Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Hopin' and Prayin'

Still no news about my class tonight. I am really not wanting to go, and not because I am supposed to be reading ... ALOUD ... my short story tonight. [OK, partly because of that.]

My main reason for not wanting to go is that it will be slippery outside. Slip.Er. EEEEEEeeee...

Usually, I go home for dinner first. Then, I walk to the Metro station and take the Red Line to Bethesda. Yes, this is the long way; however, rush hour Metro on the Red Line is chock full o' hot mancandy. Mmmm. I think they get a discount or something. What else would explain all that deliciousness in one place at one time?

Since the sidewalks are gigantic alleys of slush, I do not want to walk home. I can either take the bus or stay in downtown Silver Spring, which means that I would need to eat dinner out. [Anyone in Silver Spring want to meet me for dinner?] It's an added expense I really don't want.

And, of course, the trip home from class at 10PM will not be fun, since I catch the bus and the formerly slushy sidewalks and roads will have re-frozen by that point.

Oh, and I'm supposed to read my story. aloud. tonight. Did I mention that? It's making my stomach feel a little oogly.

As a special treat, here are the opening paragraphs of my story:

The yellow-hatted first graders ran out of the elementary school gates at 3PM. Satoshi first heard their high-pitched voices echoing down the narrow alley behind his house. Then, through his frosted window, he saw their blurry images clatter past.

“Is it already 3PM,” he thought, stretching his thin arms upwards. His mother and father should be home soon from their monthly visit to his Aunt’s house in a neighboring town. Any moment now, the front door to the genkan (foyer) would slide open and his mother’s voice would call out, “Tadaima! We’re home, Satoshi.”
Makes you want to read more, doesn't it? DOESN'T IT?

A very happy UPDATE: Class has been cancelled! *WOOT*

3 comments:

  1. Your story will rock. Even when you read it aloud.

    The commute, though, sounds not-so-rockin'.

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  2. Boston is a mess. I am not even trying to leave my apartment.

    The story has me intrigued. What will happen with Satoshi? When will he acknowledge that he is a gay, gay boy? -- Uh, I am assuming...

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  3. Darlin', that's good use of language, but what part of that story makes you want to read more? It's clean English, which is rare enough, but it's cold writing, and it needs a hook. You always want to hook your readers in the first paragraph. Plus, consider the value of short, simple sentences. Sharp. Snappy. 8)

    "The yellow-hatted first-graders ran out of the school gates at three. Satoshi first heard their voices shrilling over the fire alarm, which went off daily over his house. It wasn't just a drill, that day."

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