Monday, February 27, 2006

Weekend Update: Alotta Fagina Edition

While I'm waiting for my tax forms and booklets to print (ACK! It's taking FOR-ever!), here's a rundown of my weekend:

Friday night, after dinner, John picked me up. I made brandy alexanders (1 part brandy, 1 part creme de cacao, 1 part Haagen-Daz vanilla ice cream, 1 maraschino cherry, splash of maraschino cherry juice). We watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Brad Pitt. So hot. Angelina Jolie. So hot. Lots of hotness to be had. *drool* and EXPLOSIONS!

Saturday, John dropped me off at my place on the way to the gym and I waited for my sofa to arrive. It was scheduled to be delivered between 12 and 4, so I was expecting it around 3:59. Lo and behold, the truck pulled into the parking lot at 12:30! WOW!

I LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE my new sofa! Everyone is invited to come sit on it!

The rest of the day, I blobbed around on my sofa, knitting, reading, and eating. That evening, I fixed a nice dinner, had some wine, and watched Sahara. Matthew McConaughey. So hot. Penelope Cruz. So hot. Lots of hotness to be had. *drool* and EXPLOSIONS!

John went out clubbing. He called me around 1:15 in the morning. drunk. fun.

Sunday, we went to Pentagon City mall. I bought shoes. Yay. Shoes. New brown shoes. So excited. I'm going to wear them tomorrow. They are c.u.t.e. CUTE. We met Ray and Joey for lunch. And, yes, I still don't particularly like Joey. He's just not ... um ... interesting. I also bought John's (very belated) birthday present: Season 1 of Queer as Folk and my dad's not-yet-belated birthday present: a Johnny Cash CD. Dad's birthday is March 3rd. [Mine is March 17th for those of you keeping track. hint. hint.]

After shopping, we drove back to my place so John could see the NEW SOFA. He likes! Not that it would matter if he didn't, but it's nice to know that he does. Then, we drove back to his place.

We watched lots of Bravo! Project Runway reruns. YAY! During those reruns, several commercials for this new birth control device, NuvaRing, came on. Apparently, it's a "vaginal ring" of some sort that lasts for a month. Not having seen a vagina since ... I don't know ... birth? I don't get how it works.

Do women just stick it up there and leave it for a month? How does that effect their sex lives? Does the guy slide through it? What if he's ... um ... endowed?

Needless to say, John was no help answering these burning questions ... even though I asked them repeatedly (like, every time the commercial came on). It seems kind of gross.

THEN, we watched a movie (well, I watched bits and pieces in between loads of laundry). It was one of the Triple X movies, the one with Ice Cube (Ice Tea?). I must have been in one of those moods, because I kept asking questions (which drives John crazy). Like, why did they say the train was traveling north up I-95, and then show all the helicopters flying south? I had to explain this to John - in the shot with the helicopters flying towards the camera, the Washington Monument was on the left, the US Capitol was on the right. Thus, they were flying south. GAH.

Things like that drive me crazy. I mean, really, if you're going to make a movie set in the nation's capitol, at least get the major facts right. Same thing with The American President (Note to Annette Benning's character: You don't have to drive around Dupont Circle to get to the White House).

And, then, we went to bed. I had hidden John's present under his pillow with a note. I think he liked it. There was some red hot luvin' and then we went to sleep.

This morning, curse be the DemonDog Puppy from Hell, Oscar. Somehow he managed to get down feathers all over my overcoat. It looked like a couple of baby chickens had exploded on it. Yeesh. John didn't have a lint brush or packing tape or anything. I tried to get the fluffy white specks off of it with a paper towel. That didn't work. SO, I ended up leaving it at his house and wearing one of his winter coats. And, I was running late and didn't have time to stop for my morning coffee. AUGH!

Meanwhile, Robert is having a ball in Argentina. I would hate him, except I know he's going to bring me back a fantastic present!

*fluffy down smooches*
*cough* *hack* *sputter*


  1. angelina jolie is the hottest woman *ever*

    i thought you and john were going to "christen" your new sofa with "watching movies"

  2. I like your weekend movie choices. I think it's great you and John go out seperately and have your own lives - keep that up and it'll help a lot if you're still together in seven years. I bet you look silly in John's coats. I hate fuzz. That contraception sounds weird. I adore you.

  3. Anonymous9:14 PM

    You don't want to know, but I'm telling you anyway! The Nuva Ring stays way up by the cervix, out of the way of any questing penii. It stays in for three weeks, is removed for a week, and then a new one is used.

    More info than you wanted, I'm sure, but I'm putting off writing in my journal, and I got to say "penii"! Yay! ~~Chelsea