Vibrant.(Still) Unrepentant. Badass. Old. Queer

Need coffee ... Yes! Yawn Valdez! My HERO! With apologies to the family of Juan Valdez ...

I am concerned, because, well, it may be going right through my neighborhood and ... gosh ... we just don't want those kind around. Won't anyone think of the children? Of course, I had no idea that counties could be bi. Or gay, for that matter. Straight counties, on the other hand, I've seen a few in my day. Unfortunately, they tend to be a bit square. Could there be a more perfect name for our Bi-Transit Route than the Purple Line ?

One of the major benefits of maintaining separate residences is, when the boyfriend has to get up at 4AM to drive to Annapolis to work, I get to sleep until 6:30 in my own bed, undisturbed by an early alarm, bouncing demondog, and clomping boyfriend. Of course, the major drawback is a) no nighttime nookie and b) no morning nookie. I think an extra 2.5 hours of sleep is worth it though. Not that there has been (or will ever be) any offer to combine residences. Mostly for the reason that John needs an entire three level house to store all his clothes and crap. The man has one closet full of jeans. only. [I am *so* tempted to take a picture to prove it.] AND, in the guest room he had to buy 4 (FOUR!) wardrobes for the rest of his clothes. So, no room for me, my clothes, and/or my furniture there. OK. "Mostly for the reason" is misleading. I think the main reason is that I like having *my* own place. I like the feeling of independence, that I don't need to rely on a...

and the dirty dishes in the sink. I felt a little guilty about having such a pathetic Meat-Free Monda y picture, so here's a treat: Meat-Free Tuesday ! Fire and Ice Tomato Salad. Yum. Slice one tomato. Peel, de-seed, and slice one cucumber. Thinly slice half of one red onion. Place in dish. Dressing: 1/2 cup olive oil, 3-4 tbsps red wine vinegar, one clove garlic, one jalapeno pepper (de-seeded, if you wish), 1 tsp salt, pepper to taste. Blend in food processor. Pour dressing over sliced veggies. Cover and chill. Eat. Say "YUM!" AND, it's even better the next day! Mmm. Mmm. If you're wondering about the beverage, it's my own concoction: A Strawberry limoncellotini! Put juice of one lemon and 2-3 oz of homemade strawberry limoncello over ice in a shaker. SHAKE IT! SHAKE IT! SHAKE IT like you've got Parkinson's Disease! Strain into chilled martini glass. Drink. Say "YUM!"

Spontaneous Evaporation. The Silent Killer. The Ugly Third Cousin to Spontaneous Combustion. it's hot. hot hot hot hot hot hot hot. hot. So, I bought popsicles for my staff. Mmm. frozen icy goodness. *yawn* And, um, there have not been enough comments telling me how fabulicious the back panel of my sweater is. Get to it, people!

Leave it to someone else to remind me that I forgot Meat-Free Monday: Holiday Edition . GAH! Of course, I ate meat-free (veggie burgers), but forgot to take a picture. This will have to do: As it would happen, I also ate meat - a big hunky piece of hot chocolate chicken. YUM. Yes, John's flight finally left Chicago and landed in DC around 9:30. I ordered some Chinese take-out for him (5 hours on a plane with no food = very hungry John). He got home around 10, ate, showered, and we went to "bed." And, boy, am I tired. Meanwhile, everyone scroll down and look at the back panel of my sweater. Tell me how wonderful it is. I need the positive reinforcement, otherwise I may never get up the energy to cast on the 100+ stitches for the front panel. *meat-free smooches* More later ... PS. I've added Double Take to my list of Blogoliciousness. Enjoy! PPS. The horror! Starbucks has reduced the size of its apple fritter from humongoloid to teeny. It's still the same pr...

VUBOQ is now hating all that is flat and boring and in the middle of the US (except for Iowa, Home of the Most Marvelous Mush ). Stupid thunderstorms have delayed John's flight in Chicago. He should be here NOW. Instead, he is sitting on the tarmac awaiting take-off. I told him to go tell the pilot that they have special cargo and should be given priority. I gotsta get my luvin'. Anyway, while waiting, I finally finished the back panel of my ribbed sweater. Unlike PeskyMac , who can finish a sweater in a day and a half, it only took me FOUR MONTHS. At this blistering pace, my first sweater *should* be finished by the time cold weather approaches. Check it out: Twenty-seven inches of delicious ribbed goodness. *heh* Pervy Monkeys!

