Friday, August 22, 2008

Behold the Ravages of Age (redux)

I'm pretty sure I've used that title before. Oh, well.

Some mornings, I get out of the shower and think "Damn. I look goooooood."
Other mornings, I'm all, "What gutter did *that* crawl out of?"

This, unfortunately, was a Gutter Morning. And, gawd help me, I decided to document the disaster. Normally, I apply several photo-taking tricks to appear younger. The secret for looking young on a blog? Smoke and mirrors, kittens. Smoke*. And mirrors**.

The photos you are about to see are unaltered in any way. Prepare to be horrified!

I hate to shave. Fortunately, I come from a long line of people who were Beard-Challenged. This is about 3 (or 4?) days growth:

Do you see what I see? OMFG! I have some gray facial hair! How did that happen? GAH!

And, a view of my (almost) natural hair color:

More gray hair! ACK!


And, finally, the most horrific photo of all (you may want to avert your eyes):

Teh GIGANTIC (and growing) BALD SPOT!!!

Life. It is so cruel.

Fortunately, I'm going to win the lottery tonight ($98 million, $58.4 million cash payout) and people will love me for my money rather than my looks.


*Jiggle the camera slightly to get a blurry photo.
**Smear the lens with vaseline.

I apparently have no shame whatsoever.


  1. oh honey! i happen to find men with gray in their hair and laugh lines very very attractive!

    however, i'm pretty sure i have more of a beard than you ;-)

    how old is vuboq?

    also? when you win the lotto, can i have just like $1 mil? i'll totally give you a mil when i win!

  2. biddy: vuboq is 38.

  3. superfantastic cousin4:10 PM

    WTF-ever. I can't even see these supposed gray hairs. You want to talk about gray hair? I have to get highlights now to help it blend. The last time I went in I said, "how about some red highlights?" and my hairdresser was like, "Um. No. You have too much gray." I like the eye lines, though. They look good. Keep smiling.

  4. Smoke and mirrors? I had always thought that you just needed to upgrade your 2 megapixel camera...

  5. All I can say is welcome to the club, sweetie. *sigh*

    Fortunately, my people are also somewhat beard-challenged, though I think you got better genes in that regard than I did.

  6. Count me as a big fan of gray hair. I used to color my hair a lot because I like variety, but since I turned gray, I just don't have the heart for it.

  7. I think teh eyewrinklez are sexy. I don't see enough gray to make a difference. The thing I dislike about gray hair is that it's got a coarser texture and doesn't play nicely with the other non-gray hairs.

  8. honey, you want bald spot? look at PCSguy. hair cuttery (i know) charges him half price.

    xoxo, sg

  9. 38? A mere child!

    Not "wrinkles," but "laugh lines."

    Gray just means that you are on your way to being a Silver Fox!

  10. No sympathy whatsoever. My bald spot covers about 60% of my head, the eye wrinkles took up residence long ago and the gray aint' just in my beard and on top of my head, if ya know what I'm sayin'.

  11. Sadly it's going to get worse. I don't mind the gray, the thinning hair, even the wrinkles. What's really sucking are the AGE SPOTS appearing. Ugh cubed.

    Very nice lips!

  12. I don't mind grey -- I do mind my rapidly receding hairline -- a lot.

  13. I see no weekend update. This means you won the lottery?

  14. earl cootie: unfortunately, it only means that vuboq is moving slowly this morning.

  15. Hair loss SUCKS. I feel you, hon.