Thursday, December 09, 2010

Center of Fabulous

Good morning, Kittens.

As you may well remember, yesterday, GayProf posted the beginnings of our fun little bloggy conversation. And, without further ado, here's GayProf/VUBOQ Joint Blog Post, Part II: Electric Boogaloo ...

VUBOQ: Of course, you know what goes great with a vegetarian diet? BOOZE! As you may know, I love the alcohol. Fermentation is my friend. Some people, when planning a party, put a lot of thought into the food they are serving or the decorations or even which of their hundreds of sets of dishware they are going to use. For me, I concentrate on the Signature Cocktail for the evening … and the rest of the party falls into place.

GayProf: So, you are saying the key to being a vegetarian is drinking to forget the pain?

VUBOQ: Yes.

My Signature Cocktail usually involves an infused vodka of some sort mixed with punch. As a service to my (very few) non-drinking friends, I never spike the punch.

At my most recent party, I made a delicious ginger-infused vodka. The punch was pineapple-orange-lemon. And after enough of those boozy cocktails no one gave a flying fork about what food was served and what dishes we used (if you must know – I used my supercute cut glass triangular plates with matching punch cups, which my parents got as a wedding present).

GayProf: I am jealous of your snack sets. Only one dish set that I own originally had a snack set option. They are absurdly expensive on the ebay. Then again, I do have the grill plate option for my dishware. Only depression-era engineering would guarantee that you can eat without any of your food touching.

With agreeing to host Thanksgiving this year, I remembered why I always aim for a cocktail party rather than a dinner party. Dinner elevates the expectations of guests. You are responsible for giving them the major meal of the day.

With a cocktail party, though, people see any food as a happy surprise. Plus, what with the drinking, they end up having a good time no matter what.

VUBOQ: For the holidays this year, I am going to attempt Candy Cane Vodka. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it? And, I’ve been toying with the idea of orange-infused bourbon. What do you think, GP? Delicious or Disaster in the Making?

GayProf: It’s wintery marvelousness! The trick, of course, is whether you will be able to balance the mint and sweetness. Go too far in one direction, and you are drinking syrup. Too far in the other direction, and it’s mouthwash. My guess, though, is that you know exactly what you are doing.

Quite frankly, though, the orange infused bourbon sounds like a better stripe of genius (maybe because I have not been so keen on candy canes since I was around 9 or so). Orange bourbon would be like taking one step out of the tediousness of making an old fashioned!

VUBOQ: I have been remiss in my co-blogging and have already made both the Candy Cane Vodka and the Orange Bourbon. Both are deliciously drinkable straight or as part of a cocktail. The Orange Bourbon does indeed make a lovely Old Fashioned. I’ve been mixing the Candy Cane Vodka with either coffee, hot cocoa, or club soda.

For those of you who are interested in making either of these holiday concoctions, here’s how:

Candy Cane Vodka = 2 dozen mini candy canes + 750 mL Vodka + about 2-3 hours.

Orange Bourbon = 3 oranges (sliced) + 750 mL Bourbon + about 5-6 days. Strain out and toss the orange slices (They do not taste delicious. Yes, I sampled them … I did that for you, my kittens).

GayProf: What if Bourbon doesn’t last in my house for 5-6 days?

For my part, I want to attempt making Tom and Jerry this holiday season. It was the drink of choice during the 1930s (after the repeal of that pesky Prohibition), but has basically been forgotten today. Basically, it is a form of eggnog. Except it is served warm, sometimes has coffee added, and involves much, much more liquor (which explains its popularity). Best of all, it has its own serving bowl! What hostess would be caught dead without a Tom and Jerry set?

VUBOQ: I believe we need to see a photo of your set.

GayProf: Alas, the bowl to my set broke in transit. It was an art-deco style.

I suppose Tom and Jerry fell out favor given it involves some raw eggs. People are so skittish about semolina these days.

VUBOQ: Personally, I have never found wheat used to make pasta frightening. To each their own, I suppose.

GayProf: Salmonella. Smart ass. Damn my lack of spelling skills and the “autocorrecting” MSWord.

Quite frankly, now that most “eggnog” that you purchase in supermarkets has the dreaded High
Fructose Corn Syrup added to it, I think that it is time that we take back our right to decent noggy drinks. Let’s show the corn empire that we reject their devil’s syrup. Well, unless it’s pecan pie. Then I might make an exception.

VUBOQ: Isn’t it called “corn sugar” now? Mmmm. Corn sugar sounds so Natural and Healthy!

