Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Does This Mean We Won't Be Invited Back?

“There’s no easy way to say this,” she said over the phone. “But, some people said your behavior at the barbeque was inappropriate.”

“What? I didn’t think we did anything offensive,” I replied. My mind raced through my Inappropriate Behavior Checklist: Peeing off the balcony? Nope. Drunken, racist remarks? Nope. Butt sex in the bathroom? Ha. I wish. Ha. Kidding. Nope. Deep, passionate kissing? Nope. Groping? Nope. As the homosexual couple representatives at an otherwise very hetero-gathering, I was very aware to not be overly … emotive. What the hell did we do?

“Well, there were children present. And one of the parents mentioned to [the hostess] that Y was sitting on your lap.”

OMG! A man sitting on another man’s lap at a table where there were no other chairs! The horror! And, EEK! I may have had my arms around him. And I may have pecked him on the cheek once or twice (or three times, I can’t remember).

Won’t someone think of the children?
Won’t someone?
Won’t someone explain to the children that not all relationships are just like their parents‘?
Won’t someone take the time to do that rather than castigate two people who were enjoying each other’s company (rather chastely, I might add)?

The more I think about this, the more upset I become. I called Y and ranted to him for a bit. “How does your friend feel about it,” he asked.


I didn’t even think to ask her. I was a bit too taken aback to think clearly. Reflecting back on the conversation, she seemed to be merely conveying a message, rather than her own feelings. But, I don’t know. I need to find out.


  1. i would expect that a friend will also share what s/he thinks when such issues are brought up (not only what other people said). the whole thing is so not nice-- making you feel bad about, basically, who you are. What is pathetic about the whole thing was using childern as an excuse. stupid stupid people!

  2. also, your friend should have told those other people to "get lost"!

  3. What a perfect time (and wonderful concrete example) for those at the bbq with children to explain the beauty of diversity and existence of all kind of relationships. That would have been the perfect way to "think of the children". I agree, you do need to find out what you're friend though and address it. Some people seem to think that merely having a token gay friend makes some kind of justice loving statement. However, when it comes to fully embracing that friendship, they prefer said friend stays in the closet. I am a quiet man but nothing makes me speak up more loudly than this sort of thing.

  4. If your friend didn't follow that up with "...and I told that parent to go eat rocks, and teach their kids about how lurve is a beautiful thing between people", well... :/


  6. The children were probably more okay with it than some of the adults. After all, kids have to learn to be repulsed by something like that.