Monday, July 28, 2008

Weekend Update: Decompression Edition

Does anyone know why visits with the parental units are so stressful?

Here are a few stress-inducing highlights:

Mom came in and said, "It's so clean." Then, she pulled out all my cleaning stuff, started dusting, and showed me how much dirt she's picking up. I. Can't. Win.

Or what about after an entire morning/early afternoon driving around and talking, I'm enjoying a few quiet moments on the sofa when she said "Why aren't you talking? How come we don't have conversations?"

Or maybe Dad trying to have the "You're going to be unemployed soon and will probably be depressed" talk. Um. Yeah. Thanks. That was almost as fun as the "dating" talk*.

But, even with all the stress and pressure, they are fun to be around (most of the time). So, here's the weekend rundown.

Friday evening. I cleaned (but not well enough, apparently).
Saturday morning. I cleaned more (see above parenthetical).
Saturday afternoon. We went to Target.** I spent a lot of money. Fortunately, I had a gift card. I can haz new shower curtain! YAY!
Saturday evening. We had dinner at Thai as Silver Spring. YUM. Then, we went home and watched Roman Holiday. Fun.
Sunday. After breakfast, we drove to two local farms which were open to the public as part of the Montgomery County Farm Tour. First we saw ALPACAS***:

Sheared Alpacas 2

The second "farm" was more like a glorified (and expensive) fruit stand. We bought peaches. And, then, because it was hot, drove home and sat in the A/C for the rest of the afternoon. There was a big thunderstorm, so, instead of going to Taste of Jerusalem for dinner, we ordered pizza. YUM. Then, we played Yahtzee! and watched The Producers.

This morning, I got up, got ready for work, and tried not to be overly irritated. How can people be so cheery so early in the morning? I just don't get it.

They should be leaving about now (9:30ish) to visit my Dad's brother (and wife) in Virginia.

As for me, I have my penultimate pottery class tonight. I have a few things to trim, a handle to pull, and maybe some glazing to do. Y is leaving for NYC sometime today, because his sister and niece are there. I think he'll be gone all week. *sigh*

Happy Monday, everyone. *smooches*

*For those of you who don't know: No, I am not out to my parents. Yes, I realize I am lying to them. No, I don't really care. Yes, I will eventually come out to them. No, I don't know when. Probably when I'm ready to deal with all the Christianity that will be thrown my way. Which may be a long time. Yes. I have issues. Who doesn't?
**This is a big deal for someone who doesn't have a car and likes to buy kitty litter in 30+ pound buckets.
***Sorry about the sweater, Amy.


  1. Not out to your parents = STRESSFUL.

    Bossy thinks you should let Bossy tell them - she'll run interference to the Christian back talk while you enjoy a gin and tonic in the shade.

    Peace, brother.

  2. My parents always stay in a hotel. (Yay!) We're all just so much more comfortable that way. Each with our accustomed level of comforts.

    Last time they visited, we didn't get around to cleaning the upper floor, so that wasn't open for viewing. It was a downstairs visit only. I'm hoping this year's visit will be different, but I'm not holding my breath.

  3. Pulling a handle in pottery class sounds dirty. Hope it's as much fun as I'm imagining.

  4. Bossy would make a great girlfriend in a pinch! Sorry it's all so's to hugs and a whole foods binge!

  5. OMG, my mother used to do that "we never talk" thing. Usually 30 seconds after I'd staggered out of bed and flopped onto the couch, while home from college for the weekend. She could never understand why a) it made me pissy the whole time I was there, and b) why I never ever wanted to come "home". Gah.

  6. *hug*


    sorry about your stress.

  7. Cleaning is the way that your mother shows that she loves you -- I don't think it is a judgment thing.

  8. anne marie in philly12:48 PM


    PS - which "the producers" did you watch, 1968 or 2007?

  9. Visits from my parents aren't particularly stressful, but I've been out to them forever and they actually treat me like an intelligent, responsible adult. They also live a couple hours away currently and usually don't spend the night, but even when overnight stays have occurred, I've enjoyed their company. I know only too well about the throwing Christianity around thing from my fundie in-laws, though.

    GayProf, cleaning can be a very passive-aggressive activity, and if it's used as a way of reinforcing an adult-child relationship dynamic, it's doubly dysfunctional. Not that this is necessarily the case here, but there can be more than one reason to pick up a dustrag.

  10. Sounds like you handled it way better than I would have. I'm too old and cranky to put up with that kind of shit. Congratulations on your grace and tact. I'm impressed.

    Sorry Y is out of town. Sounds like you could use some cheering up from the bf.

    Baby alpacas! So adorable! Did you get alpaca yarn?

    Thanks for clearning up the out-to-the-parents thing. I was slightly confused. I feel for you. Good luck.

  11. I've found as I get older that I've identified all the buttons and removed their circuits, so when the parents push them, nothing happens. They also live nearby and I see them all the time so visits are so full of pressure to "connect."

    The week I spent with them and my sister and nephews was without incident.

    And darling, unless they are as dense as a bad pound cake, your parents "know."

  12. OMG V, I was totally kidding before in my comments. I'm sorry if I hit a nerve.

    See you tomorrow? Buy you a beer to make it up to you?

    xoxo, SG

  13. GayProf's onto something about the cleaning.

    So, "Roman Holiday" AND "The Producers"...and they still don't know you're gay? No judgement...I'm just saying...they may not be paying attention. ; )

  14. I third GayProf's hypothesis about cleaning. My own hypetheis about stress from visits involving the parental unit is that every little annoying thing that they do cannot be limited to that single incident. That single incident triggers viceral memories of every single other time that they annoyed you doing that same damn thing ever since you were born.