar, which is kind of sad in a way, but also one of those fantastic challenges that I sometimes adore: How to fill my days with stuff to do and not go stark raving mad! MAD! I tell you. Tonight, I may open up Bar Vuboq for the neighbors (if any of them are around). The Washington Post had an article the other day about stocking your bar for the Winter , and the drink with which the author begins the story, the Stinger, sounded inexplicably yummy: 1.5-2 oz cognac and 1 oz creme de menthe, shaken over ice, served with a twist. I am thinking of attempting to make those this evening. And, perhaps, knit. And watch DVDs. I have both of Clint Eastwood's Iwo Jima movies, Flags of Our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima . I thought it might be interesting to watch them both, seeing as how they view the same battle from different perspectives. Not that I really enjoy war movies all that...

(Not the rest of the Ture Story , that's finished, over, done, kaput! ... This is the rest of what I did yesterday, because I know you all find my life terribly exciting and you wish you were me, and, if I didn't tell you what I did yesterday (and this morning!), you don't know how you would be able to continue plodding through the drudgery of your lives ... or my life ... whatever.) Yesterday, I did laundry. I ate soup. I knitted the Never-Ending Afghan of Doom. I watched Hollywoodland . [Adrien Brody is *so* dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeamy.] I drank a bit too much wine. I went to bed. This morning, I came to work. I blogged. I went to the bank. I deposited my check! I made a donation at Heifer International in honor of Pacalaga . $100 sure does buy a lot. I bought honeybees ! and a couple of seedlings ! and a part of a knitting basket ! Perhaps, you, too, might want to consider making a donation . A little good goes a long way. I told Y that I would go to some LGBT event at UMD ...

As some of you may know, about 8 (ack!) years ago, I spent 3 months teaching English at a small private junior college on the outskirts of Beijing. As part of the teaching program, I required each student to keep a journal. They had to write in it at least once a week. I would collect the journals on Friday, read them over the weekend, and return them on Monday morning with corrections. I was always amazed at how well these students (even the ones with limited English) could express themselves. However, every. single. one. consistently made the same two spelling errors. At first, I tried correcting the errors in their entries and hoping they would catch on. They didn't. A more drastic approach was called for. One Monday morning, after handing back their journals. I wrote the following on the blackboard in huge letters: TURE "What is that word," I asked. "TRUE," my students replied in unison. "No. You are wrong. It is TURE. TURE is not a word. Ple...

Several weeks ago, I received a letter from the management company of the apartment complex where I used to rent. The letter stated that I was entitled to a refund of my deposit. All I had to do was fill out a (simple) form and mail it to them by mid-Decemember. Well, VUBOQ may be more pretty than thinky, but he ain't no fool. Even though I have a vague memory of receiving a refund of my deposit when I moved out (over two years ago), I thought, "What the hell" and sent in the form. Today, the check arrived. TWO HUNDRED FORKIN' DOLLARS!!! Suh-WEET! And, on the spur of the moment, this is what I decided to do. 1. Put $100 into my recently opened ROTH IRA (Pax World Fund Balanced! 8% Annualized Return! Socially Responsible Investment Company!), and 2. (this is where you, the reader, come in), Make a $100 contribution to a charity the first commenter chooses * . So have at it. Someone leave a comment. *subject to VUBOQ approval because I's not gonna gives my fr...

VUBOQ, the Queen of Ass Forking, bids you a Happy Afternoon and hopes that a Martini is in your (or at least, His) Very Near Future Love, Your Royal Heinie

And, thus, it is Wednesday, the day in which VUBOQ, the Queen of Ass Forking (as proclaimed by the Gods of Google) [and, look, I made my new title work-safe . Am I not the most Benevolent Queen EVAR?], must do laundry. Comments made to VUBOQ, the Queen of Ass Forking, today have included: "Wow. You look nice today." and "Are you going out after work?" and "Holy Cow! You are smokin' hot! No wonder you are the Queen of Ass Forking!" Ok. I made up the last one. But, the other two, are, like, totally ture* . TOTALLY! It made VUBOQ (the Queen of Ass Forking) think two not entirely random or unrelated thoughts: 1. Maybe I should've put the Styling Goop™ in my hair this morning and I would've been totally CUTER (if that's even possible).** 2. Perhaps I should reconsider the wisdom of wearing the exact same sweater two days in a row. People do seem to notice what one is wearing.*** *I could've sworn I've blogged about "ture" (and ...

