Wednesday, September 06, 2006

DHL. Express Delivery to Hell

When I got home from work last night, there was a DHL Express Delivery Envelope by my door.

"Hm. I wasn't expecting anything," I thought. I bent down to look at the address - "Albert Adams. 8702 Manchester Rd."

Let's review: My name is not Albert Adams. And my address? It's 8722 Manchester Rd.

I guess 8702 is a bit further up the road? I have no idea.

I called the toll-free number on the envelope (not that it actually was "toll-free," since I had to use my cell phone). There was no "Your Stupid Driver Delivered the Envelope to the Wrong House" option on the phone tree, so I kept pressing 0 until I was able to speak to a live person.

"May I have your phone number please?"
"No. Your driver delivered an envelope to the wrong address."
"And your name?"
"Steven. But, my name isn't in your system. Your driver delivered an envelope to the wrong address?"
"What?"
"Your. Driver. Delivered. An. Envelope. To. The. Wrong. Address."
"Oh. I see. Is there a tracking number?"
I read it off the envelope.
"Well, it says here that [someone's name] signed for that envelope."
"Great. I don't know who that is. And I'm not the addressee. And it's not my address."
"Oh. OK. I'll schedule someone to come pick it up within the hour."
"Good. I'll leave it in the outside door, so the driver won't have to bother me to get it."
"Thank you for using DHL."
"GAH!"

About thirty minutes later, I see a DHL van in the parking lot. 5 minutes later, the van is still there. Then, my phone rings. It's the door intercom.

"Hello."
"DHL."
Me, thinking, "GAH! CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THE ADDRESS ON THE ENVELOPE DOESN'T MATCH THE ADDRESS BY THE DOOR?!?!?!"
Me, saying, "You delivered that envelope to the wrong house. Please take it to the correct address."
"Thank you for using DHL."

GAH!
Trust me on this one people. I will never use DHL.

7 comments:

  1. even just reading your post gives me frustration. i totally understand your feeling.

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  2. I feel stupid for never having heard of DHL :(

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  3. we had a similar experience with Fed-Ex. a post was sent to us "overnight" last weekend.. it's still on its way.

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  4. Haha! Well everyone makes mistakes... and you should be glad that there are mailmen who bring packages, even though they are complete retards.

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  5. I wonder if they're simply forced to say "thank you for using DHL" to anyone they speak to as part of their job. It would explain that part, at least.

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  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  7. I can't wait to see your blog-post subsequent to receiving a bill from DHL for "mailing" your package to someone just down the street. You just know it's going to happen don't you?!

    I'm yet to find a decent carrier. The UK's "leading" (leading is used in a very loose sense here - loser than the bowels of a chronic IBS sufferer after a night on lager and vindaloo) is called Parcel Force. After the fifth consecutive cockup in one week we re-christened them "Parcel Farce".

    The poor girl on their reception laughed at it so much and got used to our calls of complaint she started answering the phone "Good morning, Parcel farce!"

    The following week she'd been replaced. Strange that.

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