Friday, July 14, 2006

If You Haven't Seen Superman Returns Don't Read This

Now that they've gone ...

Two of the things that bugged me about the movie:

1. Why didn't the director make up his mind about when the movie was taking place?

Like, um, the computers were antiquated, but the cellphones all had cameras? What up with that? Nothing matched. It was like he took every time period available and mashed it into one anachronistic era. I found that extremely distracting.

2. The Kid

The whole Superman as Dad thing completely blew my mind. I mean, really, didn't he use a condom? Or do you think he has SuperOrgasm powers and the condom was ripped to shreds.

And, if he has such amazing orgasms, why didn't they just blast through Lois Lane? Does he have that much control? Maybe he knew about Kegel exercises?

And how far do you think a SuperOrgasm would go?

I also find it hard to believe that a liberated, independent woman like Lois Lane wasn't on the Pill and that she didn't insist on other types of birth control as well [Not that birth control is 100% effective all the time, but still ...].

Hm ... maybe I should just go back to being pretty for awhile.


  1. LMAO!

    You make excellent points...

    I have thought about Superman's superorgasm before, too.

  2. Anonymous1:06 PM

    I must go ponder this now. SuperOrgasms. Hmmmm....

  3. i haven't seen the movie, nor am i likely to in this decade. that said, perhaps lois becoming pregnant was part of the directors achronal time thing. the sophisticated, liberated woman decides to trap superman into marriage by getting pregnant. hey, it could happen, though post-murphy brown it's kind of stupid. or, perhaps her birth control and knowledge about sexual reprecussions were in the same era as the computers despite her job being in the era of phone cameras.

    hey, it could happen :)

  4. Perhaps they WANTED a kid?

  5. Did you see Smallville, the series set in "supermans" growing up years? The time warp in that done my head in too. They were supposed to be in the 70's or something but referred to the internet several times and some characters had cell phones.

    It's a bit like watching the new Pink Panther movie, you just have to forget about the past and remember that films made today are just for the brain dead generation.

    You have to treat current films like most things in current life: hey ho, take it or leave it, whatever....

    I still think the movie could have had a more original conclusion than Superman chucking an island into outer space though. As I said on my post, that's no way to deal with your problems. If you've got the capability to throw things into orbit you may as well do it to Lex as he's invariably the one the causes the problems in the first place.

    When will Superman learn eh?

    Super-orgasms, hmm, thought matter indeed. What would happen in I accidently shagged wonder woman and she had a wonder-orgasm? oooh, bet that would be painful.

    This is getting silly, can you tell I've been beering again?

    Have good weekend y'all....
    Only Me!

  6. Hmmm. The movie was taking place in the modern day, but the computers etc. weren't particularly antiquated from what I could tell--they were pretty standard newsroom machines, from what I remember of my journalist days. Plus, there were plasma-screen TVs all over the place. I actually liked the way they did it, the whole art deco/40s glam edge to the visuals. In particular, I coveted Luthor's wardrobe.

    I refuse to address the child issues. He was sort of an unnecessary side-show.