Can I tell you how much I love teh Google? Can I? Can I? Can I? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE? I love Google THIS MUCH !!! [PS. I hope you don't get fired for clicking on that link at work.] Meanwhile ... The date last night went well. We ate soup ( this soup ). It was fabulicious. Then, we watched Bride and Prejudice . Love that movie. I could tell that he wanted to get a little makeyouty on the couch, but I didn't go there. At the end of the movie, I sent him home with a hug and a "let's do something again sometime." He's cute. Short (like 5'6"?). Young (30?). Slightly chubby. But, still ... cute. My biggest concern, and the one that is preventing me from exploring anything deeper than friendship with him, is that he is a big ol' closet case. I mean, bigger than I am. At least, I am out to all my friends here and most everyone else (sans the parental units). He isn't out to anyone. I'm not even sure if he has any gay friends. ...

Actually, that should read "City Name that Makes Me Giggle" because I've only thought of one ... so far: Yogyakarta, Indonesia I'm sure it's a lovely place. I think it's the "yog" that makes me smile. I'm going to try to think of some others ... feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments. *smooches*

I wasn't planning on eating this for breakfast, but my co-worker, who went to Peru over the Thanksgiving Holiday, brought in some Peruvian Candy (from Peru!) that contained coca (COCAINE!!!), and it tasted like ass . *gag* Fortunately, another co-worker, who went to the Cheesecake Factory over the Thanksiving Holiday, brought in some Chocolate Cheesecake (from the Cheesecake Factory!) that contains cocoa (CHOCOLATE!), and it does not taste like ass. *w00t* I feelz a leeeetle Kweezy. In other news, I went to the pottery studio after work last night. Only one of my vases was out of the kiln, so I glazed it. Then, I went over to Y's. It was fine. We talked a bit. He worked on a chapter of his dissertation while I knitted. I went to bed. He stayed up 'til 4. I couldn't sleep. I had very angry dreams. Internalized rage is all the rage. Srsly. I feelz a leeeeeeetle tie-tie. The good thing about pottery class next session is that a friend will be in the class with...

Thursday night at the Thai Curry Party, Kristi, one of the upstairs neighbors, brought a game to play, Catchphrase. It's similar to Taboo in that you try to get everyone on your team to guess a certain word or phrase without using that word or phrase. During one of Y's turns, he started giving the clues, "it's a bird, "it symbolizes peace," etc. etc. etc. Everyone was guessing "dove." Nope. The word was pigeon . Yes, the Pigeon of Peace. It made me laugh. Although, someone said that doves and pigeons are actually the same species. Not sure about that though. Is there an ornithologist in the house? Earl Cootie ? Anyway ... Friday and Saturday, I did a whole bunch of sitting on the sofa knitting and watching DVDs. *woot* I also cleaned (a little), made a quick trip to the grocery store, cut back the chrysanthemums, covered their stubby little stems with compost, and ... um ... did I mention knitting and watching DVDs? Saturday night, Tomoko,...

... or do they have a store in Quebec?

Avert your eyes! Another knitting post and mathematics lesson rolled into one! Let's say you've started a knitting project for an afghan. And, let's say that afghan has become the Never-Ending Afghan of Doom! *scream* Here's a quick and easy way to finish before you know it (or at least get a heckuvalot closer to finishing it than you thought you ever would)! First, imagine the pattern calls for seven (7) balls of yarn, six (6) of the main color and one (1) of the contrasting color. You receive the yarn in the mail and discover that (a) you hate contrasting color and (b) you hate even more how the contrasting color looks with the main color. So, you decide to only use the main color. And, voila! , you are *already* 1/7th (or 14%) done! Without even having to cast-on! Then, you knit and knit and knit and knit and knit and knit ... until your brain starts bleeding, because garter stitch on really big needles is really boring. And this yarn isn't the most co-opera...

It's been lovely. Last night was a lot of fun. In all, 9 people were here, all of my upstairs neighbors, plus Jerry and his friend and Y. The curry was excellent (if I do say so myself); the beverages free-flowing; and the conversation was good. Jerry and his friend left around 9:30(?) and, then, the rest of us played this game called "Catchphrase." I guess everyone (except Y) left around 11:30. I managed to get the house relatively clean and the dishes (mostly) done by midnight. Then, I went to bed. It was very nice to sleep in this morning. And I worked on making my Friday plan a reality: I got up, made coffee, and spent the rest of the day on the sofa watching DVDs (in particular, Project Runway Season 1). Y was trying to do work while I was watching PR1, and, at one point, closed his laptop and said, "I can't do any work with the TV on." "OK," I replied and continued watching TV. He packed up his stuff and left. I'm not really sure what he...

