Thursday, July 20, 2006

Coffeeless in Seattle Silver Spring.

BAH! I left my coffee at home this morning. Now, I must suffer through the brown swill known as "office coffee." *geh* I have a sinking feeling that I'm going to be extra-cranky this morning.

Not much exciting is happening. Supposedly having dinner tonight with Mike, but I have no idea what time. I called. He never called back. *eh* Either we go to dinner or I stay home to knit. Right now, both options are equally appealing. [Can you feel the crankiness?]

Last night, I watched a couple of DVDs, vacuumed the house, did two loads of laundry (clean sheets!), and worked on a hat. I ate the other half of my Subway sandwich for dinner.

After I went to bed, I read a little bit more of the book Mike loaned me, The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. If you can trudge through most of the New Age metaphysical crap, the core message of the book seems to be pretty good.

Yesterday, I read the third agreement: Don't Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
I have a big problem with clearly communicating/expressing my wants and needs. As I look back on my relationship with the Cheating Cheater who Cheated Cheatfully, I think a lot of the problems stemmed from our lack of communication and me making assumptions about the relationship - like "Agreeing to unprotected sex means that both partners will be monogamous."

A dangerous, but, in my mind, valid assumption. Apparently, John felt differently. Apparently a lot of people feel differently. I had no idea. I guess my relationship naivete colored my perceptions. From now on, I will work harder at clearly stating what I want and expect in my relationships.

I have some thoughts on the other agreements, too. Maybe I'll share them later.


1 comment:

  1. Is the Cheating Cheater Who Cheated Cheatfully any relation to GayProf's ex (who told many lies)...?

    Sounds they might hang out with the Lousy Manipulative Jerk Whose Car I Wanted to Sabotage a few years back.

    Which of course might have been gratifying if only that Lousy Manipulative Jerk, etc. happened to be driving a very nice and very new Saab 95 at the time.

    I had even planned it out to yank his oil filter bolt and toss it in the sewer... nothing like throwing an engine rod to ruin your day (or your engine for that matter).

    Fortunately, reason prevailed and I restrained myself from such criminal mischief... no need to go to jail over such a Lousy Manipulative Jerk. :P