In almost exactly twelve hours, John will land at DC National Airport. It will take him about 45 minutes to get back here, I think. And, joyous reunion butt sex will be had by all. Or at least me and him. Yay. To while away the hours today, I'm meeting a friend for brunch in DC. Then, I have to go take care of my kitty. I'll spend the rest of the afternoon tidying up the house. And I might take a nap. I didn't sleep well last night. The upstairs was too hot and I couldn't figure out how to turn on the a/c. So, I ended up sleeping on the sofa in the living room. Not comfortable. Yes, a nap will definitely be on the agenda. Naps so rock. *smooches*

After I left work on Friday (a few minutese early), I bought Kelly's bridal shower presents at Homo Rule. Then, I met Diablo at Halo to celebrate his last day of work. We walked in, and who did we see? Diablo's very tall friend, J.! I ordered our drinks - margarita for D and I tried the cucumber ginger martini (without the sugar). The bartender took the cukes, some ginger, and some mint, muddled it, mixed it with vodka and strained. It tasted like a mint martini with a hint of cuke and no ginger flavor whatsoever. Quite vomitous. So, for my free drink, I asked Diablo to tell them to leave out the sugar and the mint! That was better. But, it still didn't have much gingeryness. I probably won't order that again. Then, we went to dinner at Cafe Saint Ex on 14th St. Billy joined us there. I had the BLT without the B. It was yummy - fried green tomatoes and some sort of interesting mayo. Plus, sweet potato fries on the side. MMM mmm good. I staggered home and...

All by myseeeee-eeeellllfff... I let the rest of the staff leave early for the holiday. I'm alone. Until 5. *sigh* Someone needs to entertain me.

I received the following email: I noticed that the following chemicals appear on the Inventory with "XU" flag. But I would like to get confirmation from you on their "XU" status before say they are exempt from IUR. Thank you in advance for confirming them. [chemical names redacted] I responded: In order to confirm that certain chemicals are exempt from IUR reporting, you will need to consult the Code of Federal Regulations (40 CFR 710). If you do not have a copy of the Code of Federal Regulations, you may access it online at http://www.epa.gov/docs/epacfr40/chapt-I.info/ . I get this back: your answer is useless. How can you get confirmation from 40 CFR710 for individual substances? I am tempted to respond: Your response is stupid. You read the regulations and determine if your chemicals fall within the exemption categories listed within the regulatory text. How hard is that? I'll work on something less offensive later. Now? I'm off to lunch.

My back hurts this morning. And not for the normal I was supporting a 220 lb man for hours last night good reason. I must have slept weirdly or something. Or my wonderful family bad back genes are finally starting to kick in (Dad has bad back, brother has bad back, Uncle (Dad's brother) had back surgery, Cousin (on Dad's side) bent over to move a planter one morning and passed out from the pain of throwing out her back). I really should start doing that yoga DVD Robert let me borrow. Will it do any good though? Not much on the agenda today. I have to answer a few work email. I'll probably let my staff leave around 3/3:30, since it's a holiday weekend and will more than likely be deathly slow. I'm meeting Robert, and maybe others, at Halo for Happy Hour after work. On the way, I need to stop by Homo Rule to buy the bridal shower presents. I'm also going to a house-warming next week, so I may get them the same things. I mean, really, who doesn't lik...

Sitting here at work, it slowly began to dawn on me that I really don't want to drive out to Target this evening. So, I ran over to Marshall's during my break to see if they had any fun shoes. They had these, which I believe will match my funky new $3 pants. A new shirt is not entirely necessary. I can throw on a black t-shirt and all will be well. So, my happy hour look is complete without the trip to Targe. YAY. Now, I can walk to my place, feed the kitty, metro over to John's, eat dinner, and knit ALL NIGHT! YAY. Life. Good.

I took this little quiz on Diablo's blog and How evil are you ? I am VUBOQ. Hear me roar.

Not much to relate from last night. I went home and fed my cat. Then, I drove over to John's. I watched lots and lots of CSI and knitted. I'm still about 12 rows shy of finishing the back of my sweater. GAH! It's taking me for-ever. Tonight, I'm driving to Target, not to buy a wedding present, but to buy some fun new clothes for happy hour tomorrow night. If you remember, while my parents were visiting, I found a fun pair of pants for less than $3 at Kohl's. Now, I need to find some shoes and a shirt to wear with them. I think Target's Mossimo line should have something. As for the wedding (bridal shower, whatever, I'm not buying 2 presents) present, I decided to buy her (and her husband-to-be) ... Colorful Spatulas!!! and Potholders!!! How can they not LOVE these?!?!?! I think I can buy them at Homo Rule on 14th St.

I'm going to a Bridal Shower on Sunday. I called up the Sister of the Bride the other day to find out where the happy couple had registered. "Target; Bed, Bath, and Beyond; and Crate and Barrel," she said. In the course of the conversation, she also said something along the lines of "They already have everything they need, but the Bride has decided she wants all new things ." *cough* *sputter* *gag* The more I think about it, the more upset I get. When did weddings become a festival of greed, rather than a celebration of love? And why do I feel obligated to get them something anyway? I would think that, historically, the whole wedding gift-giving thing arose because the sweet young couples didn't own anything. Now, people with well-stocked houses are getting married, but they still want gifts . Lots of gifts. Spatulas! Toaster ovens! 800 count Egyptian cotton queen size sheets! Maybe I'm bitter (maybe?) because I know I'll never get married and be ...