A little over an hour before the Thai Curry Thanksgiving Partyers begin to arrive. I'm all set. Once the rice is done, I'll fix myself a pre-party bowl of curry. Mmm. Hopefully, it will be edible. In the meantime, here are a few things I'm thankful for (other than the usual: friends, family, and a roof over my head): alcohol (mostly because it dulls the pain) ... Isabella ... creativity ... free time ... thinkiness ... and much, much more. For those of you who are celebrating today, hope it is/was good and stress-free. Mmm. Rice is ready.

Yeah, so the Fork Me! Lego Man* was a tad on the creepy side. So, here's SuperCute Me and the Fall Foliage! Suck it, Princess! Meanwhile, I have nothing really to blog about other than I'm bored and I have somewhere between 8 and 13 people coming to my house tomorrow and I've realized that (a) I may not have enough rice [Fortunately, Tomokito may let me have a bit of her rice stash] and (b) I have no non-alcoholic beverages. I guess I'll be running to the store on Thanksgiving morning, b/c I sure as heck ain't going there tonight (Can we say MADHOUSE?). Either that or non-drinkers (what up with that?) will have to make do with water. I also bought some two-bite brownies for tomorrow. They are sitting here. Beside my desk. Calling out "Eat me, VUBOQ. Eat me" with the quiet desperation of two-bite brownies who want to be eaten. Now. Must. Resist. *Maybe this one is a little better?

I'm listening to my AlphaList CD now (ok. Actually, it's 2 CDs, because only A through R would fit on the first CD), and it ROCKS! You know you want it. And you know how you get it? Do you? You beg and plead and offer me all sorts of sexual favors. OR ... You make an AlphaList CD of your own and send it to me. Check out Goblinbox's post for all the details. So far, I think I'm exchanging CDs with Chelsea, Sassy, and Goblinbox. Is that right? Hm. The CD seems to be skipping during some songs. WHY? I may need to reburn it. You can reburn CDs, right?

I had all sorts of plans when I got home; however, none of them really materialized (except for the drinking the martini part ... which could have been part of the problem). I was going to take photos of things for which I am thankful and do a FUNtastic photo essay this morning. Didn't happen. Suck it, princess. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow, when I'm bored and alone and drinking myself into my Traditional Thanksgiving Stupor™, before the participants of the Return of the Traditional Thai Curry Thanksgiving arrive. Plans for today include final grocery shopping, buying more booze (it's not for me, really), laundry, bank, taking out the compost and recycling, and clean clean clean clean clean cleaning. Fortunately, our boss is letting us leave at 3PM today. *woot* Addendum: Mel , I *heart* Bette Midler's Cool Yule . *Thank you, Only Me , for the fabulicious phrase.

The other day (OK, like a month ago, and I forgot to provide linky goodness then), I learned a (semi-) long, lost friend of mine is blogging. She's superfun and a great writer. [She just needs to update more than once every 2 weeks or so. What? You have a life? I'm sorry, that's no excuse, missy. And, oh em gee, we need to hang out!] Pop on over to Love, Lorelai to say hi. If you're lucky, you may stumble across the blog of one of my exes. No, I'm not telling which one. Treat it like a scavenger hunt ... the really hard kind without any clues. Have fun. ... and VUBOQ goes back to ripping and burning ... and being fabulous. *smooches*

I am, like, totally, bored, and my, um, brain feels ... stuffy. But, I am feeling compelled to blog ... about nothing in particular. So here is a list of Christmas Albums I own and will be ripping into iTunes tonight: Cool Yule --Bette Midler White Christmas --Bing Crosby The Christmas Album --Neil Diamond Christmas Ecstasy * --Peter Kater Christmas Around the Country II --Various Artists Spirit of Christmas --Chuck Brown Handel's Messiah ** --London Symphony Orchestra and Chorus I think I need more Xmas Music! MORE! *I, um, hate this CD. I may decide to burn it. In the microwave. **I'm pretty sure this is actually more of an Easter album, but I like to listen to it at Xmas. Sosume.

Mai noo shooz. They r hertin' mai feets.

I realized that some of you may be relatively new to reading this little corner of the intarwebez and, thus, may not grasp the extreme cultural significance of the dates of the Global Blogger Meetup, March 16-18. A few of you came close, realizing that March 17th is Saint Patrick's Day. However, something much more auspicious happened on March 17th ... The world was blessed with the presence of ME. VUBOQ. The Wonderful. The Kind. The Giving. And it has never been the same. It's been much, much better. Trust me. So, if you decide to join the Meetup, you will also get to celebrate the anniversary of my birth. What could be more exciting than that? I have no idea. Lessee ... in other exciting news, I made more Spicy Chinese Noodle Soup last night. I have been feeling a bit under the weather. *cough* *hack* I feel a bit better (of course, I went to bed around 9 last night), but still a little like I'm on the verge of being worse. I am loading myself up with vitam...

