Wednesday, January 10, 2007

A Short List of Things I Don't Understand

I don't understand:

1. how light can be both a wave and a particle (or packets of particles that move in wave ... whatever).

2. gravity.

3. infinity.

4. people's excitement over a phone. [Oh, wait, maybe I do understand this one ... it lets you "control everything with just your fingers." Whereas, previously, we had to use our toes to dial our fucking phones. It's a phone, people. It's not God in a Box.]

5. Republicans.

Feel free to add to my list in the comments ...


  1. Anonymous2:13 PM

    but it's sooooo freakin' cool!
    I don't understand why the sizes of pants vary so much from maker to maker.

  2. it's not a phone. it's a way of life!

    speaking of apple, i don't understand cult of personality.

  3. a couple of things (among many):

    1. why i seem to be incapable of learning french despite all my efforts.
    2. existence itself and everything related to it.

  4. just a phone? but it slice and dices and sing pretty to you!

  5. I don't understand why, after all this time, the people have not enthroned me as their emperor and overlord. I only want to be their benevolent servant -- then I will make them pay.

  6. I don't understand where female dogs ever learned to "hump"?

    I don't understand why kids will look you in the eye and like about completely ridiculous things.

    I don't understand why my dark clothes get little white fuzzy lint balls on them when they're all washed with other DARKS.

  7. To some people it IS God in a box... but not me.

  8. why Madonna isn't loved in America. It makes no sense, she is American ingenuity personafied. Plus she's hot!

  9. Vaccinations work by giving you a tiny dose of a bug right? Then your immune system fights it off and remembers everymore how to do so, right? So how come I didn't give Yellow Fever to everyone I came into contact with after getting the vaccination?

    Hmm, actually, I've not heard from my friends recently....

  10. dillon: I have a collorary to yours - How can 2 pairs of underwear from the same maker of the same style and size fit *so* differently? [Meaning pair #2 is totally riding up my ass this morning]

    fullofhype: Just listen to the lyrics. It will all make sense.

    bala wala shi: 1. I think it's because the French hate America, and 2. I'm sure existence has something to do with blogging, but I'm not quite sure what.

    gayprof: Wait. Are you saying you aren't our emperor and overlord? Hmm ...

    ms. martini: Please empty all pockets of used tissue before washing your darks. As for your dog's lesbionic tendencies and lying children ... I dunno.

    cooper: You're not God in a Box? dang.

    m-filer: I love Madonna in America. Does that count?

    only me: I have been feeling a little fluey lately.

  11. Light is either a particle or a wave depending on what it's doing when you observe it. If you're not observing it, it's probably both or neither. Simultaneously.

    In other words, without a conscious being to observe it, it doesn't really exist.

  12. goblinbox: yeah. thanks. that helped a lot.

  13. A particle or a wave, yes, that's a really good one. The idea that the speed of light is a constant is a real bender on its own. The implications don't make a lot of sense to this old monkey. Two ships pass each other, in opposite directions, both going the speed of light. Does that mean that their relative velocity is twice the speed of light?

    No. That can't happen. The time of the observers slows down to make the measured velocity right.

    Oh, that's a horrible explanation, but it's the best I can do. The universe is a strange place, more so than you can imagine. More than I can imagine, anyway.

    It was, what, 80 years ago that Einstein came up with his crazy story? And, yet, they still only teach Newtonian physics in high school. I guess I can understand that. Reality is a twister.