Yesterday, I received an evite to a Memorial Day Mamba ! I'm not quite sure what that means, but it will involve lots of drinking and debauchery. The Mamba is being planned by my former co-worker, A, and her idiot boyfriend, Corona , and it is a train-wreck in the making. A's brother and Corona are housemates. Actually, A and Corona used to be housemates, but A was dating someone else at the time. They broke up, A moved out, and A and Corona started dating. Because Corona and Brother are housemates, A has to keep the relationship a secret. The Brother automatically hates every guy A dates. [He's a little fucked in the head, Brother is]. So, if he ever found out that A and Corona were fucking, he'd go ballistic. The party description says that while the cat's away, the mice will play ... meaning, Brother is out of town for the night. Of course, my overactive imagination has created a scenario in which Brother changes his plans and returns while the party is...

Because my planned happy hour with Jerry has been postponed until next week, I'll be spending another lovely evening alone at John's. I'm trying to decide the best way to organize what I have to do after work: feed the cat, check Christal's mail, and go to John's. Option 1: Walk home, feed the cat, walk to the metro, get off at Takoma Park, walk to Christal's, walk back to the metro, and finally walk to John's. Option 2: Walk to the metro, walk to John's, eat dinner, wait until rush hour subsides drive to my house, feed the cat, drive to Christal's, and drive back to John's. Option 3: Walk home, feed the cat, walk to the metro, get off at Fort Totten, walk to John's, eat dinner, wait until rush hour ends, drive to Christal's, and then drive back to John's. None of these options sound overly appealing. I will probably end up choosing Option 3 and not even going to Christal's until tomorrow. The thing is that I hate having to go ou...

CSI-Miami's season finale was last night, and -for some god forsaken reason- I actually stayed up to watch it. Although it was satisfying to see the evil DA get her just desserts, I was left thinking "WTF?" Brazil? You're going to Brazil? WTF. Of course, on the bright side, maybe Adam Rodriguez will sport a thong on the beach.

A few random thoughts: 1. * meat-free smooches * to Mush and Persian Guy for sharing their meat-free Monday meals with us yesterday. 2. I'm eating your favorite potato chips , Billy . 3. Although some people may disagree , living in the DC Metro area without owning a car *is* currently a viable option. You don't need to wait 10 years. Exhibit A: Me. I've lived in the DC/Metro Area since 1999 and have not owned a car during that time. So there. *neener neener neener* Meanwhile, back on the ranch ... John is still gone. I'm still here. The dog is still crazy. The cat still gives forth the Vomit of Joy. Oh. And I need to find a good dentist in or near Silver Spring. Does anyone know one?

Alternate Title: Meat-Free Monday: Explosive Poo Edition I cooked up some Thai Jasmine rice and stir-fried my *very* spicy leftover Mandalay tofu with some spinach. And, the above was the delicious result. I'm a little afraid of what tomorrow will bring however. Is spicy explosive poo in my future? Only my bowels know for sure. The drink? It's half club soda and half homemade (by me!) strawberry limoncello over crushed ice. Totally delish! Also, several people have left comments wondering if their meals "count" for Meat-Free Monday ! As arbitor of all that is Meat-Free and Monday , I hereby declare that if you consider it "a meal" and it contained "no meat," then it was Meat-Free and you shall receive many meat-free smooches from yours truly.

I shouldn't be bored, but I'm in Work Avoidance Mode. I have three tasks which must be completed this week: 1. Weekly Report -due tomorrow. mostly completed. if you take "mostly" to mean "nowhere near." 2. Health Insurance Re-Enrollment -due on Friday. not even started. 3. Evil Employee Self-Evaluation -due on Friday. bleah. Meanwhile, I've been IM'ing and thinking about what to fix for Meat-Free Monday ! I have some leftover tofu from Friday's trip to Mandalay. I've been toying with the idea of using that and some spinach and stuff and doing a little stir-fry. Hopefully, the tofu is still good. More later ... **Update** In re-reading this post, I've realized that #3 could read like the Self-Evaluation form is only for Evil Employees. However, it is an all-inclusive Self-Evaluation. The Good Ones have to do it too.

... and it's kinda sucky. With my boss on vacation this week, I have to crank out the weekly report. On the one hand, it's fairly easy to do and not due until afternoon tomorrow. On the other hand, I haven't done it for awhile, so remembering how to get the correct statistics is a little tricky. If all goes according to plan, I should be finished on time. Of course, I've stopped working on it today. I did all the graphs and I'm exhausted . Meanwhile, it's Meat-Free Monday ! Enjoy a meat-fre e meal and tell us all about it by posting a photo on your blog and/or comment here! Many meat-free smooches will be given to participants! *smooch*

The parental units left this morning around 6:15. *audible sigh of relief* Here's my rundown of the weekend ... They arrived Friday around 3:30. I left work early and met them at the Whole Foods. We picked up some groceries and drove to my apartment. They haven't seen my new place yet and, even though it is exactly the same as my old place (except the floor plan is reversed and it has hardwood floors and I actually own it rather than rent it), they were excited ... opening all the doors and such. Fortunately, I had hidden the likker [and gay-identifying items] well. Around 5:30, we went to dinner at Mandalay, the Burmese restaurant in Silver Spring. YUM! My parents are not adventurous eaters so it's always a challenge to get them to try new things, but they seemed to like the ginger salad and their mild chicken and vegetables in brown sauce. I had the super spicy Mandalay tofu. Mmmmm ... After dinner, we walked around "downtown" Silver Spring for a bit....

