i've always imagined that i would spend my life with someone i loved.
but. right now. i can't see it. when i think about it. when i concentrate on it. all i see is a void.
at emiliano's birthday party tonight, several people reminded me that i could have sex whenever i wanted ... but that's not what i want. i don't want just 'the sex.'
why can't i have the connection? why can't i have the LOVE? well, the LOVE and the sex. that's what i want. and, that's what i can't seem to get.
and, i think i'm going to be alone.
for a long time.
aren't you glad i have internet access at home now so you can read all these late night, drunken, depressing ramblings?