Mush, over on the 'box, had this idea of making Alphalist CDs and sending them to each other. I managed to cobble together a list just now. I haven't listened to it all the way through, so I may make some changes before I burn it and send it to her (hm. I've never burned a CD. How does one do that?). Anyway, if anyone else is interested in participating, go to Mush's blog and leave a comment. Also, let me know if you're interested in receiving my CD ... Here's the first few songs on my Alphalist: A utomatic (Album Edit), by Utada Hikaru (Japanese) B elieve, by Cher C innamon Girl, by Prince D arshan, by B21 (Hindi?) E lang, by Dewa 19 (Indonesian) ... And much, much 21 more ...

2 tins of green curry paste 2 cans coconut milk (none of that "lite" crap, either) 2 blocks of tofu mushrooms (straw mushrooms if available) baby corn limes lemons organic rustic bread (sliced! yum!) cheese vitamin C tablets munchies - pretzels? chips? olives (OMG! Olive Bar!) something desserty? Singha beer It's the return of VUBOQ's Traditional Thai Green Curry Thanksgiving Evening Party !!! YAY! Be there. Or be with other people eating, like, turkey and sweet potatoes and stuff. PS. I bought a new pair of shoes this morning. *woot*

The ENTIRE KNOWN WORLD is going to descend on Vutopia ... Or at least a couple of bloggers from the Land of Oz . Mark your calendars, and head to the DC/Metro Area for a celebration of EPIC proportions March 16-18, 2008. So, my weekend was good. Friday night at Mike's was fun. He made yummy vegetarian pizza. And, then, we watched PR4, Episode 1. Saturday, I blobbed. I started a new chili vodka infusion. I cancelled my date. And I cooked a yummy dinner. Y called and came over. We talked and watched movies. We did not have teh secks. Sunday, he drove me to the pottery studio, where I trimmed a vase and picked up one finished vase (see previous entry). Then, I went home and started to feel yucky, like I was coming down with the ague. And, no one likes to come down with the ague. So, I took several multivitamins, drank lots of grapefruit juice, and made a couple martinis. Soon, I was numb and happy. I feel better this morning, so it must've worked. And, that's ab...

I went to the pottery studio this afternoon to trim my final vase and glaze my penultimate vase. The trimming went well. See: It will now need to be fired, glazed, and fired again. The other vase was not out of the kiln, so I'll need to go back at some point to glaze it as well. I also picked up my fourth vase. This: Became this: The vase is about 6 inches tall. Please ignore the messy apartment. More photos of vase und pussy are on Flickr. Clickr . oh. and I did this last night, thanks to a link provided by Earl Cootie : It's me. Only crazy(er) looking.

So, I've been doing a little on-line stuff for those of you who are dying to know all about Chelsea Clinton and her sweet potatoes, and I came across this article: Hail to the Chef It wasn't hard to find. It was, like, the third link on Google. And, while it doesn't share a recipe for Chelsea Clinton's Sweet Potato Casserole Thai Soup, there is a bit of a SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT ... If Chelsea Clinton is a vegetarian, this chef is thoughtless and cruel (or this isn't really how he made the soup): Scheib recalls Chelsea Clinton's decision to become a vegetarian when she was a senior in high school. "Mrs. Clinton knew (Chelsea) would be going away soon, so she asked me, 'Can you give her some cooking lessons?' So she spent a couple of hours, a couple or times a week with us, learning about cooking, and about (being) vegetarian , that it doesn't mean just eating vegetables." One dish that Scheib taught Chelsea to make was sweet potatoes with a ...

*thinking of silly things* Is it Go Home Time yet?

After sending an email this morning regarding this evening's events, I get a text message from Mike asking me if I could arrive early. Of course, I say I can, and then my mind starts processing all sorts of loopy possibilities ... Why did he send it by text message? Why didn't he simply reply to the email? Why does he want me there before everyone else? To help out? To yell at me? To pass on secret information? To pump me for information? WHY? The mind boggles. I wonder ... I wonder ... PS. Let's hope it's for the ... er ... "pumping."

This wasn't my idea: If it's too hard to read, try this one on flickr . In other news, the Beaujolais Nouveau gathering was a lot of fun. Yay. I'm a little draggy and overhung this morning. My weekend plans thus far include finally watching the premiere of Project Runway Season 4 (PR4) at Mike's tonight with Tomokito and SCGB and a second date with the guy I met for breakfast last Sunday. I may be going to the pottery studio as well at some point but that's still TBD. More later, kittens.