The parental units will be here around 3 or 3:30. I'm ditching work then, too. [Yay for leaving work early!] I won't have internet access this weekend, so have fun everyone and blog with you on Monday! PS. And drink a martini or seven for me. *smooches*

At first, I was all creeped out about the hinted at Gil Grisson/Sara Sidle May/ December romance at the end of last night's CSI. However, now that I think about it, it works perfectly, pairing together the two least attractive members (excluding Brass) of the CSI team and leaves the rest for me !!! *bwahahahaha* Hunky Nick, Geeky Greg, Brooding Warrick, and -yes, even you- Sexy Catherine, you're MINE. ALL MINE! YAY!

As I was standing in line waiting to order my egg and cheese biscuit and large coffee ($2.82) at the local Chik-fil-a, a large man walked in. He stood behind me for a moment. Then, as soon as the next cash register opened up, he walked past me and started to give his order. I said, "Excuse me, sir, but I was next in line." He slowly turned, glared at me, and continued to give his order. Uh? What? The only thing I can think of is, because no one is *that* rude (right?), he doesn't speak English. He must be some foreign worker who doesn't understand the rules and niceties that govern our society. So, I let it slide. Well, that and he was like 8 feet tall and 300 pounds. He obviously needed his chicken biscuit more urgently than I. In other news, the parental units arrive this afternoon. Oh, joy! The house is reasonably presentable. At least it was when I left it last night. More than likely Isabella has left a little Vomit of Joy somewhere conspicuous. Also, l...

I drove John's truck to work this morning so I can haul all my laundry and my recently returned from Diablo and very heavy inflatable mattress back to my apartment. My parents are visiting this weekend, and I need to do some light pre-visit cleaning - dusting, vaccuuming, cleaning the bathroom, making the place look like someone lives in it ... I never bother putting too much effort into cleaning because my mother usually takes one look at my home and whips out her pocket supply of cleaning goods [ Go! Go! Gadget Duster ]. Don't be surprised if I blog on Monday about her dusting my lightbulbs. Tonight will be the last night I "see" John until after Memorial Day, what with my parents here and then him travelling for work all next week. bleah. Dog-sitting. I still haven't quite figured out how I'm going to do the whole dog thing on Sunday/Monday, since John leaves Sunday afternoon and my parents don't go until Monday morning. I'll think of somethin...

I *finally* posted a review (albeit probably not very good) of Lost Mountain by Erik Reece over on Envirowonk . Check it out if you get a chance. Having never written a book review before, I'd love some critical pointers. Even though I am aware that environmentalism and anti-war activism spring from a common source, one surprising point that has stayed with me from the book, which I did not include in my review, is how the author worked in a (not so) subtle anti-war message. In the late 1960s, Robert Kennedy made a tour of eastern Kentucky. In 2004, a community art project, recreated that tour, relying on people's recollections to fill in gaps in speeches and dialogue. In one scene, the author recounts the reenactment of RFK's visit to Alice Lloyd College: "How many people think we should begin our withdrawal from Vietnam?" Kennedy asked. All hands, save one, rose into the air. "The policies of escalation in Vietnam have not consolidated our strengthened int...

That is all.

I awoke slightly cranky this morning. Perhaps, this was because John had to get up around 4 to leave for his training in Southern Maryland or Western Virginia or somewhere ... that man could not be quiet if he were made entirely of fluffy white cotton and lived in a velvet-lined box. Of course, Oscar, the happy face-licky DemonDog Puppy from Hell, who was also awake at 4AM, didn't help. John left around 6. I had a lie-in until 6:30. I don't know why I was so tired this morning. It could have been because of all the sex yesterday. *rowr* Nothing like celebrating the One Year Anniversary of Our First Date with style ... and lots and lots of ass-pounding. I can't wait to see how we celebrate the One Year Anniversary of the Day After Our First Date. *heh* The point of this being that, when I finally crawled out of bed, showered, and schleped to work, I was a little cranky. Fortunately, after I bought my venti coffee and apple fritter (aka the Doom of Mankind), I rounded ...

I was all set to blather on endlessly about immigration, but -thanks to Pesky Apostrophe - I'll be spending the rest of my day figuring out how to download and print the Durex Dickorations cowboy outfit ... without getting fired. There must be some way to enlarge the picture. Hm .... Fun times.

First of all , big big BIG * Meat-Free Monday Smooches * to those of you who eschewed meat for one meal yesterday [and left a comment letting me know]. You (yes, you, fullofhype , dillon , diablo , and only me ) made a teeny tiny drop in the very large bucket to help improve our world! Second of all , yesterday, this: After 6 days in a cool dark place, became this: Strawberry Limoncello! It's a little sweet, but still yummy! I think it will make a refreshing summer drink, perhaps mixed with club soda. The start of the recipe is here . Then ... 1. After 6 days, strain out the strawberries and lemon zest. 2. Discard the strawberries and zest. 3. Make a simple syrup. I used 2 cups of sugar dissolved in 750 mL of filtered water (use the empty likker bottle to measure the water). 4. Once the syrup has cooled to room temperature, add it to the filtered likker. 5. Sample a bit over ice and enjoy! Word to the Wise: If you try storing it in the freezer, it will become very thick and v...

