Thursday, June 08, 2006

Cosmic Convergence

Exhibit A: I decide to break up with John.
Exhibit B: Normally, after one of my relationships ends, I buy "My Relationship Has Ended Shoes."
Exhibit C: The DSW two blocks from my office opens tomorrow.

Chance? Fate? Alignment of the stars with Uranus?

You be the judge.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch ...

Can anyone explain the difference between distrust and mistrust? I've been using distrust but am no longer sure that's correct. Are they interchangeable?

GAH! I can't even trust my own grammar anymore!

Seriously though, Billy makes a good point [in the comment section of the previous post].

I was being a bit drama queenish when I wrote that I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust anyone again. The point is I trusted John, and he abused that trust. Now, I'm questioning my own judgement. If I mistakenly placed my trust in John, what will prevent me from making that same mistake again?

I suppose it's more of a self-confidence issue than one of trust. That's what's been shaken. I do believe that, given time, my fabulousness, like cream, will rise to the top and all will be well.


  1. Mmm, cream.

    You can't guarantee you won't make the same mistake again. But you'll get better at it, more careful, more full of fabulous self-respect. You'll learn. And . . . not everyone is John. People earn your trust.

    I speak like an expert, though I only play one on TV. You will recall (or will you?) that I was cheated on in a big way too. Though everyone's story is different, trust is something we all have to figure out. And I'm still working on it myself.

  2. YAY! and cream~~~ yum~~~. your fabulousness will never be extinguished!

  3. I know that Psychologist Erikson used mistrust (in his developmental stage of trust vs. mistrust, which I would explain further because I know and I have a Psych exam next week, but I will spare you). So yeah, I've only ever heard mistrust.

  4. Anonymous3:55 PM

    Seems you're not the only person with the trust/mistrust confusion. I found this on The Columbia Guide to Standard American English: "Mistrust means “to doubt, to lack confidence in,” as in I mistrust his ability to persuade her. Distrust means much the same but adds suspicion to the mix: He distrusts her because he thinks she’ll cheat him." So I'm thinking mistrust is like you're not sure if you can trust him, and distrust is you're pretty sure you can't.

    Damn English major. It's going to follow me for the rest of my life, I just know it.

    For what it's worth, I think you're making the right decision. You shouldn't stay with someone who makes you doubt yourself, your ability to trust. (But if you end up changing your mind, you can just forget I said that. *s*)


  5. love,

    i know you feel dreadful right now. you feel like you'll never be able to trust anyone again. that's quite ok. is it dramatic? yes, of course it is, but your feelings are big time right now. remember that feelings are feelings and have very little to do with logic. you are strong and you can and will get through this. eventually you'll look at this relationship and consider the lessons learned and look back at the good times.

    keep trying to take good care of yourself. it's really easy to let the hurting take over and let yourself run down. it's important that you don't let that happen.

  6. i tried to post this yesterday but blogger was buggy and resistant:

    sometimes cream does not rise to the top but from the top. but that's not why we're here today. or is it?

    i think your assessment is good and clearsighted. you (from what i could see) have been honest in your relationship with john. the issue is not with your part of the equation!

    and for your talk tonight, remember: liquor = fortification.

  7. I've only every had 3 long term relationships. I was cheated on in the first. The 2nd ended because I then couldn't trust g/f when i was on the road all the time. Not her fault but it ended.

    Now I've met tt and I would trust her with my life. I've learnt to trust again, it can happen. I think when you find 'the one' everything in the past is irrelevant.

  8. Mistrust is generally a lack of trust rising from suspicion: "I mistrust his good wishes because yesterday I saw him sticking a voodoo doll with my name on it full of pins." It's used in conjunction with an evidential context.

    Distrust, on the other hand, is to lack confidence/trust/faith in someone. "I distrust his ready smiles", even if you have no reason to so do. You use it more as a signifier of an instinctual aversion than one predicated on fact.

    This is what I get for double-majoring in English and Medieval Studies. Kill me now.