Saturday, September 22, 2007

When It's Over ...

I officially ended it last night. He IM'ed me around 8 saying he was leaving school and to call if I needed to talk. I didn't need to talk, but I called anyway.

The conversation was strange and awkward, full of pauses and half-started sentences. He asked what I was thinking, so I said, "I'm thinking we should go our separate ways."

There was a long pause. "I thought maybe we could work things out. Maybe I wasn't clear last night ..."

"I understood what you were trying to say. I'm never going to want a non-monogamous relationship. And I can't make you, and you can't force yourself, to love me. What is there to work out?"

There was another long pause.

"Maybe ..."

"Why don't you take some time to think about it? If you come up with a solution, I listen to it," I said.

He's supposed to come over today to return my house keys. And that will be it, I guess. We have plans to meet friends on Sunday afternoon for the National Opera's free simulcast of "La Boheme" on the Mall. [Look! I made plans.] I don't know if he still will come to that or not. I'll find out today.

It's not like I hate him or anything. In fact, I'm glad he was honest. It's much better to know this early that he wasn't happy rather than walking in on him with some long-haired 20-something with bad skin 13 months into the relationship.

Anyway, thanks for all the supportive comments and email.
And for the chats.
And for the love.

*big hugs* and *smooches*

PS. Send more bourbon.
PPS. Scroll down and read about the AIDS Walk.
PPPS. Could someone tell me if the link to my donation page works for you [It's the "Click here to donate" link]? When I click it, I am sent to my login page (which could be because it knows it's me? Or is everyone sent to a login page?). Thx.


  1. I know it really sucks. At the risk of being cliché, though, it really is better that things end earlier rather than later. Part of dating is supposed to be about finding out if the two people actually do share the same goals and desires. It's when people compromise those basic desires that unhappy relationships appear, IMHO. For instance, if Y doesn't want monogamy but then agrees to it anyway, it is likely that he would a) fell resentful and b) likely cheat anyway. It would be much worse to have to break up after a much longer time and betrayal.

    Keep a stiff upper lip and that bourbon glass full!

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  3. We got free tickets to the La Boheme in the Lincoln Center few years ago. It was really great. Enjoy it!

  4. :( sucks :( i wish were closer. i'd pour the bourbon for you. heck, i'd even muddle the fruit. i'm good at that since i'm fairly muddled to begin with.

  5. You know all the cliches, and eventually they will feel true. Meanwile, this just sucks. I'm so sorry. Sometimes a twisty straw with the bourbon helps. Big hug.

  6. Geez, stop reading for two seconds and everything falls apart.

    My sympathies darlin'. Gayprof's words are wise. Being on the same page is important and he's looking at chapters in another book.

    Oh, and I did have to scavenge for your info through that donation link. Does this link help?

  7. I agree, it's much better to get all of this out and in the open earlier rather than later.

    You have to give him at least partial credit for being honest.

    still tho... I just don't get the whole open relationship thing people believe they can exist happily in. I mean why even bother committing to someone?