Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Love and Marriage

I'm going to a Bridal Shower on Sunday. I called up the Sister of the Bride the other day to find out where the happy couple had registered.

"Target; Bed, Bath, and Beyond; and Crate and Barrel," she said.

In the course of the conversation, she also said something along the lines of "They already have everything they need, but the Bride has decided she wants all new things."


The more I think about it, the more upset I get. When did weddings become a festival of greed, rather than a celebration of love? And why do I feel obligated to get them something anyway?

I would think that, historically, the whole wedding gift-giving thing arose because the sweet young couples didn't own anything. Now, people with well-stocked houses are getting married, but they still want gifts. Lots of gifts. Spatulas! Toaster ovens! 800 count Egyptian cotton queen size sheets!

Maybe I'm bitter (maybe?) because I know I'll never get married and be showered with gifts. Or maybe I'm cheap and hate spending money on gifts that I know people don't need.

Or maybe this whole wedding thing is out of control.


  1. It *is* out of control. Well, I happen to think that our whole selfish, attention-deficit-addled consumerist culture is out of control generally, but yes, weddings and baby showers these days are kind of horrifying.

  2. give them a pair of your used soiled underwear. (as a cleaning cloth.) have fun with it!

  3. Anonymous3:57 PM

    Make a donation in their name. It's more than they deserve, and maybe will help to offset some of the damage they'll do with their conspicuous consumption. I have some links for wedding-specific donationy things, if you want them.


  4. Ooh, I like the donation idea. "All new things" is greedy and silly.

    I didn't even register when I got married, until one of my relatives complained. So I registered at Target online or something fast and stupid and I don't think that particular relative even got me something from the registry!

    The coolest thing we got was a chrome citrus juicer. I hadn't asked for it, obviously, but it's way cool and I still love it five years later.

  5. Can I not even read the COMMENTS section without TMI references to Vuboq's soiled undergarments???

  6. I think that asking for cash or tokens is money-grabbing and we shouldn't support those people.

    But giving a "proper", tangible gift is a way to show your approval/appreciation of a union.

    Everyone that's been in a relationship knows how nice it is to receive a present, or gift, that someone's bothered to choose because it's for both of you?

    I've got a christmas card in the drawer next to me addressed to TT and I. Not just me, not just her, but both of us! It's so cool when people recognise the unity between a couple and do things for the couple rather than either individual. Well, I find it cute.

    And of course you're bitter - you have to be. VUOQ just doesn't have the same ring as VUBOQ!

    Later, mate...
    Only Me

  7. The only think that irritates me more is a "Money Tree" in leu of gifts... or even the "please donate to our Honeymoon"... crap.

    My ex husband is getting married for the THIRD time June 10th. I asked him if it would be weird if I got he and his new Mrs. a wedding gift. He quickly replied with: "We're registered at Target!"


  8. Dude... my divorced friend is already planning her 2nd wedding with her "man o' the month" and is already talking about how excited she is to open presents. What? I'm pretty sure that for a 2nd wedding presents aren't necessary and if she thinks that she's getting anything from any of her friends... She never even sent out thank you notes from her 1st wedding. Maybe I'm bitter too?!? :)