The people have spoken. Or at least some of them. So here's my exposition on:
#4 Big city life and the creation of the societal expectation of "Someone Better Will Come Along Tomorrow"
A few months ago, I sucked it up and stuck my toe back into the Dating Pool.
Dating is hard. It should be fun, but I'm too busy thinking things like "stop babbling" and "make eye contact" and "ask questions" and "be interested" to truly enjoy a first date. I hit my stride (I think) with the second date. However, since I started dating again, I've only had one second date out of 4 [or was it 5?] dates.
I didn't date a lot until I moved to DC, so I do not have a strong frame of reference. However, I wonder if Big City Culture has created a society in which people are never quite satisfied with what they have, because something new (and possibly better) may be right around the corner: Men are like buses. There's always another one coming.*
Bala Wala Shi provided a link to an interesting NYT article, Romantic Revulsion in the New Century: Flaw-O-Matic 2.0, the premise being that we find fault, no matter how tiny, with our dates. GayProf also touched on this with his inspired Deal Breaker post.
My general thinking is that the root cause of the Flaw-o-Matic and the Deal Breaker are the same: Someone better will come along. Men are passing up on Practically Perfect in Every Way People because Mr. Perfect in Every Way is moving here soon!
Small towns don't have that problem (as much). They don't have a constant influx of people moving there. They don't foster the same quest for Someone Better. Quoth my cuzin: "That’s why you should move to a smaller town. Like Ann Arbor. It’s more laid back and friendly and it’s easy to meet people. Plus, everyone knows there are a limited number of fish in this pond and if you find a good one, you shouldn’t throw it back."
Not that I'm moving to the Frozen Tundra anytime soon. Nor do I want to appear like I am shifting my lack of [second] dates on everyone else.**
What I am doing is learning from my experiences, becoming more comfortable with myself, and -hopefully- someone better will come along. But, if not, I'll be OK.***
*Unless you miss the last S2/S4 to Silver Spring, then another one *is* coming ... but not for another 6 hours or so.
**Even though I am. I'm fantastic! Everyone should want me!
***Just don't get me started on the whole Job-Hunting/A Better Resume Will Get Here Tomorrow culture