I don't think I'm going to feel like cooking tonight, so here's my Meat-Free Monda y post. I actually made it last night ... a very easy peasy not cheesy cous cous salad. Ingredients : One box instant cous cous (I used Near East something and pine nuts flavor), one can red beans, one can black beans, one cup frozen corn, diced tomato, olive oil, red wine vinegar, assorted spices and stuff. Directions : 1. Make cous cous per instructions on the box. 2. Drain and rinse the beans. 3. Dice tomato. 4. Thaw corn. 5. Make simple red wine vinegrette dressing (using red wine, olive oil, spices - I like salt, pepper, and fresh garlic, but I didn't have any garlic last night). 6. Once cous cous is cooked, add beans, tomato, corn, and dressing. 7. Mix. 8. Serve on bed of salad greens, if so desired. It's nice served warm or cold, but I prefer it warm. Also, you can add other fun stuff too, like - I dunno- maybe jalapenos? or roasted red peppers? or peas? So, who else went (or...

Hallelujah! I should've snapped a quick pic with my camera phone this morning, but -by the time I remembered I had a camera phone- I had walked too far past the pair of Levis dangling from the electrical wires stretched across Wayne Avenue. I wonder if it means the same thing as a pair of shoes . Yesterday was a me doing a whole lot of nothing ... John crawled into bed around 2:30AM from his sojourn to Wet. I slept miserably - I blame the Stoli Doli hangover in combination with prickly new down-filled mattress cover thing John bought at Hecht's One Day Sale. I tried to sleep in, but Oscar was having none of that. Stupid DemonDog Puppy from Hell. Fortunately, John makes coffee (and lots of it) every morning! I put together John's TV tray stand, while he cleaned his house. I watched several movies on cable: National Treasure , 13 Going on 30 , and Bridget Jones' Diary II . We, then, drove to my house so I could drop off some stuff and change shoes [John is a little embara...

or ... er ... yesterday, since it's after midnight. It started off brilliantly with friggin' amazing morning sex and cranberry pancakes (both courtesy John). Around 11 am John dropped me off at my place with an "I'll call you later." I did lots of little things: hung a few pictures, cleaned out a closet, organized my CDs, watched a DVD, drank some plum wine, ate lunch, vacuumed, went roller blading in the park, showered ... blah blah blah ... Come 6PM, still no call from the John ... so I decided to head into the District. I met up with Diablo and Billy. We went to Titan for a few drinks. John finally called. We talked for a bit but made no plans. D, B, and I wandered around with B deciding to go home. D and I went to Logan Tavern for a late night snack and more drinks. Lo and Behold, D's date from the previous night, heretofore known as Giganticus, walked by and joined us. I left Giganticus and D to decide what they wanted to do: fuck or go to Blow-O...

My mother sent my brother and me this email today: Hi favorite sons... The greatest gift you give me is your love. One of the gifts I would like from each of you is for you to attend church...to begin practicing the teachings we tried to instill in you as you were growing up. The Church is a good place to find love and acceptance...to have a support group and to become closer to our God. For this Mother's Day the gift I would like is for you to attend a worship service in a church. Of course, packages with bows are always appreciated(sorry, that is the materialisticism in me coming out!) I love you very much...and am so blessed to have you as sons. Mom Dear Mom: The gift you ask for is one I am unable to give. Even the Methodist church, which tends to be quite liberal, your Church, will not accept me as I am*. Fortunately, I have found love and acceptance without the Church. My friends, both here in DC and elsewhere, are my support group, my lifeline. I don't believe it is nece...

Normally, when I walk to work, I walk on the right side of the street. This morning, however, as I started up the hill by the athletic field, hordes of tiny little children were walking down the hill and into the gymnasium. Assembly? Middle School Orientation? Mass Extermination of Little People? To avoid having to wade through the teeming mass, I crossed the street, which lead to the following conversation with the crossing guard: CG: You're usually on the other side of the street, aren't you? Me: Yes, but I crossed over to avoid all those kids. And, as sometimes happens when one breaks out of their routine, one happens across a semi-blogworthy topic. In this case, it was a bumper sticker on a minivan parked in front of one of the half million dollar (or more) homes I walked past. Sligo Creek Elementary: Where Every Student is Honored I suppose this is one of those "self-esteem building" bumper stickers. Probably the parent of some loser kid who couldn't make th...

