Good Memorial Day Morning, Kittens.
So far this has been possibly the worst 4-day weekend EVER. Luckily it has been punctuated by some bright moments of fun as well.
To start off, my Thursday night date with J was postponed (who's surprised?) because Awards Night at his school did not finish until late. We talked that night and he would be through with work around 2 on Friday. That would be perfect, because I was getting my hair cut/colored and would finish around 3. We planned to meet in Cleveland Park to catch a movie, Pirates of the Caribbean 4.
Well, around noon he texts, then calls, saying he might have to help set up for graduation ... or he might not. Maybe he can get out of it. He'd let me know. Later, he texts and says he couldn't get out of it. So, he wouldn't be done until 5 or 6. Boo.
Which was fine. After my hair was finished, I went to AU to hang out with Mike (Who Makes Cakes). We chatted until 5, and then headed to Nellie's to meet up with SCGB and some of his friends. Well, Mike abandoned me, saying he wanted to go home. I went on to Nellie's. Turns out it wasn't SCGB and "some of his friends." It was SCGB and "his date."
Hi, I'm a third wheel.
At 6:38, J texts saying he is almost done and out of there. He asks how Nellie's is. I say fun, but I'm hungry and suggest meeting somewhere for dinner.
Around 7:20, SCGB and his date want to go to dinner. I decided to go home. I text J to let him know.
At 10PM, I text again telling him I'm going to bed and sad that we couldn't see each other that day.
Saturday morning, I text wishing him a good morning and asking if he's OK.
The problem arises that I had invited him to Tomokito and Mike's Margarita birthday party at Jerry's. He didn't have the address.
Of course, I'm also really worried. It's not like him to not text or call. So later in the morning, I call to give him the address. No answer. I leave it on voicemail.
Then, I think, maybe he left his phone at work or something ... so I email the address as well.
Since 6:38PM on Friday.
Since it is now Monday morning, I am fluttering between the emotions of anger, worry, and sadness. The last time he disappeared was when he got sick. Did he have a relapse? Is there something else going on? It's the not knowing that is the hardest part ... I tend to imagine the worst. Have I been dumped? Why? What happened?
So, mostly I sit at home and worry.
BUT, like I said, there were some fun things ...
Tomokito and Mike's Margarita Birthday Party was a lot of fun. Eric from Baltimore came down. A fun crowd of friends showed up. There was lots of food and drink and good times. After several hours of boozing it up, we walked down to 9 (the bar formerly known as Halo/Mova). That, too, was fun.
Except, I got to the point of drinking, where I stopped having fun and started getting all sad and depressed. The group was talking about going to Secrets (a male strip club). I decided to leave. So I left. And hopped on the bus home. And felt drunk and sad.
Sunday morning, I felt hungover and sad.
But, I started texting with a guy from last summer (he was letter D, but now I'm going to call him M). I always liked M and hoped that maybe we could move beyond Summer of Fun and into something else. But, he's kind of too spontaneous for me. We would make a plan to do something. I would call to confirm a few days before, and he would say things like "oh. I decided to go out of town." Bah.
Anyway, I was telling him that life was crashing down around me (with work, love, life) and he invited me to his Pity Party. He was recently laid off and in bit of a flux. So, we hopped in his car and drove to Baltimore for the day.
We walked around Fells Point. We bought gelato. We ate at Sticky Rice. And then we came home.
He makes me laugh. And I did feel better (at least for a little while).
And, that brings us to today. I'm having boozy lunch with Tomoko (and maybe SCGB? I should text to see if he wants to join). I think I'm going to DSW. I have a $20 off coupon that expires soon. And, I toyed with the idea of going into DC later to get another tattoo.
I love this saying: ichi-go-ichi-e.
It can be translated as "one time one meeting" and has lots of layers of meaning. The interpretation that resonates the most with me is that you should treat each time you meet someone as if will be the last time you will meet them.
The last time I saw J was last Sunday. I wish I had said some of the things that were in my head.