Friday, January 26, 2007


A few days a little quiz popped up on Tuna Girl's blog. More recently, it appeared on Scott-o-Rama. Here's the quiz:

Here’s how it works: You don’t have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine. (Not per incident!) Tally up your score and post it on your blog with the title… "My Fine Is…”

Smoked pot — $10
Did acid — $5
Ever had sex at church — $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace — $25
Had sex for money — $100
Vandalized something — $20
Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10
Beat up someone — $20
Been jumped — $10
Crossed dressed — $10
Given money to stripper — $25
Been in love with a stripper — $20
Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
Ever drive drunk — $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50
Used toys while having sex — $30
Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20
Went skinny dipping — $5
Had sex in a pool — $20
Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
Cheated on your significant other — $10
Masturbated — $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20
Done oral — $5
Got oral — $5
Done/got oral in a car while it was moving — $25
Stole something — $10
Had sex with someone in jail — $25
Made a nasty home video — $15
Had a threesome — $50
Had sex in the wild — $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 — $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50
Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
Went streaking — $5
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
Been arrested — $5
Spent time in jail — $15
Peed in the pool — $0.50
Played spin the bottle — $5
Done something you regret — $20
Had sex with your best friend — $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
Had anal sex — $80
Lied to your mate — $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

Notice anything about it? Like that the second highest fine is for anal sex [second only to prostitution]? Like there are all sorts of fines for kissing or hitting on someone of the same sex?

Because those things are bad?

And cheating on your significant other is less of a fine than having sex with someone of the same sex?

I am not able to articulate this very well, and I lack the gravitas of other bloggers. However, I know this quiz is all in fun (and, no, I'm not sharing my score. I want all of you to think of me as pure and chaste), but, still, the fact that some people consider the way that I have sex and express emotion and attraction are inferior and dirty irritates me to no end.


  1. Wow! Cradle robbing is less of a crime than having anal sex. I don't see having sex with the opposite sex being criminal either. And if you define sex as an act of intercourse, gay sex gets fined twice: $20 for having sex with someone of the same sex and $80 for having anal sex. It doesn't seem fair.

    I wonder who made this crappy list.

  2. I think this is the least important thing to mention but *Peed in the pool — $0.50* is the scariest thing of all on this quiz thingy. I almost swim every day... geez. this is THE TRUE CRIME!

    I think I owe more than $500. Does that make me a bad person? huh.

  3. I don't understand what's the point of this test anyway: people who have sex differently than I do are bad? It's mostly sex related (except for stuff like been arrested) and sort of weird. Even though there is higher fine (like you said) on sex practices associated with homosexuals-- but the matter of fact is that they are not exclusive to them. It still is weird to consider any sexual act that is not "man on top of woman and in her vegina" as fine-worthy because it's bad. And why is falling in love with more than one person a sin? It happens, it's not fun, and it's not like people choose to be torn (it never happened to me but i can only imagine). What an idiotic juvenile list!

  4. one more thing:
    this list (as a result of it's implicit sexual judgment) is not only insulting/ damning for homosexuals, it is very insulting too for anything feminist: your pleasure and sex life are your own business not for the world to judge and "fine" you on.

  5. The ways you express emotion and attraction are lovely, but I'm quite certain that the way you have sex is TOTALLY dirty.


    Seriously, though: the quiz is silly and stupid, and probably geared toward drunks or teenagers or both. Don't let it hurt or marginalize you, gentlemen.

  6. Anonymous2:19 PM

    My fine was 10¢. I'm an angel.

  7. I can't afford to pay that much.

    The heterosexism is astounding -- People should be paying us for all that same-sex sex happening out there. It's what keeps the sun rising, don't you know?

  8. I pretty much said the same thing in my comments and in the comments where I first found it.

    "And why does anal sex carry such a higher fine than dropping acid? Apparently, other than sleeping with someone for money, anal sex is the worst thing you can do."

    Please! Give me a break!

  9. I don't feel marginalized at all.


  10. What, you mean the point isn't to get the highest score? Drat. I was feeling pretty good about my odds.

  11. Was anyone else nerdy enough to create a spreadsheet to compare their life in terms of how it should have been and how it actually was?

    No, didn't think so. I kinda guessed I'd be the odd one. I need to post about this myself. About $700 btw, just to save you a click...