Recently, I was thinking about the Drinking During Lunch Break Taboo. Why is it considered by so many to be so wrong? And, why do I feel so guilty if I simply think of ordering a beer or a glass of wine with my lunch? And, why does it feel so decadent when I do? [Not that I did today ... seriously ... I didn't.] There are some occupations in which drinking during lunch is not the greatest of ideas - bus drivers, for example. However, I don't think it would significantly affect the work performance of most people in the corporate world. And yet, the two martini lunch has gone the way of the dodo. I think a little alcohol would certainly help me get through my workday. Speaking of alcohol taboos, I remember during my college days listening to a veteran teacher discussing her experiences. At one point, she said, "And if my husband and I want to have a glass of wine with dinner, we drive to a different city." I was shocked: What?!? Don't people realize that teachers d...

The chorus of Love Hangover keeps playing over and over and over again in my head. I'm blaming groggicrankiness and Diablo . In the meantime, let me share a recipe with you. It's easy peasy and sure to pleasy all your lowbrow co-workers who won't touch anything that looks like it hasn't come out of a can or is outside the scope of their limited food realities (like a delicious cous cous salad). Necessary Ingredients : 1 (or 2) pkg of frozen chopped broccoli. 1 small can evaporated milk. 1 can of cheddar cheese soup. Stuffing (I like to use cornbread stuffing). Unnecessary (for some) Ingredients : Sapphire Martini with Garlic-stuffed Olive Necessary Steps : In microwave, cook frozen broccoli. In bowl, mix cheddar cheese soup and evaporated milk. In pot, make about 2 cups of stuffing according to directions on pkg. Grease 8x8 (or so) baking dish. Add broccoli. Pour soup mixture evenly over broccoli. Spoon stuffing on top. Bake at 350 for approx. 30 minutes (maybe less...

... and not for the reasons we like not getting sleep either. Someone (who shall remain nameless, but I'll give you a hint: It starts with "J" and rhymes with "Bohn") gave the dog a couple of slices of greasy leftover deep-fried chicken breast. Now, Someone Else [me] told Someone not to give leftover chicken to the dog because it makes the dog's tummy upset. Did Someone listen to me? Of course not. Was the dog up all night pacing back and forth and letting out super-noxious doggie farts? Of course. Did Someone have to get up not once, but twice, to let the dog out to do his business? Yes. Did Someone Else [me] have to listen to all this pacing and farting and getting up and lying down and yelling at the dog all night ? Yes. Needless to say, Someone Else is very very very sleepy [and a little crankigrumpy] this morning. I want to go back to bed. *sigh*

Have I mentioned that I hate my job recently? No? The company has switched our performance reviews from end of December to mid-June. The upside is that I'll (hopefully) be getting another "merit increase" in July (YAY!). The downside is that we have been given these stupid Self-Evaluation forms to complete with no guidance other than "it should only take 10 minutes." Ha. It will take me more than 10 minutes to finish bitching about these stupid forms. We have to come up with two career goals to accomplish during the year and how we plan to accomplish them ... we have to explain how we "enhanced teamwork" [well, I didn't shoot any of the idiots at Corporate HQ] ... we have to list our major achievements for the past evaluation period [ditto to the shooting] ... and more! GAH! I hate stupid corpbabble. I need some really good stockphrases with which to pepper my evaluation. And, thus, begins a new comment game on VUBOQ: Using your best corpspeak, ...

The key to making good likker is drinking good likker. Here's the start of my strawberry lemon likker: (nearly) 1 lb of strawberries. zest of 2 lemons 750 mL of grain alcohol (like Everclear) Wait one week ... Stay tuned.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that the MSM has completely ignored my contribution to David Blaine's Episode in a Bubble ... Thanks to the kind people at Fullofhype and MS Paint, the truth can be told. In this picture, I am providing moral support to my BubbleBuddy Blaine. [No, we're not about to have sex. That will come (*heh*) after he gets out of the hospital.] Unfortunately, the pressure was too much for him, so I had to take over. The things I do for my friends ... and then, he takes all the credit. Of course, he has better marketing and connections, so he gets all the glory. I don't know if I'll ever get his 7 days of stank out of my fabulously blonde hair. Bastard.

so said Diablo in a recent IM conversation ... John is off to San Francisco on the 21st. He'll be gone all week. I'll be dog-sitting. so. excited. He suggested I join him out there for Memorial Day weekend, but I had planned a SAM Event and I'm going to a bridal shower. I need to decide if I should bail on those events. What would you do? What would you do? Of course, it would also involve kenneling the pooch ... which would mean taking at least a half day off ... which might not be possible considering my boss will be out that week and we are short-staffed. GAH. I will probably end up not going. In other news, I'll be making my experimental strawberry booze today after work! Yay! Whole Foods didn't have any mint, so I decided to make strawberry lemon booze. Hopefully, it will be delicious (and nutritious!). Also, according to my research (digging through my Yahoo! inbox) the one year anniversary of our first date is May 16th. We met in Dupont Circle and had dinner...

