As I slip deeper into the Summer of my Discontent, I've noticed an increasing negativity in my thoughts. Last night, Mike and I were on the phone until about 1AM (I couldn't sleep). He was talking about his belief that we create our own realities shaped by our thoughts. When we think negative things, negative things happen. Conversely, positive thoughts create positive realities.
It's all very Norman Vincent Peale.
Although I do believe that our attitudes shape our being, I think this philosophy doesn't give randomness and chaos much sway. I realize that I only received a brief introduction into this way of thinking; however, I find it difficult to believe that John was cheating on me because a few times I thought that he could be cheating on me. Did my thoughts precede the action or vice versa? I don't believe that those thousands of people whose lives were destroyed by the tsunami two (?) years ago or by Hurricane Katrina last year were thinking negative thoughts and brought it on themselves. I buy lottery tickets every time the jackpot is over $100 million and I think I'm going to win. It still hasn't happened.
Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. Shit happens. Maybe our attitudes have some affect ... but giving our thoughts total control seems, well, naive ... or at least simplistic.
However, that's not to completely discount what he said. I know I've been viewing things through a Mr. Negativity Lens (Free! from Kellogg's I've Been Cheated On Cheerios!), and it's coloring my perspective on everything ... my job, my life, my friendships, my future relationships. I need to change that. I need to reverse the polarity of my thinking.
I need to, and I will.
Right now, I need to finish my coffee, because -gah!- staying up until 1AM is exhausting.