Crackers and cheese. Crackers and cheese. Must only buy crackers and cheese. Crackers. Crackers. Oooh. Chocolate. On sale! My favorite, Green & Black's Organic Chocolate 2 for $5. Savings of $0.69 each! EACH! Must buy two. Ginger chocolate. Red wine and dark chocolate. 70% cacao. Is that good? Buy it anyway. It's for the guests. Ginger chocolate is for MEEEEE ( for *us* precious )! Crackers. Crackers. Crackers. Water crackers? Too breaky. Rosemary crackers? Too over-powering. Have Ritz at home. TLC crackers? Too small ... hmmm ... Entertainer Crackers! Ooh! That's me! An Entertainer! Just like Barry Manilow! With Wheat Germ! Healthy! At the Copa. Copacabana. Cheese. Cheese. Hello, Olive Bar! Mexican olives? No. Greek olives? No. Cute little baby pickles? No. My resolve is strong. Ooooh. Olives with Herbs de Provence. Yes. What? No little olive containers? Guess I'll use a big one. Mmm. More olives. Oliiiiiiiives. Chees...

... is the question I get asked whenever I wear this sweater: Here is my response: [PS. That's a joke. I know the Redskins are a basketball team.]

For those of you who don't know, the 2007 vintage of Beaujolais Nouveau goes on sale today (or, more accurately, went on sale -in some places- at midnight). From the wikipedia entry : Beaujolais nouveau is a red wine made from Gamay grapes produced in the Beaujolais region of France . It is the most popular vin de primeur, fermented for just a few weeks then officially released for sale on the third Thursday of November. This "Beaujolais Day", or "Beaujolais Nouveau Day" sees heavy marketing from the producers, with races to get the first bottles of the vintage to different markets. For the past 6 or so years, I've had a small gathering of friends over to drink beaujolais, eat cheese, and make happy talk. I think there's something comforting about people all over the world drinking the same wine on the same day. This year will be no different (yay!). Several of my neighbors will be coming over tonight. Hopefully, a fun time will be had by all. Here...

After a disappointing, foggy, drizzly start, this day is turning out to be quite lovely: See the pretty blue sky? See the Church steeple? See the Autumnal foliage? See the empty parking deck? No? Blame my crappy cellphone camera.

'Scuse me while I bitch 'n' moan for a quick minnit. One of my co-workers called in sick today, which means more work for me and shorter breaks. Boo. Hiss. Project Runway Season 4 premieres tonight, and a certain upstairs neighbor (who shall remain nameless, but here's a hint: Her name starts with a "T" and rhymes with "Romokito") spent all her money on a pair of Manolos and not on purchasing cable. Boo. Hiss. The shoes are fab, though, so I can't be too upset. Son of Stich 'n' Bitch is the only "men's" knitting book that Borders had on it's shelves. No Knitting Man(ual) . No Knitting with Balls (*heh*). No Um... Something about men knitting and dogs . Boo. Hiss. So, I flipped through the Son again and counted how many patterns I would be willing to make no matter the difficulty. Out of 45 patterns, can you guess how many? 5. That's it. And, really, only one of those is mildly exciting (For those of you with the ...

Yesterday, at work, I started craving soup. As I sat in the comfort of my cubicle, I tried to remember what I had in my cupboard (which is a really weird word). All I could remember was a can of beans and a can of diced tomatoes with chilies. After much thought, a brief conversation with a friend of mine in New York (who is an American Culinary Institute graduate), and a trip to the Whole Foods, here's what I came up with: VUBOQ's Bowl of Soup Ingredients: 1 can of black beans 2 cans of diced fire-roasted tomatoes with chilies 1 onion 2 cloves garlic 1 zucchini 1 cup corn 2 cups okra 1 cup (ish) orzo 3 cups water 1 vegetable bullion cube bread sharp cheddar olive oil Instructions: In a large pot, add a splash of olive oil. Saute the minced garlic until aromatic. Then, add the diced onion. Cook until softish. Add 2-3 cups water and the bullion cube. Bring to a boil. Add the diced zucchini. Add the cans of tomatoes and beans (juice and all). Return to boil (well, more like a simm...

These: Became These: A few more photos added to my Pottery Flickr Set. Check them out here: Clickr .

