Vibrant.(Still) Unrepentant. Badass. Old. Queer

And, they [the parents] are under strict instructions to only phone me on my work number if it's an absolute emergency - like death and/or dismemberment. I have a cell phone. It is almost always with me. People can reach me on that. And, then, if the conversation gets a little too personal, I can leave my cubicle and talk outside. As we say here in Cubiclelandia, the Cubes have Ears, and I really don't want them listening in on my business ... kind of like what I'm doing to my co-worker right now.

Because VUBOQ's evening was rather uneventful [I did laundry! I drank a Tom Collins! I knitted! I chatted with Y! I talked to friends!], VUBOQ is going to tell you a story: VUBOQ and the Scary Elevator Ride from Hell!! (ooooh) Once upon a time, today in fact, VUBOQ went to work. Here is a bird's eye view of his office building: VUBOQ works on the 6th floor of his SHINY! building: SHINY! but not NEW! (Do you see me waving?) Anyway, on this superhot, sticky, 1 Gabillion degree morning, VUBOQ sloshed into the main lobby, just missing an elevator. VUBOQ hates the rude people who see someone coming into the main lobby but don't hold the elevator doors. So, VUBOQ pressed the UP button and waited. And waited. And waited. After many, many hours, an elevator finally arrived. VUBOQ entered and pressed "6." Up, up, up went the elevator. All the way to the 10th floor. Without stopping on 6. On the 10th floor, the elevator paused and down, down, down went the elevator. All...