Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Lessons Learned

Good morning, my fair kittens.
Are we all recovered from the long weekend?
I'm not.
I did learn a few things:
1. Drinking doesn't make me happy.
2. Shopping doesn't make me happy.
3. When I've been dating someone for awhile, I need validation of my existence from that person.
As for Number 1, I noticed this weekend what could become a disturbing habit: When I am concerned, stressed out, upset, one of the first things I do is make myself a drink.  This does not seem to be a healthy coping mechanism.  I'm not saying drinking is bad, but drinking should not be an emotional crutch.
Thus, I'm going to be taking a little Alcohol Vacation starting June 1 (I can't start immediately, b/c I still have some box wine* in the fridge).  I'm not sure how long the Alcohol Vacation will last.  It will be at least 2 weeks.
As for Number 2, I did a fair amount of shopping this weekend.  I bought a book for the nook.  I bought some workout clothes.  And, I bought a new pair of shoes (these).  I am still emotionally unsatisfied.
And, for Number 3, people have called me high maintenance in the past, with which I strongly disagree.  However, I do feel that if I've dated someone for, y'know, 6 weeks or so and spoken on the phone nearly every day during that time (except when that person become seriously ill), I have the right to be a little freaked out/worried when I don't hear from him for 4 days (and counting).  So, I need contact and communication.  I am ok with that.
And, I am still worried about J.  Every day, I think "maybe I will hear from him today."  I have no idea what I will say to him when (if?) I do hear from him other than that I was worried about him.  And maybe my expectations have been too high.  I am working on lowering them.
Other than that, not much to report.  I had a fun Boozy Lunch with Tomokito and SCGB on Memorial Day.  I went for a 3.5 mile run in the heat.  I did not die.  I cooked an experimental dinner.  It was edible, but not superdelicious.
Today, I don't know what I am going to do after work.  I'll think of some way to fill my evening.
Have a great day!
*No judgment.  Box wines are improving. Srsly.


  1. That's not needy. If you only talked once a week, then okay (still rude not to respond), but when you talk daily and then he just poof vanishes, not nice.

    Good for you for recognizing less than stellar coping skills. Hopefully your break will get you back on track and you won't worry you are enjoying the cocktails for the wrong reason.

    Word veri: paper - Wow, I never get a real word

  2. A little break from liquor is something I do occasionally as well. It's good to clear the body.

    I think it is reasonable to expect that the person you are dating would respond to your texts at some point. This is especially true if you had plans.

  3. I've been on alcohol vacation for quite a while now - partially related to being a paycheck vacation for a VERY long time, and partially related to being married to someone whose medication doesn't tolerate alcohol... It's not a bad thing, although occasionally I could KILL for a decent scotch.

    Oh, wait. This is about you, not me, huh? ;-)

    Naw, you're not being needy. I mean, if you've talked every day, and all of a sudden there's nothing? I'd be worried - either he's been hit by a bus, or he's got issues. Either way, I don't think you are out of line wanting to know. (Although it may be tough to call after being hit by a bus...)

    -Dr. Liz (and not Fiona the dog, who doesn't particularly like scotch and doesn't use the phone due to an inherent lack of thumbs)

  4. Needy? Hey its not like it's only one date and you're obsessing over him. I think your reaction is understandable. If drinking and shopping don't help, then I say watch a marathon of Absolutely Fabulous, that's GOT to make you laugh. Or just go out, find another hot boy and have teh hot, sweaty, decadent buttsechs. It may not help long term, but it'll take you mind off of things while it's happening. :)


  5. Well, you're certainly not high-maintenance for THAT reason. ;-)

    Not much to add to the above comments and what I've already communicated with you. Hopefully things will clear up one way or another and you can move forward.

    Even more hugz.

  6. Shoes are cute ;)

  7. Anonymous11:12 PM

    High mtc is sooooooo 90s.
    Emotional foreclosure is the new term.

    Everyone has something and my exp is that the ones throwing terms around are the least comfy with expressing feelings.

    I am sorry for him.... All your friends sound fabulous oh and you are toooooo!!!!!

    Lurrrrrrveeee from Tx......

  8. I've been reading for a long time. And I must admit the way you write about alcohol is tempting to those of us who can't have just one.

    If a drink is the logical end point of every action or social gathering you might have a problem.

    You don't want to wrap yourself in a blanket of addictions that won't serve you well in the end. You are too good looking and talented for that.

    Just a thought...

    As for J. the incommunicado state is perplexing. Some of the men you have dated over the last few months seem to follow a pattern. Furious contact and a fizzling out on communication. Not a good sign if you are running through the alphabet so quickly. He owes you some kind of word!

    You have a run coming up and I surmise if you drop the drink your performance will improve. The less your body has to process in the long run could pay off for you.

    The blog is good reading even if the majority of your fun involves alcohol. It's good to be reminded on a daily basis about certain facts of life.

    Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving ...


  9. Huh. Anyone who wouldn't want to chat with you everyday probably has something wrong with them. Or him, in this case. Sorry the guy is being a poop. If it helps any, I love you!

    Great shoes.

    Good for you on the booze vacation. Give your liver and brain cells a chance to recover before the next onslaught : ).

  10. My alcohol vacation lasted 2 days. I wish I had read this before or I may have been more motivated. Anyway, the crumbling was Serge's fault. (denial anyone?)

    My current box wine is Fish Eye Shiraz. It's yummy.