My SuperFantastic Cuzin wrote a poem about low-fat eggnog many years ago. I can’t find my copy of it, but it began like this:

Low fat eggnog
Is not for me
No way, no how,
No Sirree.
High fat nog
Is how I like it
Eggs and cream and
Then I spike it.

She is a poetic genius (among her many other talents). Back in the day, when we were bored at work, we would email silly rhyming poems to each other.

Speaking of talented people (and to make this post *even* gayer), how many Oscar nominations do you think “Burlesque” will garner? I’m going to guess 4: Best Supporting Actress (CHER!), Best Original Song (Show Me How You Burlesque), Best Score, and something technical like Costumes or Cinematography.

GayProf: Oh, Burlesque will surely sweep the Oscars. I mean, with that acting and tightly woven script, how could it not?

VUBOQ: Of course, “Burlesque” will totally rack up the Golden Globe nominations (refusing to insert pun here about Christina Aguilera) because the Foreign Press Association loves campy good times (See: Zadora, Pia).

GayProf: I tend to like it when movie companies transparently make films for gay audiences. I mean, even though the movie is entitled “Burlesque,” I don’t think they could have made the women’s dance numbers less sexy if they all were wearing angora sweaters. Meanwhile, they provided gratuitous screen time to a naked Cam Gigandet. Aside from simply projecting gay porn, they know what the gays want: Sparkles, dance routines, naked men, and, of course, Cher.

VUBOQ: For those of you who have not yet seen this cinematic masterpiece, why not? Get thee to a theater! It’s CHER, for chrissakes. Sparkly! Fabulous!

Have a great day! *smooches*

14 comments:

  1. Egg Nog. *shudder* No no no.

    Burlesque? Meh. Kid saw it. Not really my thing, maybe if I was a gay man it would call my name.

    Great co-blogging guys.

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  2. They call eggnog "chicken milk" up here. I will be infusing vodka with candy canes this weekend, thanks.

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  3. I want video evidence of them milking those chickens Tornwordo. Somewhere in a Montreal suburb there's a flock of chickens being milked to within an inch of their life every December.

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  4. Eggnog is nasty, but "Chicken Milk" makes it sound even more unappealing.

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  5. If you put in enough alcohol, it kills the Salmonella. Or you could just use non-factory-farmed eggs. And then add a ton of booze.

    I'm also wondering if you might get the same effect with the bourbon if you used orange zest and just ate the oranges. Less booze would get tossed out that way.

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  6. rn terri1:03 PM

    Eggnog with tons of booze... yum.

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  7. Thanks for the holiday drinkie recipes. Like tornwordo, I'm drawn to the Candy Cane Vodka, but--can you suggest a mixer or drink recipe or two to go with it? (I'm old & so can't drink straight martinis or 90% vodka drinks any more.)

    I have to say that I'm impressed by GayProf's Tom and Jerry idea, which is very adventurous, but they're disgusting. My grandparents used to make up a big festive bowl for Christmas every year. As I recall, it's just a batter made of sugar, eggs, and butter or margarine. Plop a spoonful of that in a mug, add boiling water and some kind of alcohol (bourbon? rye?) to fill.

    The batter always looked kind of pukey to me. It was a shame to ruin a perfectly good afternoon cat-and-mouse cartoon like that.

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  8. @Dr. Mel I thought about zesting the oranges, but I was too lazy. Also, using the slices gave the bourbon a slightly juicy taste ... which was nice.

    @historiann Candy Cane Vodka is SWEET! It's really nice in coffee and hot cocoa. Or, have it over ice with club soda. Nomz.

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  9. The big semolina scare of 2010? Oooh. Heehee. Sorry, but that made me chuckle. I guess I am just white male Republican, because I really don't think there is anything better than a 20 year old scotch, neat. (I'm really not a Republican, or male... I swear!) However, I find your 'infusions' most impressive!

    -Dr. Liz

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  10. I considered the matter of time commitment to zest. That and the fact that I don't own a zester. Perhaps slicing the oranges, eating the fruit, and trimming away some of the pitch from the inside of the peel. I may have to try it, seeing as I rarely drink bourbon otherwise. If I start now, there should be enough time for it to be ready by the time we go to my parents' for Xmas.

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  11. @Mel You don't own a zester? How do you even show your face in public? Srsly.

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  12. The sugar in the egg nog kills the salmonella. That or the rum/bourbon.

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  13. I'm with Tam and john on eggnog. Gross. The punch and candy cane vodka look delicious, though!

    I'm going to see Burlesque as soon as the crowds die down. Black Swan, too.

    You and GayProf are hilarious. Team up more often, please.

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  14. I'm glad all those people dislike the nog. MORE FOR ME! So jealous of meeting of GayProf.

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