Comes all those weird google hits for Chelsea Clinton's Sweet Potato Casserole Recipe . I get at least two or three hits a week for people looking for Ms. Clinton's (apparently scrumptious) sweet potato casserole. Those hits will increase as the holiday season approacheth. So, here is my annual announcement: I do not have Chelsea Clinton's recipe for Sweet Potato Casserole. After getting over a gabillion searches for it last year, I actually tried to get it for you people. Really. I did. I have a reporter friend who is assigned to the Hillary Clinton beat. I asked him to pass along a request for the recipe. No dice. I asked him again this year, but Hillary seems to have gone on Press Lockdown after her semi-disastrous debate experience. But maybe this will tide you over ... Not Chelsea Clinton's Sweet Potato Casserole (I think it's my mom's ... but it could be someone else's) (6-8 servings) Ingredients: 4 medium sweet potatoes 9 oz. can of crushed p...

Last night was my last pottery class. *sniff* We still have 2 or 3 more weeks of open studio to finish our last projects. Last night, I glazed a vase, trimmed another vase, and threw a new vase. So, I'll have a few things to do in the coming weeks. I got two finished vases and a "handleless pitchery thing" back last night. You'll have to wait until later for photos, but here's a cameraphone sneak peek: Go ahead. Tell me I'm brilliant. [For reference, the vase is about 5 inches tall. Clear matte glaze on the bottom, cobalt blue on the top.] Not much new to report. I did spend the night at Y's. We did not have sex. In fact, we won't be having sex again. Exhibit A: The Conversation VUBOQ notices small bottle of Gun Oil (a type of personal lubricant, not the brand we have used in the past) on Y's nightstand. Sayeth VUBOQ: "Gun Oil? Have you been having guests?" Y: *nervous giggle* silence. The end.

I was kind of excited yesterday when I stumbled across a blog post about a new Stitch 'n' Bitch Book especially for the menfolk, Son of Stitch 'n' Bitch . During my lunchbreak, I wandered over to Borders for a quick looksee. My overall impression: Mostly * meh * with some * bleah * and one or two * ewwwws * and -unfortunately- only a few " ooh, I'd make/wear thats ." Sadly, most of the " ooh, I'd make/wear thats " looked too difficult for l'il ol' me. And, really, I am *so* over the Stitch 'n' Bitch skull fetish. OK, actually, I've never been into stuff with skulls. So not me. Skulls don't say "hip." They say "dead thing on my sweater." Yuck. Maybe I'll wander over again at some point to spend a little more time with the Son. However, it's not going to be a priority. I applaud the effort of putting out a book just for the menz, but I'm not going to buy it ... I wouldn't give it back ...

*bored* Bored, bored Bored-Bored Bored Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored Bored Bored Bored 3 (bored bored) bored Bored. Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored Bored bored. *bored* Bored bored bored, Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored Bored Bored bored bored "bored" bored bored BORED bored bored bored bored bored bored. Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored boredboredboredbored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored ... bored bored bored *bored* bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored (bored bored) bored. Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored. [Bored bored. Bored bored bored bored.] Bored bored, BORE'd BORED, Bored, bored and Bored bored bored Bore'd bored bored bored bored bored bored. Bored bored bored. Bored bored. Bored bored bored. BORED. Bored bored bored bored ... bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored Bored bo...

*ahem* So, my Do-Nothing Friday Night turned into a fun evening of drinks and Project Runway Season 3 (on DVD) with Tomoko. It also turned into a very hungover Saturday morning. *oog* Needless to say, I did not make it up to Whole Foods to say "hi" to the WARL people and ask about kitty adoption. I did make it there in the afternoon to buy some bread and to pick up my coat from the dry cleaners ... speaking of which *grrr* there is now a button missing from my new (to me) coat. I need to haul it back up there at some point to see if they have the button. [Not today. I was feeling lazy.] Saturday evening, DUN's SCGB, Tomoko, and I went to Mike's house for a little dinner party. It was nice. Good food. Mike made brownies. YUM. I drank too much ... but was surprisingly not all that hungover on Sunday morning. For my date... Yes, I had a date. We met for breakfast (which, admittedly is *not* the best time to date a VUBOQ). But, the date went well. I think ...

And I have no plans for a fun-filled Friday night. As it looks right now, after work, I'm going to swing by the cleaners to pick up my new (to me) fabulicious pimp daddy vinage coat (eBay! $9.99!). Then, I will park myself in front of the TV, knit, surf the innartubez, and eat leftover Chinese Spicy Noodle Soup . The DVD I have is Snakes on a Plane . I've actually been saving it to watch this weekend. Is that sad, or what? Saturday, I'm going to head up to Whole Foods to talk to the Washington Animal Recsue League (WARL) people. They've recently rescued over 100 small breed puppies from a puppy mill in Virginia. I would *LOVE* to adopt one (Cairn or Yorkshire Terrier), but I don't have the time/patience/living arrangement that is conducive to being a responsible dog owner. I will drop off a little donation for the sweet puppies though. I also want to talk to them about getting another kitty. Psychokitty Isabella sometimes seems a little lonely. I think she might li...

