Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Stood Up Stand Down

Good Morning, Kittens.
Well, my fun dinner and movie date with D never happened last night.  Why not?  I have no idea.
We had made plans to meet last night over the weekend. On Monday evening, I called him to see if he still wanted to come over.  He was on the phone (I can tell this because Verizon phones have a slightly different ring if the person you are calling is on the phone.  Did you know that?  I didn't until someone pointed it out to me).  I left a message.  He never called back.
Tuesday around lunch, I texted him to see if he was still coming over.  The reply I got was along the lines of "Having a crappy day.  URGH."  I replied sorry to hear that.  As I was leaving work, I texted him to say I was stopping by Whole Foods on the way home and asked if he wanted anything.  No reply. 
No texts.  No call.  No nothing. I am wondering if "I'm having a crappy day" should be translated into "I'm going to be working late and I can't come over."  However, I shouldn't have to be the one to interpret that.
So, now, the waiting for any sort of text or call from him begins.  Or, I suppose, I could text some sort of message saying that I'm disappointed that he never let me know he wasn't coming over.  Disappointed?  Angry?  Upset?  Frustrated? 
I'm so confused over this whole dating him thing.  He talks about long-range things, like "when you meet my mother" or "I need to go to Seattle in the winter. You should come with me."  BUT, he doesn't do short-term planning.  He rarely initiates anything.  It's nearly impossible to reach him on the phone ... which is odd, because he'll pick up calls from his friends when we're out, saying things like "if I don't answer this call, I'll never hear the end of it" (which I guess I could interpret as his friends have learned how to manipulate him and I haven't). I'm left wondering where I stand.
On the plus side, I still made delicious curried chickpeas and ate Haagen-Dazs Dulce de Leche for dessert.  Nomz.
And, on that note, have a wonderful day.


  1. Ditch him, or just maintain a "friends with benefits" relationship.

  2. Ya know, VUBOQ, I'm kinda in the same boat with Kris and his phone and stuff. It's weird ins't it.

    Oh well, at least you had ice cream!!! :)


  3. I might have interpreted his "I'm having a shitty day" as "I am in such a bitchy mood it's better I hole up in my cave and not subject you to my snarliness", but as you said, you shouldn't have to interpret that, he could have just said it.

    You could text "What happened last night? I thought you were coming over." and see what the result is. If you get nuthin', that says where things stand I think. If he has a good excuse (damn good) then maybe it's time to lay it on the line about what you need from him to make this work beyond nice plans for summer vacation in 2011.

    Good luck.

  4. Anonymous9:10 AM

    You should not be the one to initiate the next contact. You've already done that. Besides.... there is always the rest of the alphabet. :-)

  5. rn terri9:53 AM

    I agree with Tam.

  6. I wouldn't ditch him, but I would expect a nice little gifty as an apology. Not that I am materialist or anything...

  7. He's just not that into you.

  8. I think Tam's advice is wise.

  9. Seems losery to me. You deserve not-losery.

  10. That is what is known as a "red flag." A red flag can be lowered, depending on what he does to make up for this clear mistake on his part. Let's hope he does. It will show his character. Meanwhile, Dulce de Leche NEVER lets you down!