Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Chaos Theory

There are times when my brain is swirling with so much activity that I have a difficult time picking out the right thoughts and focusing. I have so much left to do before my trip ... I have someone who didn't feel "magic" when we kissed coming over for dinner tonight ... I have to go to the store ... I have to go to the bank ... I have to figure out what to pack, what to wear, what to take, what to do, who to do ... I have conflicted feelings about all sorts of crap ...

In an attempt to bring order to the chaos, sometimes, I randomly select a memory and focus on it. It's funny how, even though the memory is usually unpleasant, or uncomfortable, or awkward, it helps. Somehow ...

My family moved to Rural Hall, NC, the summer before I started 7th grade. Most of the friends I made that summer attended a different school. I was shy and gangly and physically immature. I had a hard time making friends.

Seventh graders were required to take Life Sciences. My teacher was Mrs. Efird, a close-to-retirement-aged woman with big glasses and badly colored hair. The classroom was small and dark with walls painted a color one could only refer to as "Institution Green." The students sat at ancient black-topped lab tables, crammed in tight rows.

For one class, early in the term, Mrs. Efird passed out a list of occupations.

"I'm going to go around the class. Choose one occupation you'd like to have from the list."

The list was far from comprehensive. There wasn't a single job on it I wanted. I started to panic. Other students were telling her their choices. Maybe I could be a teacher, but that's not on the list.

She was only two students away from calling on me.
"Um ... preschool teacher?"
The entire class burst into laughter.
I flushed a bright red.

I'm still not sure what the point of that lesson was, and my thoughts are still swirling.


  1. I always cringed when it was my time to be called on in school.

    You are going on a trip? Really? I had no idea! Where? (hehe)

    I can feel your exitement and yea it's always a bit stressful just before you go somewhere that far.


  2. I saw a great T-shirt on Saturday, it was black with big white letters on the chest that said:

    "Go ahead-PROFILE ME!"

    I suggest you get one to wear on the plane. I'm sure the TSA people will get a kick out of it!

    Of course the guy I saw wearing it looked Arabic, so maybe not so funny...

  3. I am confused by "Life Sciences." Was the idea that this taught you how to lead your life in an efficient manner? If so, I could sure use that class today.

    The again, a class that didn't offer "teacher" as a job option seems pretty poorly thought out. What job did the people who made up that list thing they were doing?

    I suppose Go-Go Dancer was out as well?

  4. Did they have "Be a fuck up that quits one university because they find it dull, join another, pass with flying colours, travel all over the world, form own business twice and then move 10000 miles away and get a job doing whatever you want"? I call it the "Only Me" career. Not sure I recommend it though. The Visa applications are tough...