Thursday, May 08, 2008

Missed Connections

Sometimes, when I'm bored at work, I like to pretend the Missed Connections on Craigslist are written for me ...

Like this one:

can help you to paint or remodeling your house? - m4m - 30 (Arlington v)
wednesday night, 9.30 pm or so, saw you alone around your empty t house, can help you? ; ) would like to... maybe tomorrow night, would be nice, let me know... send me a message and describe situation or neighborhood...

Dear Creepy Man,

Please stop standing outside my house and peering in my window. I'm not alone. I have a pitbull. Next time I see you, I'm calling the police.

Love,
VUBOQ

PS. No. You can't help paint or remodel my house.

Brian "A" you are HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - m4m - 29 (Ashburn, VA)
You just moved to Ashburn not long ago! Everytime I see you around the community, you always look at me and smile! Want at least a dinner date? Let me know......

Dear Loser,

My name's not Brian. I look at you and smile because I am laughing at you.

Love,
VUBOQ

PS. I think you may have broken your exclamation point key. But at least you can spell ...

HOTT latin guy at Caribou - m4m (Logan)
long shot...were wore a sleeveless t shirt and spoke spanish (I believe) around 11 today. i was working by the front window. geez man, you are amazingly hot.
Dios mio!

Thanks for the compliment, but I don't date people who (a) can't spell and (b) have issues with capitalization and grammar.

Love,
VUBOQ

Hot Blond guy at Costal Flats - m4m - 26 (Fairfax)
You come into Costal Flats in FFX at least once a week and have dinner with your Mom. You were there yesterday wearing a purple shirt and dark pants and looking really good. If you really are looking at me (sometimes I can't tell) I am looking back. Get in touch. You-about 5"10, short blond hair, slim, sexy, and hot. And you have a fantastic smile! Me- Wanting to get into you.

Dear Mr. Wanting to Get Into Me (ew),

That was no Mom; that was my Wife.
*rimshot*

Love,
VUBOQ

PS. Have you ever tried talking to the guy? Sounds crazy, but it just might work.

Now, it's your turn. Have fun!

4 comments:

  1. Hot Blond guy at Coastal Flats-
    Well, if that was your wife, then you DEFINITELY might be looking for some booty on the side! Next time you look at me, wink twice and I'll meet you in the last stall in 10 minutes. And we can talk if you want to. ;)

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  2. I've never understood the missed connections thing either. If someone's too chickenshit to come talk to me, I'm not interested anyway.

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  3. you have a thing about capitalization and yet you still like me :) how cool is that?

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  4. Haha vuboq, i haven't read you in a while, but now i remember why i love this page :)

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