Sunday, April 12, 2009

Resurrection

At the mall at Pentagon City, quite unexpectedly, I ran into John. We hugged. He smelled good. He looked good. OMG. He looked great ...

We didn't talk long. I got his phone number and made a promise to call.

And all the feelings I had for him bubbled back to the surface. Since this afternoon, I've been playing back my decision to end it. Maybe I acted too hastily. Maybe I didn't think it through carefully enough. Maybe I over-reacted.

Maybe I didn't. Maybe I made the right choice. It felt right at the time. If hindsight is 20/20, I think I need to see an optometrist.

On the metro ride home, I realized that I've forgiven him. The hurt is gone ... or at least it seems to be. And, maybe, I dunno. Maybe we can forge some sort of friendship out of this mess. I don't want to be in a relationship with him again (for sure), but I miss him. The ache is still there.

And, now, I'm off to cry myself to sleep ... sometimes that's a good thing to do.

7 comments:

  1. You totally did not overreact. Really and for reals. He didn't just break your trust, he sledgehammered right through it and drove a semi through the hole. People are justified at being incredibly pissed when this happens. And so you were.

    Also, hugs.

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  2. Hugs. You deserve better than that, darling.

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  3. Don;t look for a relationship. Sorry to say this, but you'll only open yourself up again for the inevitable. Rather than repeating old mistakes, at least give yourself the chance to make new ones.

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  4. Oooh, that's a frustrating nasty feeling. You are better than a cheating cheater, no matter how hot he is. You deserve better than a cheating cheater.

    I hope he's sitting at home thinking, "damn, Vuboq is looking good. I was an asshole to be such an asshole to him."

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  5. anne marie in philly4:52 PM

    if the cheating cheater cheated on you cheatfully once, he will do so again.

    BTW, whatever happened to CNTBD?

    PS - word is "losts"; does that describe VUBOQ? don't want to see you hurt again, hunnybear.

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  6. me no wanna see you end up badly with anyone! Try a Peanut Butter martini with your easter eggies and smile....better Peeps will come along! Happy Easter!

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  7. People are missing the point that you are just looking to have him back in your life as a friend. I think that is mature and wise of you. Tread slowly and carefully, but I think there is nothing wrong with testing the waters to see if some amicable relationship can be restored. Ex's can often make great friends.

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