OK, BOSSY . This is for you!!! *smooches* Step 1 : Gather the ingredients. Pictured (Clockwise from top right): Konbu (Japanese seaweed), Cellophane Noodles, Bok Choy, Mushrooms, Rice, Nasty Old Onion, Mystery Chinese Sauce, Firm Tofu [You could also use Extra Firm, but it tends to be more expensive], and a Granny Smith Apple (What's that doing there?). Step 2 : In a large pot, boil 6-8 cups water with the konbu and the sliced onion (peel and all) and throw in a veggie bullion cube if you want. I read in my new (to me) cookbook, How to Cook Everything , that when making a broth it's ok to use the veggie skins. I thought I'd try it out with the nasty old onion that was in my fridge. Mmm. Broth making. And, yes, that is an Elvis Presley Blvd. sign. I use it to keep the cat from jumping up and turning on the stove (yes, she's done that before. PyroKitty!). Step 3 : While the broth is boiling, prep the veggies. Wash and slice the Bok Choy. I only used a little over half of...

In response to this post , the SuperFabulicious BOSSY (Have you voted for her for Funniest Blog, yet? If not, go now . I'll wait) asked for the recipe. So, here goes ... VUBOQ's Nearly Perfect Manhattan 2 oz. bourbon (or 2.5 ... or 3 ... or the bottle) 0.5 - 1 oz. sweet vermouth A couple of dashes of Angostura bitters. Shake over ice. Strain into chilled martini glass. Garnish with cherry . How do you make VUBOQ's Perfect Manhattan ? Make it in Manhattan ! Oh, and if BOSSY was referring to the Spicy Chinese Noodle Soup recipe, I'll post instructions tomorrow (I don't follow a recipe, so I'll have to figure it out).

Forget the dry skin, the chapped lips, the shivering, the chattering teeth, the oh-so-charmingly purple fingernails . All that is NOTHING, because I Got Da Sheets!!! The Winter Activity Polar Bears Flannel Sheets, no less. I went home for lunch and made my bed. I can't wait to go to sleep tonight!

I was planning on walking to the post office this morning to mail off a few packages. However, it be cold. And I don't wanna go outside. [I also have been a bit busy this morning answering email inquiries, but that wasn't what kept me from going.] I am such a wuss. On the bright side, it's inspired me to make yummy Spicy Chinese Noodle Soup with Bok Choy and Mushrooms. And Tofu! Mmmmm ... With Rice! (and speaking of rice ...) Last night, I did three (count 'em, THREE) friggin' loads of laundry. And, I still have another load that I couldn't motivate to do. *sigh* Tomoko came down for drinks and conversation around 9. Yay! We had Manhattans. Mmm. And that's about it. *smooches*

You know what VUBOQ is tired of seeing? Can you guess? Give up? All right, I'll tell you: Your friggin' camera and/or your sorry, cheap ass cell phone. Go to almost any luv connection website, like gay.com, match.com, etc. etc. etc., and I gua-ran-tee you will see forked up bathroom photos like this: [Photo taken expressly for the purpose of this post.] [VUBOQ should've folded his towels more neatly before taking this.] You will not see my camera in any photos ... because I know the secret . And I am willing to share. At no cost to you. Are you ready? Do you think you can handle it? TURN YOUR FORKIN' CAMERA AROUND!!!! *sheesh* Every camera has those little viewscreens. Line yourself up in the screen by using its reflection in the mirror. And, you'll get this: [Much better, no?] [Oh. Em. Gee. I am *so* CUTE!] And, while I'm ranting ... Do you only have ONE mirror in your house? Branch out. Use your bedroom mirror! Or the one in the hall! Or the one in the liv...

Here's a fun vocabulary game that also feeds the hungry . Go. Play it now .

As most of you know, I planted chili peppers this year, approximately 16 plants. Only the 4 I put in a planter filled with compost actually produced anything ... and their chilies were (a) tiny and (2) spicy ... which I suppose is a good thing. Those 4 plants are *still* producing. I tired of picking and stringing and drying the damn things, so I haven't harvested anything recently. The other twelve plants, suffering from poor soil and irregular watering (oops. my bad), whithered away to nothing. Thus allowing me to christen my garden the Chili Pepper Graveyard. However, one plant in the graveyard has managed to not die. I'm not sure how. I stopped watering it months ago. It's actually looking quite healthy and has loads of tiny green chilies on it. I'm wondering now if they will redden before it gets too cold. Probably not. Maybe I should pick them green? AND, in other bright Graveyard news, some of the slug-infested chrysanthemums are starting to bloom again. I forgo...

