Friday, May 18, 2007

A Case of the "If Onlys"

Yesterday, as I was about to leave for the day, I came across a job posting on the Environmental Working Group's website for a staff blogger. And, I thought, "Wow. This job would be perfect for me, if only ..."

If only ... I had not semi-abandoned my environmental blog, EnviroWonk.

If only ... I met more of the experience requirements [Drupal? Digg? Photoshop?].

If only ... I could afford to live on (what I expect is a rather low) environmental non-profit staff blogger's salary.

If only ...

If only ... I could refrain from talking myself out of something before I even try.

In other news,

I had a dream, a dream about you, kittens. It's gonna come true, kittens.

I was in Las Vegas with friends. I was playing one of those slot machines which had a huge combined jackpot. After playing a few rounds, I put in more money and watched the images slowly align. Click. Click. Click. Stop. ALARM BELLS! SIRENS! I had won the jackpot.

$7,063,472.35 [Weird that I remember the exact number, huh?]

I couldn't believe it. My friends and I sat there in stunned silence as a casino employee came to verify everything. He carted us off to a special waiting area, where we sat drinking champagne.

And, then, I woke up and looked over at Y, sleeping soundly beside me. Have I hit the jackpot? Or am I caught up in the first flush of a new romance?

At least, the "jackpot" hit me a couple of times before we fell asleep. And a couple of times after we got up. *sigh*


  1. Drupal and Digg are just group bookmarking services. You sign up for an account, you see an interesting page, you bookmark it. The sites keep tallies on most popular pages.

    Fucking apply for it. The absolute worst case scenario is that they offer it to you and you have to turn it down because it doesn't pay enough. Stop being silly.

    As for jackpots: what is it, exactly, that you want from a relationship? Just someone to choose you? That's not enough. You gotta choose what YOU want.

    Now give me some money.

  2. Have I hit the jackpot? Or am I caught up in the first flush of a new romance?

    Either way, why not just enjoy it?

  3. goblinbox: *gives Mush money*

    gayprof: Enjoy? What does that mean?

  4. Correction: Drupal is a content management system. It's just a web interface you log into and add content. You could learn it in no time.

  5. Plus: ditto the prof. Freakin' relax and enjoy, you weirdo. ;-)

  6. your cousin2:31 PM

    You should definitely, fucking apply for the job. If you don't want to waste time applying if the salary is heinous, then call and ask what the salary range is first. I use photoshop every single day for my job and learned it on the job. I have never taken a class or looked at a single book on it. You can learn this kind of thing. On the other hand, consuming interest in and knowledge of environmental policy, and the natural ability to be a dedicated blogger, these are attributes that you have! And they might be harder to find than you think. And you're fun. Crazy caller bingo! Everyone else applying might be uptight and boring, giving you a natural edge. You should do it! And a slightly smaller salary might be an ok trade for a job that you'd really enjoy. As long as you could still pay the mortgage. Back to the mummies!
    your cousin

  7. The Cuz: Thanks. I did love Crazy Caller Bingo. Have fun with the mummies (and the daddies).

  8. more important- did you share the $7,063,472.35 with your friends? was i among them?

  9. Dude--apply! For anything that isn't the photography or graphics industry, nobody actually expects you to know anything in Photoshop beyond the basic cropping and image resizing and all the dumb stuff that only takes two clicks to do. Find yourself a copy and just start playin' with it. It's not hard to get the basics down. It's a plus, anyhow. The important thing is you know how to blog. DOO EET!

  10. You is got the job and you know it. Yeah, Ali G is inda house. I'm fucked.