Friday, December 28, 2007

Sometimes Sex is Just Sex

And other times it's complete and total crap.

Remember on Sunday how I had the opportunity to hook up with this really hot guy, but Y's inability to show up on time threw a giant monkey wrench into the deal? Yes? Well, Really Hot Guy (RHG) called last night. He was nearby. He wanted to come over to watch movies (and we all know what that means).

So, I was all calm, cool, and collected and was like "sure, ok, whatever, let me give you directions." Then, I went into Total Panic Cleaning Mode because my house was a disaster.

He arrived about 25 minutes later, and ... um ... RHG was cute-ish, but -seriously- people, if you're going to send out a photo of yourself, how about using a current one? Would it be that much trouble? RHG was about 20-30 pounds heavier than his photo. Not a complete turnoff, mind you (because sometimes I likes my men to have a little meat on their boneses), but I felt mislead.

Which is not a good way to feel.

He came in. We watched a movie. Then, we watched movies. His cock was kinda weird. Very thin with a ginormous head. Not overly attractive.

I leaned in to kiss him. He stopped me and said those three little words I long to hear:

"I don't kiss."

What da fork? I had specifically asked him when we were chatting if he liked to kiss, and he said:

(and I quote)


Strike 2.

Then, he said, "I'll kiss next time."

Um, what? What's wrong with this time?

He never said.

Two blowjobs [I had to get something out of it] later, he was out the door. And out of my life.

In -hopefully- happier news, I have another date tonight. I'm meeting a guy for drinks at Firefly after work. We'll see how it goes ...

And, now, for your poetry reading pleasure, I give you:

Shards of Glass

Shards of glass
sparkle so against a darkened sky.
Tears of blood
slowly flow from an opened eye.
Pools of color
become one upon the distant ground.
Shades of marble
standing still echo not the sound.

(Colonnades, 1991).

I was 20 when I wrote that. So much more mature than the poems when I was 19. *cough*


  1. oh my u little tramp!

    I hate when people use old and "overly flattering" pictures. To be honest I would say that is the case 75% of the time.

    You lasted longer than I would have.

  2. I guess two blowjobs is better than none blowjobs. Oh well.

  3. *hack*
    So sorry 'bout sucky secks.
    Better luck tonight, I hope!

  4. No kissing? I don't get that. You're so bad for describing his penis, bad vuboq bad : )