Today for Meat-free Monday, I made an orzo salad from epicurious.com. I linked to the recipe in a previous entry. It's pretty good, although I think 1 cup of basil is a bit too much. Additionally, the recipe makes LOADS. I'll probably take it into work tomorrow and force my co-workers to eat the rest of it. Ha! The bread is kalamata olive bread from Whole Foods. YUM! Thanks to Persian Guy for posting a picture of his meat-free lunch. I hope lots of you also had a meat-free meal today. Leave a comment and/or post a picture on your blog if you did. *meat-free smooches* UPDATE: I unfortunately omitted the wonderful person who originally sent me the link to the recipe ... Kristen, YOU ROCK!!! [Now, create a blog so I can link to you ;-)]

I emailed my most fantabulicious cousin (the recently married one) this morning concerning my likker-making dilemma. There were so many eerie coincidences in her email that I had to share ... excerpts -which is an odd-looking word- from Cousin's email in green . My thoughts in [brackets]. Yeah – my thinking was mint . [I thought mint, too!] We’re interviewing a job candidate today – so this is my first time at my computer to day . [I had to interview job candidates today, too!] I went to a yoga class at lunch today and now I can barely move. [I borrowed a yoga DVD from Robert and tried it for the first time on Saturday morning! So, I only did like 15 minutes of yoga and then watched the rest of no more of the DVD, but still ... here's the conversation I had with Robert later that same day: Me : I tried that yoga DVD, but I thought it would start slow with lots of stretching. Robert : It does. ] I borrowed Noel’s Indian cookbook last night and will grocery shop tomorrow...

Kettle Chips Salt and Vinegar flavor tastes a little like vomit. Now, I have a difficult decision to make. Which Kettle Chips flavor do a dislike the most: A certain person 's favorite Cheddar and Beer or the aforementioned Salt and Vinegar flavor? Feet versus Vomit. Why is life full of such difficult decisions?

First, don't forget: It's Meat-Free Monday !!! Yay! For those of you who would like to participate, you only have to have one meat-free meal today. Yes, you can still have your bacon, sausage, ham and egg biscuit for breakfast and your greasy fried chicken smothered in gravy for dinner if you have a nice veggie sandwich for lunch. Easy, huh? Posting a picture of your meat-free meal and leaving a comment on my blog gets you extra *smooches* from me and my tens of thousands of readers. I thank you. My friends thank you. Cute furry [and feathery] farm animals thank you. My plans for Meat-Free Monday include making an orzo salad from Epicurious ... I'll dig up the link later. [ Found it! ] So, my weekend ... Friday evening, because John was in Annapolis for work and I was uninspired to go out, I stayed in. I made yummy vegetarian tacos (thanks to Mush for the idea!) and drank tequila (actually, mezcal from Oaxaca -thanks Diablo !). I also watched my new Harry Pott...

Weirdness #1. Yesterday, I bought the Harry Potter 4 DVD. Later, I discovered it was the icky "full-screen" edition. A sale sticker was covering that crucial information. During my lunch break today, I returned the DVD and purchased both the HP3 and HP4 wide-screen editions. Here's where it gets weird: The DVD I bought yesterday was $19.99 (plus tax). I used my Borders VISA reward certificates to pay for it :-) The DVDs I bought today were $16.99 (HP3) and $22.99 (HP4). ($16.99 + $22.99) - $19.99 = $19.99 (plus tax) However, I was charged $2.11. As I left the store, I started to think, "Waitaminnit. That's not right." During my afternoon break (a few minutes ago), I went back to Borders to explain what happened. The Cute Little Cash Register Girl deleted the previous sale and rang everything up again. The total? $2.11. It still doesn't make any sense. Maybe something screwy is going on with Borders' cash registers. She was like, "It doesn't ...

Here is the tale of my first (but not last) experience with the joys of Tequila ... *clapping* Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine I like to drink you with a little salt and lime. The year was 1988. In those uncertain times, a young man ventured off to college, Elon College to be exact. Elon was mostly a suitcase college, at least among my friends. On the weekends, Those Who Remained would gather in our dorm rooms to drink away the nights. One particular night early in the Fall Semester, I ended up with 3 friends, Donna, Meli, and Ashley. Ashley had somehow managed to get herself handcuffed to this random guy, Andrew (I think that was his name). We were in his room and out came a bottle of tequila ... not the good stuff ... not even the bad stuff. This was tequila in a plastic bottle. A big plastic bottle. There was no salt, no lime. We passed the bottle around taking shots straight from it. I have no idea how many times the bottle went around the circle, but I was well-lit by the en...

or I Went to the Chik-fil-a and a music video broke out The line was long at Chik-fil-a this morning. Apparently, someone had ordered several party platters and the line chefs were in a tizzy. Managers ran around, pouring coffee all over themselves. Workers gave out too much change. The works! Several people waited patiently for their orders to be filled. "I need fruit cups," the cute little cash register girl called out. "Good morning," I said. "I'll have an egg and cheese biscuit and a large coffee, please." "Your fruit cups will be right out," she responded. Hm. On second thought, that probably wasn't directed towards me. More people entered. The manager dashed about like a Chik-fil-a with his head cut off. There was a brief moment of silence, and, then ... Now I've had the time of my life No, I've never felt like this before Yes, I swear, it's the truuuuuth ... Bill Medley's voice wafted above the heads of the hungry ...

