Sunday, January 07, 2007

alone

i've always imagined that i would spend my life with someone i loved.

but. right now. i can't see it. when i think about it. when i concentrate on it. all i see is a void.

at emiliano's birthday party tonight, several people reminded me that i could have sex whenever i wanted ... but that's not what i want. i don't want just 'the sex.'

why can't i have the connection? why can't i have the LOVE? well, the LOVE and the sex. that's what i want. and, that's what i can't seem to get.

and, i think i'm going to be alone.
for a long time.

*sigh*

aren't you glad i have internet access at home now so you can read all these late night, drunken, depressing ramblings?

5 comments:

  1. I agree with you, it's ao much more than the sex. Ultimately, though, you'll find what you're looking for.

    Because you're a great guy.

    SMOOCH!

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  2. But if you find the love of your life, would you stop blogging? We may never have the pleasure of reading your midnight ramblings!

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  3. I hear you.

    You're a very lovable guy. Some lucky man will see that one day.

    *hugs*

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  4. You know what I always hated? When people said, "You find love when you aren't looking for it." When is that? When I am asleep? Somebody will just wander into my room?

    Annnnnnyway, saying one wants "love" is a bit vague. What exactly do you want out of a relationship? What do you want it to look like? Now is the time, it seems to me, to outline the expectations and demands that you have. When you do meet your next person (which will happen at some point), you will have a clear set of guidelines to decide if the relationship is right for you.

    As an aside, it seems like this the weekend of loneliness around the blogosphere.

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