Friday, August 22, 2008

Behold the Ravages of Age (redux)

I'm pretty sure I've used that title before. Oh, well.

Some mornings, I get out of the shower and think "Damn. I look goooooood."
Other mornings, I'm all, "What gutter did *that* crawl out of?"

This, unfortunately, was a Gutter Morning. And, gawd help me, I decided to document the disaster. Normally, I apply several photo-taking tricks to appear younger. The secret for looking young on a blog? Smoke and mirrors, kittens. Smoke*. And mirrors**.

The photos you are about to see are unaltered in any way. Prepare to be horrified!

I hate to shave. Fortunately, I come from a long line of people who were Beard-Challenged. This is about 3 (or 4?) days growth:


Do you see what I see? OMFG! I have some gray facial hair! How did that happen? GAH!

And, a view of my (almost) natural hair color:

More gray hair! ACK!

TEH EYEWRINKLEZ!!!!



And, finally, the most horrific photo of all (you may want to avert your eyes):

Teh GIGANTIC (and growing) BALD SPOT!!!

Life. It is so cruel.

Fortunately, I'm going to win the lottery tonight ($98 million, $58.4 million cash payout) and people will love me for my money rather than my looks.

*smooches*

*Jiggle the camera slightly to get a blurry photo.
**Smear the lens with vaseline.

I apparently have no shame whatsoever.

15 comments:

  1. oh honey! i happen to find men with gray in their hair and laugh lines very very attractive!

    however, i'm pretty sure i have more of a beard than you ;-)

    how old is vuboq?

    also? when you win the lotto, can i have just like $1 mil? i'll totally give you a mil when i win!

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  2. biddy: vuboq is 38.

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  3. superfantastic cousin4:10 PM

    WTF-ever. I can't even see these supposed gray hairs. You want to talk about gray hair? I have to get highlights now to help it blend. The last time I went in I said, "how about some red highlights?" and my hairdresser was like, "Um. No. You have too much gray." I like the eye lines, though. They look good. Keep smiling.

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  4. Smoke and mirrors? I had always thought that you just needed to upgrade your 2 megapixel camera...

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  5. All I can say is welcome to the club, sweetie. *sigh*

    Fortunately, my people are also somewhat beard-challenged, though I think you got better genes in that regard than I did.

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  6. Count me as a big fan of gray hair. I used to color my hair a lot because I like variety, but since I turned gray, I just don't have the heart for it.

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  7. I think teh eyewrinklez are sexy. I don't see enough gray to make a difference. The thing I dislike about gray hair is that it's got a coarser texture and doesn't play nicely with the other non-gray hairs.

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  8. honey, you want bald spot? look at PCSguy. hair cuttery (i know) charges him half price.

    xoxo, sg

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  9. 38? A mere child!

    Not "wrinkles," but "laugh lines."

    Gray just means that you are on your way to being a Silver Fox!

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  10. No sympathy whatsoever. My bald spot covers about 60% of my head, the eye wrinkles took up residence long ago and the gray aint' just in my beard and on top of my head, if ya know what I'm sayin'.

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  11. Sadly it's going to get worse. I don't mind the gray, the thinning hair, even the wrinkles. What's really sucking are the AGE SPOTS appearing. Ugh cubed.

    Very nice lips!

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  12. I don't mind grey -- I do mind my rapidly receding hairline -- a lot.

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  13. I see no weekend update. This means you won the lottery?

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  14. earl cootie: unfortunately, it only means that vuboq is moving slowly this morning.

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  15. Hair loss SUCKS. I feel you, hon.

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