Apparently, there's some sort of controversy involving a Spanish translation of The Star-Spangled Banner. It's not that the translation is a bad one, rather that it shouldn't have been done. Yeah. Uh. Whatever. Have you actually read the lyrics to our National Anthem? They ... um ... how can I say this delicately without offending the flag-waving, cross-kissing National Anthem groupies out there? Hm. They suck. They're crap. They are god-friggin'-awful. War. Blood. Bombs. Who wrote this schlock? Oh. Right. Francis Scott Key . Take a look. Judge for yourself: Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight, O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming? And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er t...

On my walk home from work yesterday, I noticed something peculiar: The air had a distinct grape-ish scent, not like actual grapes, but more like the medicine-y purple smell of Dimetapp. I wondered if I could be smelling some sort of flower or pollen that blooms only at this time of year. A quick google search indicated that kudzu flowers give off a grape-like scent. Having grown up in Western North Carolina, I am well-familiar with the Plant that Ate the South*. I did not see any kudzu plants on my walk home, so I am at a loss as to what I was smelling. I have read that sometimes certain smells can trigger memories. This one did not, and my thoughts rapidly moved away from grapes and to how I would spend the evening. Once home, I decided to strap on my rollerblades for a quick jaunt through Sligo Creek Park. It was lovely - warm and sunny with a light breeze. Not until I hit the last leg of my journey did my experience in exercise become unpleasant. Somewhere along the banks of Sligo ...

When I saw these photos plastered across the web, I panicked. My first thought was "What if John finds out?" After the initial shock, came acceptance ... and relief. Our love is finally out in the open. We don't have to sneak around anymore. And for that, anonymous paparazzi person, I thank you ... from the bottom of my heart. really. Gratuitous Ricky Martin Moment brought to you by StickSteven and MS Paint.

The Chipotle Burrito eating tradition is as follows: 1. Order ginormous burrito "to go." 2. In restaurant dining room, cut ginormous burrito in half. 3. Eat one half. 4. Wrap other half in remaining foil. 5. Save it for dinner [or lunch the next day]. Recently, however, there have been some startling changes in my metabolism or something. I'm still gol-friggin-darnit hungry after eating only one half. What's happened? Why am I still hungry? I used to be full after eating half. Now, I want to eat the WHOLE THING. All of it. In one gulp. But, I won't. I have willpower. I can resist. I will not eat the other half. I will not become blobulous. I will not. [Stay tuned for "Resistance is Futile" entry.]

in which I shamelessly steal Mush's use of "in which" as a means to introduce a blog entry and get no nookie As I was leaving work (yay!) yesterday, I called John to see if I should plan on eating dinner at my place or not. He said I should eat at my place because he was going to a work happy hour and would pick me up when it was over. That was at 5:30. At 11:00, no word from the Big J, so I went to bed. At 11:30, my phone rings, waking me up (of course). "I am so fucked up." "I figured. You're not driving home, are you?" "I'm not that fucked up." "You're fucked up enough to call me to tell me you're fucked up." "I'm fine. I stopped drinking and sobered up for awhile before I left the bar." "Oh, good. I feel much better about you driving then." We talked until he safely arrived home. The happy hour was with his new co-workers/bosses/something. While he was in Georgia, he was re-assign...

from a recent IM conversation: Anonymous IM Buddy: Do you think Catholic priests masturbate? vuboq: Yes. vuboq: religiously. vuboq: hahahahahahahaha. ok. maybe it wasn't *that* funny.

Due to a miscalculation on my part, I did not have any clean underwear at John's this morning. I thought I had left several new pair there, but -apparently- I took them home with the rest of my clean laundry yesterday. Thus, I had to partake in the Dig Through the Laundry Basket for Old Undies and Sniff Ritual. Not. fun. The cute jockstrap from yesterday was definitely out. I finally found a pair of boxer briefs from my weekend trip that didn't reek, which I am wearing now. According to Mush , worn-once undies are OK. I am trusting her judgement on this. I feel dirty. And not in the good way.

Every time it rains it rains/ Pennies from heaven./ Don't you know each cloud contains/ Pennies from heaven. Or every package contains Cookies from Adam . I'm trying to save them for my lunch break. We'll see if it can happen, because they look and smell so yummilicious! Thanks, Adam!!!! The wedding rundown ... I arrived late Thursday night (around 10:30PM or so), after being stuck in a traffic jam in downtown Atlanta (I-75?) at 10PM. Traffic! At 10PM! You'd think I was driving on the Beltway or something. I met Catherine at the hotel and heard her hardluck tale of bad hotel luck, involving lost reservations, smoking rooms, and bad rollaway beds. I'm glad I arrived after all of that happened. The next day, I blobbed around the hotel, while Catherine went to a Girlie Bridal Lingerie Picnic in the Marietta Square. It was originally planned to be held at a cute little tea shop, but the tea shop went out of business without notifying parties with reservations. Tha...

I flew in from Atlanta this morning ... and, boy, are my arms tired. [*heh*] so is my ass, but that's another entry. Anyway, I just uploaded some pictures from the wedding. Check them out :-) Details to come tomorrow. *smooches*