Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Honest Tea

Good Morning, Kittens.

At some point over the weekend, BOSSY and I had a brief conversation about blogging (Imagine). I don't have the readership of most of the power blogs out there. But, as BOSSY said, "Your readers are loyal." And, it's true. I have this fun little community out there, who are very important to me.

Back in the day, when I was getting about 10 hits a day, I was no-holds-barred honest. Now that I get a few more hits than that, I have noticed that I have started to be more secretive. And what's the point of keeping a personal journal if you don't record everything?

Which brings us up to the whole point of this post (almost) ... a few months ago, Y and I resumed a sexual relationship. I haven't really blogged about it (although I think I've hinted?) ... mostly because I feel like I'm disappointing readers. I'm certainly OK with the sex. Otherwise, I wouldn't be having it with him. It's not like I plan to re-enter a Romantic Relationship, because we all know that that wouldn't work. But the sex? That was probably the best part when we were together ... and it's what keeps bringing me back.

What can I say? I'm weak.

Anyway, the whole deal got ratcheted up a notch when he asked if he could start renting my spare room. Monday morning*, we started discussing the ramifications of what that would mean. I mentioned several of my worries and some things he does which annoy me: that when he's here he expects me to wait on him, that I don't want to cook for him, that he tends to monopolize the living room ...

Then, I said that he shouldn't expect to spend every night in my bedroom. And, he became silent. And started to look sad. "I guess I shouldn't expect that," he said with a resigned tone which indicated that that was what he was expecting.

"No," I replied. "You shouldn't. And, if I decide to rent the room to you, you need to be prepared for that."

Then, we had sex (again). And he left.

I did nothing for the rest of the day ... except eat and sleep and drink. Y'know. The usual.


*Oh, right. I apologize to those of you who I told a "friend" picked me up at the station on Sunday night. It was Y. I'm sorry for misleading you.


  1. My dear, if you're getting what you want/need from him and not a lot of disappointment, go for it. If he starts to mess with your head and treat you badly again and hurt your feelings, I might be having to send my knitting sniper friends after him.

  2. Oooh, be careful, hon. Close quarters can be difficult in the best of circumstances. Make sure if he does move in that you have total power of eviction should things get unpleasant.

    But Hells Yes on the sex.

  3. Mmmm...sex.

    I'm a loyal reader for 800 months now. Or maybe 8. Sometimes, I get carried away.

    Adore you already.


  4. Well, as long as there are rules and stuff, and, you know boundaries, and, like, no one's getting hurt (esp. you), then what the hey? Enjoy! (It's what The Hippies would do!)

  5. Vuboq, I still read (and love) your blog, and if I had a cute unattached gay son, I would totally try to hook you up. (The only gay one out of five kids is unfortunately not your flavor... she's lovely, but she's a she.)

    Anyhow... even though I never comment, and even though (please forgive me) I totally flaked out on sending you a birthday anything, please know that I still come here with anticipation and leave with satisfaction and a smile.

    And it sounds like you're totally prepared to take care of your own emotional, physical, and space-related needs vis a vis your future housemate (I wrote HOUSEMEAT the first time! BAHHAHAHA!). So no assvice from this quarter.

    Hugs from Hawai`i. (Did you really see MJ at Aloha Stadium? I'm afraid of heights and high ticket prices, but couldn't resist U2 and Pearl Jam when they came through here a couple years ago. OH it was splendid!!!)

  6. it's your life and you'll live it the way you want and need to. my only worry with y would be that you get hurt. i do hate when my friends get hurt.

  7. My dear, I am all about having plentiful, fun, safe and sane sex with friends with benefits. However, sometimes it does tend to cloud certain issues -- something about thinking with the wrong organ I believe.

    From this post and your description of Y's reaction to your conversation it appeared that he may think he is "moving in" instead of renting a room.

    I would urge you to not only discuss who is going to be cooking dinner and who gets to control of the remote control but also where you are in your current relationship (sex only? trying out the living together thing to see if the relationship grows? Or, something all together new and different). Sharing your space/having a financial arrangement makes it important for both of you to know where things stand today--it may change tomorrow or next week--but having that discussion now may avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

    If you do not see things developing with Y, I would not want his presence in your home to get in the way of other options. For example, what would happen if you decided to bring home Mr. Second Date from last week (or was that the week before)?

    Just a few thoughts... I hope they are helpful!

  8. Awwwww, see how your readers came through with sweet worried and supportive comments? Glad you had out with it.

  9. i too am an advocate of being benefriends, but i have to say...DON'T let him move in. it has ugly written all over it.