Earlier this morning, I had an amazing idea for a blog post ... you know, even more amazing than my regular this-is-what-I-did-and-you-all-should-be-insanely-jealous-of-my-fabulous-lifestyle posts. Un fortunately, I booted up my work computer, got sucked in to watching the Project RunGayBoys' latest post , about their trip to NYC to see a show featuring three looks from each Season 4 designer, and completely forgot what I was going to write. Instead I'm going to babble for a few moments about nothing in particular. It's laundry day. I'm wearing uncomfortable underwear, because I have no clean clothes. I remembered a few minutes ago that I was planning on participating in NaNoWriMo, but that doesn't seem to be happening. Maybe if I buckle down and put myself on a schedule of some sort. Ha! Like that will happen. I'd also like to thank Dykewife for the fabulous house-heating package I received two days ago. It was filled with all sorts of Canadian goodies,...

New DESK, Kittens! Put it together meself, I did. Well, with a little help from our friend, Mr. Martini. Now, must make dinner. Mmm. Dinner.

This: Became this: And here's a happy threesome: Clickr here for the Flickr Set . Time to head back to work. *ugh*

Before you email an advertisement for your bar, don't you think you'd want to have someone check over it? Especially if it's going to be sent to hundreds of bitchy queens (or just one bitter old one)? Be: Stripped. Be: Bad Spellers . We now return you to our regularly scheduled blog.

And all of it must be genuine. Srsly. Here is a cell phone pic of the second pitcher I made: I am loving the blue glaze. Not so happy with the insipidy green. [For perspective, it's about 4 inches tall. Edited to note: Official measurement = 4.5 inches.] And, lucky you, this is just a teaser. I have two more completed objects that I will photograph and upload when I get home from work today. OK. On your mark. Get set. Flatter me shamelessly! *smoooches*

I received this spam email at work a few minutes ago: hello again [my work email redacted] the simple answer is, your penis is way too small [link removed] Rosemary gultane And, srsly, Rosemary, I think most of my partners would disagree ...

Surprise! It's a (just a year or two late) house-heating present from one of my most favoritest Canadians (after Anne Murray , naturally)! Can you guess who sent this: Sadly, there were no hot muscly Mounties in the box. *sniff*

Should I toast my cheese sandwich or not? Lunch is in 5 minutes ... so HURRY!

Ah. The long, cold slog up the hill to my office, and here I am, back at work. *bleah* On the bright side, greeting me at my desk was a bag of YARN! Beautiful, beautiful yarn in the color butternut. Now, I can start on the promised, long-awaited Harry Potter Gryffindor scarves for two dear friends who live far, far away. And, then, I can use the leftovers to finish the Oscar Project . So, hopefully, by Christmas, two friends will have warm necks, and one cute shelter puppy will have a warm place to sleep. Yay! Of course, that all depends on my finishing the Never-Ending Afghan of Doom and the First-Ever Cable Knit Scarf for two other friends' Christmas Presents. Meanwhile, my weekend was chock full of fun and excitement, especially if one defines chock full of fun and excitement as "spending lots of time on the sofa watching TV, knitting, and surfing the innarwebez." Friday night, Tomoko and I met Mike at Halo for happy hour. It was not a happy hour. Halo has ...

Neither Isabella nor I have spent much time off of my super comfortable sofa. Mmm. Sofa. Mmm. Booze. Mmm. Knitting. Mmm. Harry Potter. Is it nap time yet? PS. What is it about cats and paper grocery bags?

It's the recap you've all been waiting for - VUBOQ Does New York! I arrived at Penn Station a little before 3PM. I had to take the subway to Alison's office to pick up her apartment key. Then, I headed to her fabulous apartment in the Upper East Side. I spent the rest of the afternoon wandering through Central Park. Hot men! Jogging! *woot* Later, I met Jake for dinner. We went to an Indian restaurant, Haveli . It was OK. The pistachio ice cream was yummy, though. Mmm. After dinner, we went to a bar, Eastern Bloc . Very cute. Soviet-era decor. Decent happy hour drinks. Yay. The next day (Halloween), I went down to Lower Manhattan to see the sights - Trinity Church, the New York Stock Exchange, the Federal Reserve, etc. etc. etc. I also stopped by Century 21, the discount store. Ack! Shopping stress! People who wouldn't get out of my way. It was not a fun time. After checking out the World Financial Center's big glassed in pavilion, I headed to SoHo to meet Jake for ...