Monday, February 04, 2008

Weekend Update: Skankified Ho Edition

Friday night was rather uneventful, so we'll skip right over it and move directly on to Saturday.

Saturday morning, I did my taxes. And, for those of you, like me, who have to pay PMI*, we must give Congress a big SMOOCHY thank you, because ...


Yes, kittens, yes, it is. I checked to make sure in my March issue of Kiplingers. It almost makes having to pay stupid PMI to the blood-sucking mortgage companies worthwhile. Almost.

So, this year, VUBOQ is having Super-Happy Refund! YAY! We *heart* Super-Happy Refund!

*super-happy refund booty dance*
(_\_) (_/_) (_\_) (_/_)
doot doot doot. doot doot da doot doot.

Now, I'm sure you are asking yourself, "What is VUBOQ going to do with his Super-Happy Refund?"

I'm so glad you asked. I'm going to put most of it in savings and my Roth IRA! YAY!

PLUS, and here's where you come in, starting today, VUBOQ issues forth his

10% Refund Challenge!

VUBOQ challenges everyone who gets a refund this year to donate 10% of your refund to the charity (or charities) of your choice! Yes, bitches, it's time to tithe. VUBOQ will be sharing more about the charities of his choice later on ...

If you decide to participate in the 10% Refund Challenge, send me an email (or leave a comment) and I will enter your name into a drawing to receive a fantastic prize (of a yet to be determined nature).

The 10% Refund Challenge will end on April 15th.

The gauntlet has been thrown. Will you pick it up?

OK. Now, back to the weekend ...

Saturday evening, I went to two 30th birthday parties with SCGB. The first one was at a group house in Petworth (Columbia Heights?). It was full of librarians and guybrarians and other brainy nerdy chic people. The "cake" was amazing. It consisted of a tower of mini-cream puffs coated in a sugary glaze. OMG! SCGB and I had to step away from the cake before we devoured it all.

We left that party around 11 to go to the 2nd 30th Birthday gathering held at some club in downtown DC (at the corner of 14th and K). Straight people are so weird. There was a bouncer who was only letting random people in. You sort of had to line up behind this rope and he'd come around to decide if he'd let you in or not. So odd. I mean, really, it's a club in DC. Full of straight people. Why on earth would I *want* to go in there? Finally, it's our turn and SCGB says we're here for the party. The guy immediately lets us in. Some people didn't look to happy about that but whatever. Do I care?

Inside the club was the largest gathering of skankified hos I have ever seen. I don't know if it's because DC women have to dress so conservatively during the workweek that on weekends they cut loose and dress like cheap whores from New Jersey or if they were all simply cheap whores from New Jersey. So skanky hos, disgusting straight men drooling over the skanky hos, super-expensive drinks ($10 for a gin and tonic) certainly made for an interesting (and short) stay at that party. I do have to add that SCGB's friends were not dressed like New Jersey whores and seemed equally as appalled as we did. In fact, SCGB's friends were quite nice. Too bad we were there, and not somewhere cool.

I guess we got home a little after one. On the metro ride home, SCGB and I began to discuss the lyrics to Alanis Morisette's "Ironic." Now, we all know that nothing in the actual song is ironic, but what if Alanis knew that and sang the song anyway realizing that a generation of angry young women would completely misunderstand the meaning of irony. Isn't that ironic? It's like rai-i-ain on your wedding day ...

I guess I got to bed around 2.

Sunday morning was all *oog* and *urgh* and *gah*. I didn't even drink that much. Why was I so overhung? WHY? I was supposed to go to a movie with Mike and Tiger, but called to cancel.

I ended up going to El Golfo (spinach! enchiladas! margaritas!) with Tomokito and Y in the afternoon. I was a little tipsy, so when we got home I took a nap. Mmm. Nap.

Around 7, I popped some popcorn and we headed up to Tomokito's to watch the Super Bowl commercials. They sucked. And, apparently, there was also some sort of sporting event on as well, but I got tired after like the 3rd inning and went back to my apartment.

And that was it. Fun times, kittens. Fun times.

Oh. And guess what? Pottery class starts up tonight! YAY!!!!

*Primary Mortgage Insurance, the bane of my existance.


  1. Watch the cheap ho's from New Jersey comments!

  2. Those fantabulous cream puff cakes are French wedding cakes, or croquembouches. I tried it once at a lesbeen wedding and 'bout died from ecstasy.

    On the challenge thing, I suppose I need to do my taxes, but I expect I'll take you up on it. I usually try to spread my charitable giving between Heifer and Seva Foundation, with occasional donations to MSF.

  3. I think the irony of that first line is that rain on your wedding day is supposed to bring good luck for your marriage.
    Sounds like a fun weekend. We watched the game late (love my tivo) and I only really liked one commercial - the one with the clydesdales. They make me cry every time since the 2002 game.
    And Jordin was FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC. I love that girl.

  4. Oh goody! Pottery class!

    I liked the commercials with the baby at his computer. I think he was buying stock or something, I really can't remember. I'm still at Mama's place, and she was all excited about the game, but she was nice enough to bring my attention back to the TV when the commercials came on. Otherwise I got some good knitting done.

    Any place where I have to stand in line and some bouncer decides whether or not to let me in, that place isn't good enough for me to grace with my presence. Although for a birthday party I might consider making an exception. Maybe. Since I am old and fat they'd not want me there. But I am also absolutely fabulous so 'twould be their loss.

  5. I am proud to say that the Superbowl passed by me without notice.

  6. Super bowl?

    Watching loads of old people that smell of wee rolling balls at smaller balls? Meh, count me as one of the "dis-interested" pile.

    My town in the UK is more Ho-ey than DC. Guaranteed. Even here in aus where the chicks dress good it's not uncommon for someone to flash the gash after a few beers. You'd spew.


  7. In the highly unlikely event that I get a refund this year - and I mean Hell will be brisk and a bit nippy if I get a refund - I will gladly dispatch 10% to a charity.

    However, more likely I will be embarrassingly grateful for the stupid $600 Federal rebate which will help cover my taxes. What ever is left from that I might then give 10% to charity.

  8. Anonymous4:00 PM

    Hey now, I'm a cheap whore from New Jersey and I would never set foot in a place like that. Was it Lima?

    Also, my life's goal is to be able to make a croquembouche with spun sugar. Seriously.

  9. I can't pick up the gauntlet because I won't get a refund. Stupid ex-employer paid me as a contractor, not an employee, so I'll be owing taxes.


  10. I'm in. Not getting a big refund, but I'll do at least 10%.